What’s The “Must-Have” on Your Desk?

I saw my Dream Desk on Twitter the other day, courtesy of Russ Linton.

Photo from Russ Linton

I need that mug! And that secondary computer. I need that huge-o monitor…and those cool colored Post-its!!

But mostly I just need that mug.

Although my sister said she’s getting me THIS mug for my birthday. Squeeee!

What is your “must-have” for your desk? What ritual do you perform at your desk before starting your work day? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Happy Weekend, y’all!!
Jenny

How To Stay Motivated During “The Dark Times”

Photo via Catie Rhodes ~ WANA Commons

Welcome to Thoughty Thursday here at More Cowbell!

Thanks to more than a week down with the flu, I’ve got motivation on my mind. I need some BAD, to get me moving from my bed this week when pretty much I want to curl up and go back to sleep.

The only other time I needed motivation to get out of bed, I was in sales. (We call that ”The Dark Time” at my house.)

Sales was a terrible job for me and I needed a TON of pick-me-up every day.

Why did I hate it? Besides the crappy boss and all the paperwork?

I’m a trainer and a writer, both in equal measure. In fact, writing is easier if I teach often and teaching is better if I write often. I love to interact, to watch people learn, to see the light bulb go on. And I love to tell stories. I like to BE in the moment, and then I like to go home and write some stuff. Most of sales happens on the phone.

My life got a lot better when I realized this and left that sales job behind me.

It takes a lot of motivation to keep doing a job you hate and the guy who could keep me hopped up was Zig Ziglar, one of the greatest motivators of all time. (Y’all know he passed late last year, right?) Zig was ALL about people, as the best sales and motivational people are, and he could keep me fired up.

He still keeps me fired up.

This was the Zig advice that got me out of bed this week:

“You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.”

Another of my fave motivators, Harvey Mackay, put out the following collection of Zig quotes in one of his newsletters. I’m positive the quotes below will be useful to you as you prepare for your weekend.

As Ziglar said, “People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Ziglar realized the important truth: in order to educate, you need to entertain. And he knew that stories and thought-provoking quotes could be great teachers, which is why he collected them and wrote them down.

On marriage:

• “Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.”

On success:

• “There are no traffic jams on the extra mile.”
• “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time”
• “Outstanding people have one thing in common: an absolute sense of mission.”

On failure:

• “Failing is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night.”
• “Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have 24-hour days.”
• “If you learn from defeat, you haven’t really lost.”

On character:

• “Every choice you make has an end result.”
• “If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”
• “It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through.”

And my absolute favorite Zig quote EVER:

“You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

Are you helping other people get what they want? Are you helping yourself? Who is your favorite motivational person? What quote helps you keep going through “the dark times?” Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

Return of the Feverish Laughing OMG Jedi

Hey, y’all! Hubby and I brought the flu bug back from Texas so it’s been a very long week here at Hansen House. But I missed you guys too much to stay away any longer. Plus, it’s Monday, and it’s just a rule that we start our week off with a laugh here at More Cowbell.

Guess what the irrepressible Gloria Richard brought to DFWCon for me??

Besides the Handerpants. Yep, I’ve now got one sassy pair of those!

[That's me and Jess Witkins below. She's one of those wild ones. (Here's her account of the conference with some more photos. The comments are Fab-O.)]

Me and Jess, looking SMASHING in Handerpants

And there’s my fave cute-as-a-button instigator!

But that’s not the funniest present Gloria brought me. Oh, no siree. Do y’all remember the famous OMG post? (That’s the one about living with Oversized Male Genitalia.)

Well, she brought me THE BOOK!

This book really made the rounds. (Here it is with Donna Newton and Piper Bayard)

This thing ROCKS, and I had to share a few snippets with y’all so you could share my joy.

Hubby and I browsed all the chapters on the plane. It’s a long ride from Texas to California with a tired toddler, and we deserved our giggles (especially with the flu coming on).

My favorite is still Chapter 1 ~ You Are Not Alone: Huge Penises in History.

Check out this snazzy opener:

There are some men who have achieved huge things despite their huge penises. Your high school history textbooks probabably didn’t mention their OMG. But, the truth is, in front of every one of these great men was a great big penis.

[Really???]

For example, Benjamin Franklin:

Many of Franklin’s inventions were inspired by his enormous phallus, including the lightning rod and bifocals, which allowed him to see both the tip and the base of his penis at the same time.

Then there was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart:

Mozart’s obsession with music began at a very young age, when he realized that sitting at a piano helped conceal the massive bulge in his pantaloons.

Leonardo da Vinci:

Why is Mona Lisa smiling awkwardly? Because, as Leonardo later recorded in a journal, “that devil had, unbeknownst to me, slithered forth from the safety of my stockings as I painted her.”

And finally, Sigmund Freud:

The pain young Freud felt was so severe that he invented modern psychoanalysis to cope with his own troubles.

That last one explains a LOT. “Hysteria” indeed.

I’m still reading the book in depth, if you know what I mean. I’ll let y’all know if I run across any more jewels. Thanks again to Gloria for the hours of entertainment.

Who is your favorite OMG sufferer above? Do you believe it? Would you care to speculate over which other historical or contemporary men are inflicted with OMG? Go on, make up some great reasoning for us…Lord knows, the book’s authors took a ton of latitude themselves. Enquiring minds always want to know about these things here at More Cowbell.

Happy Monday, y’all!

Jenny

Are You a Big Ho for an Amazon Card?

I am such a Ho for an Amazon card.

Seriously, Hubby knows…forget the new purse, earrings or flowers, and go for the Amazon card. I heap him with love and compliments every time I “one-click.”

Of course, when it came time to give something away for this year’s blogiversary, the Big A card was first in line.

This month’s $20 card winner is Kristal Zacharias! p.s. If you’re not following her on Twitter (@clearlykristal), you totally should. She’s THE BOMB!!!

As far as the last More Cowbell bumper sticker for the month, Nigel Blackwell is our last winner of the month. I wish I’d known before I left for DFWCon…I’d have put it in my suitcase! (Nigel, I will get your address at the conference…right after we take a photo in our wigs. )

I had sooo much fun in April. Thanks to all of you who rode the A-Z rollercoaster with me. The posse here is the best around as far as I’m concerned.

I’m taking a few days off to whoop it up in Texas. See y’all on the flip side, if you know what I mean… If you need to find me over the next few days, either comment here or tag me on Twitter at @JennyHansenCA. If you’re at the conference, just look for the purple wig.

~ Jenny

Z is for Zorino, Zatch and 12 Other Zany Words I’d Never Heard Of

You know why I do the A to Z Blogging Challenge every year, despite the extra work? Because it makes me stretch and learn.

Hubby and I were talking over “Z” words (especially after yesterday’s Scrabble post) and trying to decide which one would make the coolest “Z” post to end the challenge with a bang, if you know what I mean.

We came across a site called The Phrontistery (that means: a thinking place). (S)he had this Groovy List of Unusual Words Beginning with Z. It is amazing.

[And I swear, this guy is Julie Glover's twin separated at birth. She's the only other person I know who knows these things.]

Our favorites were as follows:

Word	Definition
zabuton	flat Japanese cushion for kneeling or sitting
zalambdodont	having molar teeth with V-shaped ridges
zampone	stuffed pigs’ trotter sausage (LOL…trotters)
zarf	ornamental holder for hot coffee cup (but it sounds like barf… *whines*)
zatch	female genitalia (yep, made me snort)
zebrinny	offspring of male horse and female zebra (Really??)
zebroid	like or resembling a zebra
zelatrix	older nun in charge of disciplining younger nuns (Now I’m thinking about nuns with whips. Freaky…)
zenzizenzizenzic	eighth power of a number (Say it…it’s a great word!)
zizel	chipmunk (Oh, Gene…do you whisper zizels too??)
zoanthropy	delusion that one is an animal
zoppetto	medieval Italian limping hop dance (how do you hop AND limp at the same time?)
zorino	euphemism for skunk fur (WHY is there a euphemism for this?)
zyzzyva	South American weevil (Can YOU pronounce it?)

Do you have zany “Z” words that you love? Which of the above words made you laugh? Did you have a favorite More Cowbell post during this year’s challenge? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

ANNOUNCEMENTS: I’ll get one more quick post up this week before the DFW festivities begin so that you don’t have to wait to find out who won the last bumper sticker and who won the Amazon card (remember you must subscribe to be in the running for that last one)!

p.s. I’ve got my gorgeous Cowbell ready to deliver to Julie Glover, the kickoff gal for the Cowbell Chronicles.

Y is for Y Chromosome: Man Motivation (or How I Get My Dudes To Play Scrabble)

Whether it’s testosterone, perversity, or just plain curiosity, most of the men I know are fiercely competitive. That’s been both a blessing and a curse when it comes to me and Scrabble.

You see, I looooooooove to play Scrabble. And I am fiercely competitive. Plus I know the meaning of weird two-letter words like:

• ka is a spiritual force
• ai is a three-toed sloth
• jo means sweetheart
• I don’t know what the hell za means, but I know it’s legal to use.

If I play balls out, I’d typically wipe the Scrabble board with my boyfriends, which of course they HATED. My husband is the first man who ever liked to play just because he liked the game (and loves to see me happy).

It’s been a pretty safe bet in relationships past that once the men in my life find out about my Scrabble talent, they’d get much less interested in playing Scrabble with me.

But I looooooooove to play Scrabble!

So I tricked them into it.

Seriously, it’s easy…you just have to play dirty, if you know what I mean.

Top 4 Most Successful Ways to Coerce Dudes to Play Scrabble**:

• Strip Scrabble.
  Warning: If you’re great at the game, your bluff gets called pretty quickly on this. The enticement of nakedness will lead your Scrabble partner along for a game or two, but after they’re down to nothing and you’ve only taken your shoes off, multiple games in a row, they’ll begin to catch on.
• Naked Scrabble.
  It’s a pretty safe bet that, even if they don’t love Scrabble, they DO love naked women. Therefore, it’s a win-win. And you don’t need to put them through the embarrassment of the above method.
• Bribery.
  One of my girlfriends traded sex for chores. For me it was “food for Scrabble.” (No, I didn’t starve the guy, I just held his favorite baked goods hostage for Scrabble games. No Scrabble, no cookies.)
• Trade off Games.
  It’s only fair. Perhaps they love a game you hate (like Monopoly). You can trade off playing each person’s favorite game, with a periodic foray into something you both love (like Doctor).

Do you have things you like to do that your “Y Chromosome” doesn’t? How do you motivate them to play? And how about you “Ys”…do you have tricks that work the other direction on the “X Chromosomes” in your life? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

REMINDER: Don’t forget! April is also my blogiversary month and one lucky subscriber will receive an Amazon card when I pick the winner at the end of the month. If you haven’t subscribed yet, please do.

X is for X Chromosome: 18 Interesting Facts About Women

Cartoon from Helentoons.com

In honor of my Baby Girl, mothers, and the “X” in the A-Z Blog Challenge, we’re equating the X chromosome with females today. Let’s celebrate some Girl Power! All of you males with moms, wives and sisters can celebrate along with us.

Here’s 18 varied and interesting facts about women**:

General

• The word “woman” is believed to have derived from the Middle English term wyfman, broken down simply as the wife (wyf) of man. In Old English, women were described simply as wyf, while the term man was used to describe a human person, regardless of gender.
• The English word “girl” was initially used to describe a young person of either sex. It was not until the beginning of the sixteenth century that the term was used specifically to describe a female child. (Fascinating stuff!)
• The biological sign for the female sex, a circle placed on top of a small cross, is also the symbol for the planet Venus.
• The English language originally delineated between women in different stages of life with the terms “maiden,” “mother,” and “crone.” A maiden referred to a young girl who was unmarried, a mother referred to a woman in her child-bearing years, and a crone described a post-menopausal woman. (I sooooo love the word, “crone!”)

Biological

• The average height of a woman in the U.S. is approximately 5 feet 4 inches, and the average weight is about 163 pounds. (I find this sad considering that the “ideal” for most women is to be 30-40 pounds less than that.)
• There are roughly four million more women than men in the U.S. (This completely explains some of the dating issues we’ve discussed here at More Cowbell.)
• The most common cause of death for American women is heart disease, which causes just over 27% of all mortalities in females. Cancer ranks just below, causing 22% of female deaths.
• The probability of a woman giving birth to a baby girl instead of a baby boy increases significantly the nearer the mother lives to the equator. While the cause of this gender selection is unknown, scientists believe the constant sunlight hours and abundant food supply in tropical regions may favor female births.

Historical

• The first Mother’s Day was held on May 10, 1908, and was organized by Anna Jarvis in West Virginia and Philadelphia. Congress designated the second Sunday in May as a national day of recognition for mothers in 1914.
• International Women’s Day is held each year on March 8. The annual event was first observed worldwide in 1909.
• Approximately 14% of active members in the U.S. armed forces today are women. (Thank you, Ladies!!) In 1950, women comprised less than 2% of the U.S. military.
• The first female governor of a U.S. state was Wyoming governor Nellie Tayloe Ross, elected in 1924. Wyoming was also the first state to give women the right to vote, enacting women’s suffrage in 1869.
• The first country to grant women the right to vote in the modern era was New Zealand in 1893.
• According to an ancient Sumerian legend, the universe was created by a female, the goddess Tiamat. This role of a female creator is not unique, as the Australian Aboriginal creation myth also credits the creation of life to a woman.

Sexual

• The record for the most female orgasms is 134 in one hour. (That’s what I’m talkin’ about!)
• Because there is an increase in blood circulation around the genitals during a woman’s period, she may experience more powerful orgasms during this time. Click here to see the incredible post August McLaughlin did about the other benefits of the female cycle.
• The word “clitoris” is Greek for “divine and goddess like.” The clitoris is present only in female mammals. It is actually approximately 4 inches long, with 3/4 of the clitoris extending inside a female’s body.
• Women are capable of having different types of orgasms, depending on the stimulation. The clitoral orgasm is the most commonly known, often the most powerful, and the most often achieved. The second type is a vaginal orgasm. The third kind is a blended orgasm, or when a woman’s vagina and clitoris are simultaneously stimulated. Some women can also have an orgasm through kissing, nipple stimulation, or simply pressing their legs together.

**These facts came from Random Facts (I love that place!).

What else do you know about women? I’ll take all of it – be it interesting, funny, unique or sad (I left most of the sad facts out of this post). Are there things about women that have surprised or inspired you? Enquiring minds always  want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

Double Announcement! I had a blond week moment and forgot to give out the Cowbell bumper sticker last weekend, so today I’ll award both weeks. Last week’s winner was Juli Page Morgan. This week’s winner is Renée Shuls-Jacobson.

Y’all send me your address in a direct message in Twitter and I’ll pop it into the mail when I get back from DFWCon.