3 Things You Can Be Thankful You Missed

The last few weeks have been wild. Here are the highlights – good, bad and downright naughty – just for you. Y’all know I try to spread the love here at More Cowbell.

Chocolate BumsSpeaking of spreading the love, if you know what I mean, my pal Donna Newton recommended the most unique holiday gift: “Get your bum cast and turned into chocolates!” This is an actual thing, concocted by artist Simon Smith.

[I know, I couldn’t believe it either.]

As one lady commented, “I’ve run out of original and thought-provoking gift ideas, so here is a mould of my a**hole…”

I can pretty much give this gift item a windy pass. However, that never stops me from sharing the weird love with all of you. Knock yourselves out with them chocolate bums. Let me know how they’re received if you decide to add this booty to someone’s stocking.

Speaking of gifts, do you remember that amazing birthday massage I mentioned in the last post? It was incredible…at the time. Within two days it resulted in breath-stealing sciatica that knocked me flat. Literally. Ohmygod, how do people live like that??

Three acupuncture treatments later, I am almost a hundred percent. But I’ve talked to people in the last few weeks who have suffered from sciatica for YEARS. Holy cowbell… That is just so wrong.

Blue Faced GirlToward the end of that sciatica mess, I was playing beauty parlor with my Little Bean. That’s where I do her hair while she plays with three pots of eyeshadow that I gave her. Her favorite (obviously!) is the blue.

So, I was – slowly – putting the blowdryer away. Remember, when you have sciatica, you do everything slow.

When I turned back around, my girlie had taken the makeup brush and was decorating her girly bits in that bright metallic blue you see to the right.

I’m sure all the parents reading have experienced that weird phenomenon where aliens take over your vocal chords and the damnedest things come flying out of your mouth.

In this case, it was: “Stop painting your vagina blue. We do not paint our vagina!”

I mean, I guess some people do. (If you are an avid vulva painter, I don’t mean to offend. Truly.But she’s in kindergarten…it’s just a wee bit young for this sort thing.

The mother’s at my day job have been rolling in the aisles over the body painting going on at my place. I’ve been doing a software rollout, and creating some websites – my good news is that those projects are almost finished. I am very thankful. You should be thankful that you’ve not been working on these projects with me – I’ve been a maniac.

I’m giving thanks today that I survived these last few weeks and that I have all my gluten free supplies waiting to be cooked for this week’s Thanksgiving meal. I even got a new bit of fabulous gluten free substitutes for French’s fried onions in my green been casserole. Use shallots!

What are you thankful for today? What is the weirdest thing you’ve told the kids in your life? What is your signature dish for the holidays? Enquiring minds love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

Posted in Humor, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments

Happy Birthday to Me!

Birthday Cake

I love my birthday. I always have. It’s not about the presents. It’s not (really) about the cake.

When I think of birthday gifts, I think of the people. Spending time with my husband while the kidlet is in school. Sweet Facebook messages. Hanging with the More Cowbell Posse here at the blog. Those are the things I like, so those are the things I do on my birthday.

Plus I worked more than 80 hours last week to get all my biggest deadlines met before today.

So, that’s the part that is tangible. What about the situations I have less control over, or the things I’m grateful for?

  • The good health my family and I are enjoying.
  • The cooler weather we are finally getting here in Southern California.
  • Being alive and blood clot free these last 10 years since my blood clot extravaganza.
  • Having a happy child.
  • Being employed.
  • Doing NaNoWriMo with my pals. I’m 10K off the pace and I don’t care (much) because I’m having a grand time.

My Girl
My gardenThere’s a massage booked at 10:30 am (thanks, Honey!), lunch with the Hubs, and my girlie has dance tonight, which I love to watch. I’ll putter in my garden, and check in with my pals. I’ll sit and read a book with a steaming cup of coffee at my side.

I have many little moments to appreciate, which equals big plans for the day. Big plans. :-)

What do you do on your birthday, that you might not do the rest of the year? Do you give yourself a gift like I do? Enquiring minds love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

Posted in More Cowbell | Tagged , , , | 52 Comments

Undie Chronicles, Vol. 30: Orlando Bloom’s Undie Obsession

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listenI had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh.

This article came across my desk the other day:

Orlando Bloom won’t wear same undies twice.

Orlando Bloom BAFTA 2008

My pal, Orlando, and “undies” in the same sentence? Y’all know that perked me up. I was so there. I couldn’t wait to see what the man was getting up to under them jeans, if you know what I mean.

But then I read the article in the Chronicle:

The 38-year-old actor is reportedly obsessed with shopping for new boxer shorts and refuses to wear the same pair twice.

A source close to the British heartthrob told In Touch Weekly magazine: “Orlando always seems super excited about picking out a new pair of boxers. He goes to a local sleepwear store once a week to pick fresh new pairs of boxers. He never wears the same pair twice.”

But the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ star is very picky about his under garments.

The insider explained: “He’s not a fan of bright colours and likes each pair to be soft and silky.”

Note to Orlando:

Dude. We have got to chat about your Undie Issues.

I’m as mad for wild undergarments at the next girl, so when I heard about your obsession, I was prepared to be amazed. I imagined elvish wonders, or at least cool sayings on your drawers, like “My Precious” or “You Shall Not Pass.” Perhaps even something clever like, “The ring has awoken…

But the same style, new pair? Every. Day. Just soft, neutral boxers forever? That is so (SO) boring. And germaphobic. And rather bizarre. I’m just saying… It might be time for an Undie Therapist.

**Makes notes to research whether sex therapists address undergarments.**

Orlando…Orlando…Orlando… Or should I say “Legolas,” since that is when I first fell in lust love with you. You’re letting us down, man… Legolas wouldn’t spend time on any of this nonsense. Neither would Will Turner…he’s too busy with his sword, and with swilling rum with his pal, Jack.

Now I will forever think of you as “Orlando, the Anti-Laundry Germaphobe.”

Can we at least get some bright colors going on under those clothes? Farm animals? Glow-In-the-Dark action? Restore our faith, Orlando. Or at least start borrowing your characters’ drawers.

Do you have any undie idiosyncracies? Comments on Orlando’s habits? Thoughts about whether or not he should have an undie donation station for all these “single wears?” Enquiring minds are always  curious about these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

Orlando Bloom photo credit – clair_h on FlickrCC License 2.0
Posted in More Cowbell, Undie Chronicles | Tagged , , , , | 37 Comments

DON’T STOP — Your Story Is Calling You

NaNoWriMoNaNoWriMo is my birthday present to myself each year. Every year, I love it. And every year, I hate it…there’s simply too much to do in the tiny little month of November.

I tend to arrive at December 1st a little bit out of breath.

And still, I love NaNoWriMo.

I love the community, the late-night writing sprints, the before and after parties my local team throws. I love the write-ins, the pep talks, the excitement and uploading my word count. I adore getting the chance to encourage my peeps and watch everyone chase their goals.

Whether you’re gearing up for NaNoWriMo or not, I wish you luck in your writing goals.

If you are doing the NaNo challenge, I’d like to address the dreaded phenomenon of the Week Two Wall where the initial endorphins have faded and the grind of a crazy writing schedule sets in.

Words like “can’t,” “shouldn’t,” and “haven’t” begin to rear their ugly heads.

We all hate those words, whether we’re doing a writing challenge or not. So before NaNo starts, I’d like to chat about what I consider to be a NaNo “win”:

  • Your very best = a NaNo win
  • Achieving your goal numbers = a NaNo win (ex: my goal this month is 25K, not 50K)
  • Finishing a project = a NaNo win
  • Forming new and amazing writing habits = a NaNo win

I think people get twitchy about some things that don’t matter during the month of November. You’ve seen this cartoon from InkyGirl, right?

NaNo should be fun.

The only word count that matters is YOURS.

Oh, you want a roadmap? Here’s Kristen Lamb’s 8 Elements to Nailing Your Plot & Owning NaNoWriMo.

And if you MUST “Go 50K or Bust”… Behold the NaNo Team’s Tips for Successful WriMos…

Overview of the things we wish we had known for our first NaNoWriMo:

1. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing. Really. You’ve read a lot of novels, so you’re completely up to the challenge of writing one.

2. If you feel more comfortable outlining your story ahead of time, do it! But it’s also fine to just wing it.

3. Write every day, and a book-worthy story will appear, even if you’re not sure what that story might be right now.

4. Do not edit as you go. Editing is for December and beyond. Think of November as an experiment in pure output.

5. Even if it’s hard at first, leave ugly prose and poorly written passages on the page to be cleaned up later. Your inner editor will be very grumpy about this, but your inner editor is a nitpicky jerk who foolishly believes that it is possible to write a brilliant first draft if you write it slowly enough. It isn’t.

6. Every book you’ve ever loved started out as a beautifully flawed first draft. In November, embrace imperfection and see where it takes you.

7. Tell everyone you know that you’re writing a novel in November. This will pay big dividends in Week Two, when the only thing keeping you from quitting is the fear of looking pathetic in front of all the people who’ve had to hear about your novel for the past month.

8. Seriously. The looming specter of personal humiliation is a very reliable muse.

9. There will be times you’ll want to quit during November. This is okay. Everyone who wins NaNoWriMo wanted to quit at some point in November. Stick it out. See it through.

Above are the NaNo team’s words. They have them squinched together into just a few tips, but I spread it out. All this wisdom needs to be heard. (Find MANY years of pep talks here.)

Now, for my “Jenny” wisdom…

10. Wherever you are on your writing journey, DON’T STOP.

The best is always yet to come because we keep improving the more we do it. I heard Linda Howard speak at a writer’s conference in San Diego some years back and I’ve never forgotten her words, which meant so much to me.

“Everybody dreams,” she said. “But writers are special because they write down their dreams.

“As writers, we can do anything and be anyone. You can be astronauts or spies or time travelers. Writers can go to amazing places and build imaginary worlds for others to visit.

“The sad fact is that no matter how hard you try, the music and the magic of your dreams will never be equaled by the words you put on a page.

“Do it anyway.”

There is no “perfect moment” so stop waiting for it. Even on those days when you feel that all is lost, when you wonder why you ever believed that YOUR words were important, keep at it.

Do it because you have to. Do it because you need to. Do it because the act of sharing those words is more than most people will ever attempt.

DON’T STOP. Your story is calling you.

Do you participate in writing challenges? Do you do NaNoWriMo? For my WriMo pals, what do you do in advance of November to get ready? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!


Posted in NaNoWriMo, Writing Challenge | Tagged , , , , , | 45 Comments

An Open Letter to Playboy Magazine

Dear Playboy Magazine,

For years your brown paper packaging, in the mail or behind the counter at the mini-marts, spoke of entertaining secrets. You starred in fantasies for men, both old and young, for more than 60 years. How could you not succeed when your inaugural issue featured the effervescent Marilyn Monroe and a now-famous story by Ray Bradbury?

Alas, along came the internet to beat your time and steal your marketshare…

With its plethora of free porn and never-ending nudity, the World Wide Web has decreased your circulation from more than 5 million to 800 thousand. You went from being the #1 stocking stuffer to fighting with Penthouse for shelf space. I get it, Playboy, I really do.

Since you’ve announced that Playboy is a nudie mag no more after March, it’s time for a new gimmick. Now people really are reading it for its articles.

Many have suggested alternating clothing types on your now-covered models, but you’ve already tried that. You’ve already tried a decade of lingerie issueshoodies (perhaps a nice “Sweater Issue” this winter?) and a shoe store. Obviously, none of these have saved your magazine.

[p.s. Did you know your Biker Babes issue is selling on Amazon for $3.75 + shipping?]

Over wine with my man, we brainstormed possible “issues of interest” that might speak to various sectors of the American public.

Perhaps the tin foil series…

Playboy magazine

Very popular at certain alien watcher conventions. Photo credit – John Allspaw

Or the glad wrap series, the anime series or the environmental series (featuring outfits made from “found objects”). Nothing is more attractive than a beautiful model wearing only RedBull cans and an Oreos wrapper, right?

Further brainstorming revealed a huge untapped source. We think you really need an Undie series. By the end of the evening, we determined you might even want to create undie/wine pairings. (You could totally penetrate the wine market with this, if you know what I mean.)

However, people can be wildly entertained by underpants alone – just ask the readers here at More Cowbell.

Photo source - Etsy

Photo source – Etsy

You could feature swashbuckling book reviews and all manner of knitted naughty bits. Heck, you could partner up with Etsy knitters (see my favorite Lithuanian grandma and the KnittyKitty). You get an endless array of designs and support small business at the same time. It’s a win-win.

Photo credit: KnittyKitty - Etsy

Note: Even though Mio Destino’s set of golf-related undergarments was an advertising spoof, I’m sure y’all can get hold of a demo model.

[Dang it, I had plans to surprise my man on the back nine…]

Mio Destino

Thank you for your consideration. I really think the Undie Plan could bump that circulation up over a million in no time.

Respectfully yours,

What say you, my posse? Do you think Playboy needs to move to themed issues? Throw out some ideas for the editors! Enquiring minds ALWAYS want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Other Sources:
9 Things You Might Not Have Known About ‘Playboy’
11 Pieces of Ludicrous Lingerie and Unbelievable Underwear
12 Things You Didn’t Know About Playboy
Requiem for a Centerfold
John Allspaw photo – CC License 2.0Flickr

Brainstorming assistance came from my darling Hubs, and Piper Bayard of Bayard & Holmes. She’s running for President you know…read about her platform!

Posted in Humor, Undie Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , | 31 Comments

Ninja Artists “Pantsing” the Flagpole in Prague

I knew I liked those Czechs. This post is a how-to guide on dropping a political F-bomb with style. Basically, a group of artists said, “Mr. President (Milos Zeman), you have pissed us off. Here are some ginormous red boxers for you. In your face!”

Did you see that video? With the three creeping chimney sweeps running a prank that screams of high school toilet paper parties? It’s hilarious.

** All three people were detained over the swapping of this flag **

Yes, I know they were technically “desecrating public property.” But it’s not like they graffitti’d or defaced the flag. They just decided their president didn’t warrant the dignity of a flag over Prague Castle – instead he got UNDERPANTS.

No words even needed to be spoken.

Note: These are size XXXXXXXL, right? (Photo credit: AFP – via BBC.com)

Castle Prague, Undies

According to the BBC:

A Czech art group has replaced the flag flying above the presidential palace with a huge pair of underpants in protest against President Milos Zeman.

Three men clambered onto the roof of the the official building dressed as chimney sweeps on Saturday. They have since been arrested.

The Ztohoven group said the new flag was for “a man who is not ashamed of anything”.

Think of this amazing trend… What kind of undie hijinks could protesting artists get up to across the globe? And how did they find boxers in this size?? We need the name of that vendor.

Which world leader do you think deserves to have their flagpole “pantsed” (if you know what I mean…) What kind of undies would send the proper message? (I vote for Scratch and Sniff.) We’ve had a plethora to choose from, right? Enquiring minds need to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Happy Monday, y’all.
~ Jenny

Posted in Humor, Undie Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , | 16 Comments

The More Cowbell Tour Rocked the U.S.

I’ve always wanted to get to use “The More Cowbell Tour” in a sentence. Thanks to the summer roadtrip and my extraordinary friends and readers, 2015 was the year! Sadly, I didn’t make it to the East Coast or the Deep South. However, I had so much fun, I know I’ll be doing this again. :-)

The More Cowbell Tour spanned 29 days and 15 states. It was wild and memorable and fun. And tiring. The back half of the summer slipped away from me. But the Little Bean started kindergarten last week and I am BAA-A-A-CK.

Wasn't she JUST born?

Wasn’t she JUST born?

I missed you guys!! And I’ve been having to sit on amazing tidbits like Orlando Bloom’s underwear habits for days. It’s just not right.

The More Cowbell Tour 2015 Map

More Cowbell Road Trip

Basically, I did a big oval across our fine country. We missed Iowa and Nebraska, but touched most of the rest of the middle somewhere. Just imagine my little Honda following (approximately) that black line.

And, from Minneapolis on, this was a mother/daughter trip. She did great – that girl can travel. Much better than Mommy. Did I mention I hate driving?

Summer Road Trip

However, I love my family and my kid saw about 80% of her immediate relatives on this trip. After last summer of all hip rehab-all the time, I was overdue to see my family.

Plus, we got to ride the party bus with a bunch of Hubby’s family during his family reunion. This thing had strobe lights and a privy. It was radical.

(And yes, that’s my hair flying out the window on the right.)

Family Road Trip

Here are a few of the highlights:

Getting the chance to visit with so many of my online pals LIVE was seriously amazing! I’m saving more pics for a future post, but here are a few.

Hanging with my pal, Piper Bayard, in Colorado.

Hanging with my pal, Piper Bayard, in Colorado.

Piper Bayard and Margie Lawson were the only two I was able to see in the early part of the trip. And Colorado was soooo beautiful.

My little one adored Margie’s granddaughter, Scout, and (once we got her over the “bitching about bugs” part) she loved hiking on Margie’s mountain.

Family Road Trip

Piano Girls: Margie Lawson’s granddaughter and my Little Bean

Jess Witkins holding my South Dakota prize, "Confidential Chats with Girls."

Jess Witkins holding my South Dakota prize, “Confidential Chats with Girls.”

I was only able to spend an hour with the effervescent Jess Witkins, but she fed me for the entire rest of the road trip. She’s so much fun!

Important question: How come I didn’t know cheese curds existed before? OMG.

WANA Road Trip

My wonder twin, Gene Lempp, who was kind enough to make time for me when I swung through his state.

My gal LOVED Gene Lempp and his wife. Not only did she commune with his cat, she treated him to an entire dance Frozen dance recital, which gave me a chance to catch up with my Wonder Twin.

We have been ROW80 buddies and partners in crime across the interwebz for four years, but finally I got to give him a hug! I’m hoping he gets back to blogging soon.

There was much much more, but I’ll stop for now. I have an Undie Chronicle and a post on the Bag Whore in the hopper, to help make up for taking the summer off. I didn’t necessarily plan it that way, but it ended up being a family-first kind of summer.

I have missed y’all dreadfully. What was the most amazing thing you did this summer? What is on deck for the Fall? Which section of the country should I pick for the next More Cowbell Tour?

~ Jenny

Posted in Blogging, More Cowbell | Tagged , , , , | 40 Comments

Hubby’s Jewels Threatened by Doctor With Tuna…


Bluefin Tuna photo from Pixabay

I swear to God, that’s the headline at our house this week. (And yes, I’ll explain.) The last time we talked this much about the Hubby’s junk was October of 2011 when the Thunderwear discussion erupted.

For those of you who missed the Thunderwear talk, and are too sleepy to click that link, it went like this:

On a long-ago October Monday (in Volume 2 of the Undie Chronicles) I mentioned the Thunderwear my honey was lusting after. Some of the More Cowbell posse had me in stitches because they thought Thunderwear referenced those bottom-of-the-drawer undies that have seen better days.

*clutching sides giggling all over again*

Thunderwear is actually a concealed carry gun holster that fits over the top of a dude’s “junk.” Swear.

When I was writing Volume 2, I asked my guy what kind of underwear would get him excited, he answered “Thunderwear.”

[Of course I had to look it up to figure out what he was talking about.]

Imagine this INSIDE the pants, shorts, etc. Does this look cozy to you?

Do you see that gun aiming right at this man’s family jewels.

When I mentioned that to my husband, he said, “You know, technically we’re done having kids so they can’t be called ‘the family jewels’ anymore.”

Me: Okay fine, we’ll just call them “MY jewels,” and agree that I’d like to keep you from shooting them OFF.

Hubby: You don’t actually aim at your junk. You position the gun at 11 o’clock. (This is accompanied by him pointing, showing me that his belt buckle is at 6 o’clock and his jewels were at high noon.) If in doubt, be sure to reference the photo.

Me: Oh, so you can accidentally shoot yourself in the femoral artery and die in 10 minutes? Yeah, I’m really embracing this Thunderwear idea.

Hubby: I’ve never heard of anyone shooting their rocks off, but it does give a whole new meaning to “blow job,” doesn’t it?

Me: *cracking up* Good one, Honey. You are sooooo bloggable.

[In case, you’d like to see Thunderwear in action, I’ve included a video. This guy kills me because he is SO SERIOUS. Plus he says, “If you know what I mean” in the perfect spot.]

Anyway, that’s the last time we had any major discussions about my man’s junk. But this Wednesday, he’s having an outpatient surgery called “the TUNA” where they get all loosey-goosey with some needles up his junk.

[And yes, I obtained permission before writing this post.]

The Mayo Clinic describes the procedure like this:

During TUNA, a specially adapted visual instrument (cystoscope) is inserted through your urethra. Using the cystoscope, your doctor guides a pair of tiny needles into the prostate tissue that is pressing on the urethra. Then radio waves are passed through the needles to create scar tissue.

Doesn’t that sound so pretty? Like he’s going to have kicky show tunes floating out of his crotch or something?

Um, no. No, that’s not the way it goes down (or I guess I should say up) at all.

They use those needles to burn up the prostate and make it contract, and then they make him wear a catheter for several days “in case of swelling.”

Insert Jenny Thought Bubble:
They’re basically gonna light part of my dude’s jewels on fire, and they think there MIGHT be swelling? I think the guys who write the copy for these sites are smoking crack.

Needless to say, I’ve had TONS of questions for the doctors, and the discussion of my guy’s junk has been copious this week, if you know what I mean.

Do you know anything I should know about the TUNA? Please give us some great jokes for this procedure – we need some new material. What’s on your mind this week (besides my guy’s junk)? Enquiring minds love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

Posted in Health, Humor | Tagged , , , , , | 39 Comments

My Week in Review — the Good, the Bad and the Cray-Cray

We just had one of the most bizarre weeks at my house.

It was Father’s Day, so that part was good. My guy is the BEST daddy and we took him out for great food and beach time.


Okay, she likes me too. :-) We were telling “daddy presents” secrets.

Mommy Brunch

And there was much dancing at the beach.

Dancing at the BeachDayOfHats

So where was the downside of the week? The work! The crazy work schedule that takes us away from the fun. And my guy’s company bought a company so they lopped off the back half of our vacation to bring him home. I am doing half of our painstakingly planned summer vacation without my husband. [Waaaaaaahhhhh!]

And all day Friday, I thought it was Thursday…

Oy. This week already looks to be more of the same. So I’ll leave you with a video to make you laugh. My week feels a lot like this text, and it’s only Tuesday.

[lobe you, y’all! I lobe you.]

Are you getting a Summer break? What are you doing with it? And does anyone on the More Cowbell posse live in Oklahoma? Enquiring minds need to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

For the writers who hang out here, if you haven’t been keeping up at Writers In The Storm, you are missing out! In the last week alone, we’ve had killer Scrivener Tips from Gwen Hernandez, groovy spy stuff from Bayard & Holmes, a great piece on novellas from Kait Nolan and the Paradox of Writing from the always thought-provoking Kathryn Craft.

Posted in Life's Challenges | Tagged , , , , | 20 Comments

Undie Chronicles, Vol. 29: Scratch N Sniff Undies

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listenI had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like to start the week with a good belly laugh.

I keep my ear to the undie-verse ground, in case anything interesting pops up, if you know what I mean. Several weeks ago, THIS article shows up: Charleville Home Hardware now stocks men’s underwear.

Of course, I want to scope out this hardware store, and also discover where the heck is Charleville, so I can send one of the posse in for a browse.

[Charleville is in Australia, y’all. In Queensland, on the east side of the continent, to be precise. In the county of Toowoomba. Are any members of the More Cowbell posse near Toowoomba? *bats pretty-please eyelashes*]

The article says:

After the closure of Target last year, the Charleville community began to wonder where they could buy the essentials – socks and jocks. 

A number of small businesses stepped up, bringing in new lines and increasing their supply to help the community, and now Home Hardware has done the same.

“We saw the Tradies undies at a trade show last month and thought it wasn’t a bad idea after Target shut down.”

My feverish little brain is looking up “tradies,” the whole time hoping they’re referring to “tradesmen” because undies are a private personal item that should not be traded. 

Lo and behold, there is a whole company dedicated to cladding the manly bits of Australia’s tradesmen. HUZZAH! I rushed off to explore Tradie Underwear and discovered a whole new undie-sphere.

[Not to worry, Ladies, they have Tradie Lady apparel as well.]

But back to the men…

These cats at Tradie have trunk types I’ve never even heard of: Fitted, Bound, Manfront, No Stink, and Big Pouch.

What kind of tradesmen are they breeding over there in Australia?

Perhaps “Down Under” refers to and area I’ve never considered…

Seriously, y’all, there are a plethora of man-trunk choices in Australia. I fear the Americans are sadly behind.

In exploring this new marketplace, I found all the aforementioned brands and much, much more. Finally, I scrolled down to the Limited Edition section, which just says “Coming Soon.” (Lucky bastards.)

Tradie Scratch N Sniff

Check it out. They’ve got UV Print, which sounds useful, and Bright Spark, which sounds super-festive. And…

Scratch N Sniff underpants? Are you kidding me?

I love my guy. I really, really do. But I don’t want to sniff around his underpants, not even with the “hot dog” or “rad pineapple” options.


You’ve gotta draw  your line in the sand somewhere, and I’m drawing mine in front of the Scratch N Sniff section.

Don’t get me wrong. I think the marketing team at Tradie are right up there with the folks at PooPourri. I give them full points for creative advertising and general naughtiness.

To give you an example, these are some recent Facebook updates:


(You know you’re clicking that link to Like their page.)

But I’m saying “NO” to the Sniffies. I won’t be importing those particular undies here to the West Coast.

What say you, friends? Would you buy or wear Scratch and Sniff underpants? Which Facebook update above is your favorite? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

p.s. It was a bang-up week over at Writers In the Storm last week. We had an eye-opening post from Les Edgerton on defining characters through action and an amazing post from Gwen Hernandez on the Top 10 Scrivener Features for Writers. Both these generous souls are answering questions.

Posted in Humor, Undie Chronicles | Tagged , , , , , | 27 Comments