Twitter has been blowing up this week over a Colorado Springs woman, dubbed The Mad Pooper, who is copping a squat on people’s front lawns. Now, as insane as that is, that’s not the funny part.
She’s been doing this for seven weeks and they haven’t caught her yet.
How do you poop on someone’s front lawn for seven weeks, with no one tackling you into the dew? She’s even on camera, with images from every angle and no one has stepped forward with a name.
How far did this lady have to travel to poo on these particular lawns? That’s what I want to know. If she lives in the same neighborhood, surely someone would have recognized her.
The tweets are hysterical. I’m always impressed with how creative people get in 140 characters. I’ve been laughing over this hashtag for 15 minutes…so of course I had to share it with my peeps.
Can we stop shaming the Mad Pooper of Colorado please?https://t.co/UbOxwC6VW0 pic.twitter.com/E1Aip5G4VJ
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 19, 2017
Hahahahhahahhahahahaa “Mad Pooper” is trending and I thought that episode of Bob’s Burgers was on!!! pic.twitter.com/pM6ucov7o1
— Somebody who tweets. (@LaDiva1245) September 19, 2017
When I found out the Mad Pooper is a woman… pic.twitter.com/NrRT3MvlOn
— Dad Jokes (@_DadLife) September 19, 2017
“The Mad Pooper” has been confronted mid-squat, but she’s still on the run https://t.co/xXagTPgwse
— New York Post (@nypost) September 19, 2017
And you know why this is even funnier to me? I have a jogging friend who went down in history with our set when she told us she’d had to take an emergency poo behind the bushes at the Baptist church in my mama’s home town. I can’t drive by that church without admiring their azaleas.
What are your thoughts on The Mad Pooper? Because, truly, enquiring minds want to know these things here at More Cowbell. 🙂
~ Jenny
p.s. For my writing peeps, I’m also over at Writers In The Storm today, talking about writing secrets from a television great, including insights into 3-act structure.
There’s gotta be a story here. The Mad Pooper is having an affair with the husband? The Mad Pooper was bullied in elementary school by the owner of the house? The Mad Pooper has fallen in love with house and hopes the owners will put it on the market? The Mad Pooper is in love with a policeman/woman and is hoping to get arrested by them? The Mad Pooper is going through a jogger gang initiation? Inquiring minds do want to know!!
LikeLiked by 4 people
jogger gang initiation!!! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right? I’m dying over that one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG, I am laughing my ass off, Jane!! Some of these same questions ran through my mind. But not the jogger gang initiation. That is a fresh and new juicy idea. Bahahahahaha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG, Jenny! My son sent me a news story about this yesterday. He lives in Colorado Springs. According to him, she’s “targeting” a specific yard, along with a walgreens and a church. They must be in her route… lol
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! I’m just shocked that she has THAT much poo in her. How many times can you squeeze one out on your run? *snort*
LikeLiked by 1 person
She must be on a high fiber diet… Bahahahahahaha
LikeLike
Also funny, I have a friend who used to do this occasionally! I wonder if it’s more of a thing than folks realize…
LikeLiked by 2 people
I had no idea (until I saw this hashtag) that it was a thing! I’ve peed outdoors but never #2. OMG….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right?? The friend I mentioned isn’t even a jogger. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahahahaha!
LikeLiked by 1 person
free fertiliazation 🙂 LMAO at your admiration of the azaleas!
LikeLiked by 1 person
As a gardener, I don’t think I’d want human fertilization. Just saying…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve heard that some marathon runners lose bowel control when they reach “the zone,” but this doesn’t sound like a case of that. Is it the same family she’s doing to it each time? I would start talking to the family’s neighbors… but I’m sure the cops have thought of that.
Maybe the woman self-identifies as a dog. Does she kick grass up over it when she’s done? I always wanted to invent exploding lawn fertilizer that blew up when a dog took a dump on my lawn, but I think I left out the occasional human crapper…
LikeLiked by 1 person
My relatives think she drives in, strips off the outer clothes, drops her presents and leaves. You see how much speculation can go on around this? NO ONE can figure out how this woman has not been caught.
But we died over your dog speculation, so thanks for that, John. 🙂 🙂 🙂
LikeLike
Obviously, I live a very sheltered life. We don’t have anything quite so fascinating in our neighborhood. Thanks for sharing but I’m upset that my work will be disrupted as I now follow the mystery closely. I just want to know who she is. That’s all I want. Find her so I won’t spend the next 7 weeks monitoring this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right, Rebecca?!! We’re all dying to know. And I have led a sheltered life too, because the closest thing I’ve ever heard to this was my jogging pal that ducked behind the bushes at 5 am that long-ago morning. THIS mad woman has been doing this for seven weeks.
LikeLike
Flights to and from DFW & Colorado are both exhausting & expensive, but SOMEone has to make sure we have fun news stories. You’re welcome.
Now…how do I set up a Go Fund Me account & what could I call it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hahahahaha! You don’t look a thing like the Mad Pooper, but I can certainly see you chasing her. LOLOL.
LikeLike
BTW, does this mean you are back in Texas????
LikeLike
Yup! I thought I sent you a text letting you know. Hope Bertha Higgenbotham (or, whoever got that text) was pleased with the news.
LikeLike
Well, that’s some serious shit right there. You’d think somebody would be able to sniff her out. Don’t her jogging clothes have evidence of her activities – or does she carry toilet paper with her? So bizarre.
Thanks for your journalistic efforts in keeping us all informed and up to date.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
LikeLiked by 1 person