Crazy Books, Part 9: Dinosaur Erotica

The More Cowbell Posse finds the most amazing stuff!! Today’s addition to the Crazy Books series comes from Juli Page Morgan. All I can say is “Wow!”

Seriously.

Photo from Jezebel.com

Photo from Jezebel.com

She sent me this link to an article on Jezebel called Dinosaur Erotica Exists and It’s Just as Amazing as You’d Imagine.

But here’s the thing…I never imagined anything like this.

When I’m thinking about Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Extremely-Hot, he’s a mammal. I just don’t do reptile, if you know what I mean. So imagine my surprise when I ran a search on Amazon and found out there are ELEVEN volumes of Dinosaur Erotica.

You coulda knocked me over with a Pterodactyl feather (if those flying lizards had them) [just go with me here].

So I start browsing titles:  Taken by the T-Rex. . . Running from the Raptor. . . Taken at the Dinosaur Museum. . . Taken by the Pterodactyl. . .Ravished by the Triceratops. . .

OK, I just couldn’t get any further.

The only thing that gave my naughty bits any kind of zing was Taken at the Dinosaur Museum. Because, hello? Archaelogists are HOT. The rest of those titles leave me as cold as any reptile.

That being said, this author has got to be a marketing genius.

There’s eleven of these babies, each less than 20 pages, and priced at $2.99. So far (that I know of) she’s been discussed on Jezebel, More Cowbell and several author loops. That’s serious word of mouth and dinero. My hat’s off to Christie Sims, even if I have no plans to hit up her books for a prehistoric beast booty call.

And the reviews? Holy Cowbell, THE REVIEWS. They rock!!

Here’s two from Taken by the T-Rex, just to give you a taste:

28 of 29 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars How to Write a Bestseller October 4, 2013
By Anastasia Beaverhausen VINE VOICE

Step 1: Find something that no one is having relations with, such as a dinosaur, centaur, or toaster oven.

Step 2: Write and publish a 17-page ebook featuring someone having relations with that thing.

Step 3: Profit!

******

34 of 38 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The apotheosis of literature, October 2, 2013
By Stacy Monahan Tucker (Seattle, WA)

If you have been searching for dinosaur-on-woman porn (and who hasn’t been?), your search has at last reached its end. Filling a literary niche that, incredibly, has been ignored until now, the author has recognized the public’s insatiable interest in dinosaur lust for the ladies. Human ladies. I look forward to the sequels that will undoubtedly chronicle their ongoing romance, their subsequent affairs and rocky issues in their relationship, and the fates of their dino-human children.

******

Stellar stuff, no?

Mind you, I still don’t think this tops previous Crazy Book entries like The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas or How To Live With a Huge Penis, but it’s definitely a worthy member of this category.

And now it’s your turn to sound off. I’m just dying to know what y’all think about this.

Had you ever heard of this particular erotica genre? Which title is your favorite? What do you think sparked this idea? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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39 Responses to Crazy Books, Part 9: Dinosaur Erotica

  1. Laura Drake says:

    Why am I ALWAYS behind the curve on a new genre? By the time I can figure out the sex scenes, the market will have moved on to Pringles can sex, or black hole sex, and I’ll miss them, too.
    Dammit!

    Like

    • KA-SNORT!

      Don’t even think about the Sex in the Produce Department sub-genre, Laura. DIBS!

      I read a Yahoo article about Sex Ed for Women in China. These pricey seminars include hands-on (or, in this case, mouth-on) practice of proper technique for fellatio using vegetables. They didn’t specify the vegetable. Yes, I browse Central Market now — searching for options.

      Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Laura, “black hole sex” has been done to death! But I think you might be onto something with this new Pringles can subgenre….

      LMAO!

      Like

  2. So many pressing questions about this genre, and I find myself wishing I had Beaverhausen somewhere in my family tree. I have a TOP SECRET plan to write erotica novellas under a pen name when (1) ALL INN is complete, and (2) I can play with Self and Discipline without getting hives.

    So far, the best I’ve got is Cadence O’Cock, but I’m not sure that passes the clever-yet-subtle litmus test.

    Yes, I will have to purchase one of these literary tomes. To discover how 5,000 words can be marketed as an eBook rather than Short Story on Steroids. Geesh! I’ll need at least 20,000 words.

    OFF TOPIC ALERT: There are two More Cowbell Chronicles written and scheduled, and at least three more in the works. I pushed back the posting date for the first because I committed to a guest blogger on Wednesday, and want nothing to interfere with the flow of More Cowbell Chronicles. I plan to get on a regular Tuesday blog post routine, and don’t want the Wednesday post to stomp on my More Cowbell. This concludes my Off-Topic Alert.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I was totally thinking “Beaverhausen” was a shoo-in erotica name. I leave it to you to think up something better.

      I cannot WAIT to see the More Cowbell Chronicles you have lined up. That cowbell will never be the same….🙂

      Like

  3. K.B. Owen says:

    “Pre-historic beast booty call” …you’re killing me, Jenny. And those reviews are a riot! Thanks for making my Monday! Now, off to the dentist…with Velociraptors and golden bikinis on my mind…

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Now how often can you say that?? “…with Velociraptors and golden bikinis” in the same sentence. That’s awesome giggly stuff, Kathy. Hope the dentist makes you nice and sparkly!!

      Like

  4. Jess Witkins says:

    Ok, I’m coming back to read this post in depth and click on every link, but I just saw it in my reader and had to say…

    OHMYGOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!! I want one! No, seriously, I need to at least SEE one of these books. I LOVE Jurassic Park and shows on dinosaurs, but I’ve NEVER imagined having sex with one. LOL I need one of these book just to laugh! Wow! I’m beyond excited for this ridiculously awesome/disgusting find! You just made my monday.

    Like

  5. Julie Glover says:

    I think it’s the book covers that are making me shudder. I wonder if those bikini-clad models had any idea whatsoever what scene would be placed behind them. How are they going to explain THAT to their kids one day? I can just see it now, as gold-swimsuit lady sits down to thumb through the children’s book HOW DO DINOSAURS SAY GOOD NIGHT? with her little one and says, “Mommy was on dinosaur book cover once. It was also about a dinosaur saying good night…kind of.”

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I am POSITIVE that those bikini clad stock photo models had no idea they’d be stalked by scales when they posed for those covers. That being said, your comment is making me laugh my guts out.🙂

      Like

    • Cate Russell-Cole says:

      It’s a change from accidentally posting your “personal” photos online Julie. I just hope they are making these sacrifices to pay for college – to get a degree in psychology to help that author. Fiction has strayed far from being able to suspend disbelief. This suspends ability to believe the author is not on hallucinogens.

      I guess that was a libellous comment. Oh well, we have no assets and are broke. Sue away…

      Like

  6. One of my friends was complaining this weekend that she had an idea, but then she thought it was too stupid to bother writing. To which I pointed out these books. These absolutely prove there are no stupid ideas, because you can profit on DinoPorn! I wish I’d thought of it😛

    Like

  7. I’m still wondering how the author came up with the idea in the first place. I can only surmise it happened during a Jurassic Park drinking game that got out of hand.

    And did y’all notice? That Velociraptor gets around. Same lizard is on the cover of two different books. I guess he’s the Fabio of the dino-porn world.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      “the Fabio of the dino-porn world.” <– LMAO!!!

      But I do believe you're right, Juli. It had to be the Jurassic Park category of Trivial Pursuit, played during a JP Movie Marathon with lots of green drinks.

      Like

  8. lauraloudon says:

    Ummm…What. The. F…? I’m blown away! Crap, that’s not good wording is it? All I can think of, besides there are some really freakin crazy fetishes out there that I’ve never even considered (and I once had a FBI class on fetishes), is that maybe the ribbed scales are the lure? Seriously! I had to really blow some major smoke from la cabeza for that one! Crap, now I feel dirty just coming up with that! I need a shower.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Laura, these books take a reptile fetish to a whole nother level! I hope your shower refreshed you. Perhaps you should wait a few days before clicking on the other Crazy Books links.🙂

      Like

  9. Hart says:

    *snort* Somebody shared these on Facebook today–what a crack up.

    Like

  10. Wow! And we all laughed when tree ent shifters (I’ll never look at maple syrup the same way again) were mentioned in all seriousness by an author at a readers convention. They would’ve had a field day with this.

    But hey, you’re right…everyone has their own kink.

    Like

  11. tomwisk says:

    Dinosaur erotica? No, but did click Vagina Coloring Book and Big Penis links. I figured if a male has the BP syndrome there will be a lot of volunteers of both sexes to “instruct”. As for coloring vaginas, those that I’ve seen seem to properly colored. I really never looked into it. Anyway most of the “V” shots are on porn and I’m not a fan. And that’s personal.

    Like

  12. Cate Russell-Cole says:

    This makes me want to get out my abnormal psychology textbooks and see where the author fits in. Toaster ovens are dangerous, but preferable. Why not stick with Indianna Jones, I mean, really, he’s a better breed of mammal.

    Like

  13. Oh Lord. Can’t say I have ever thought of this type of porn but I guess anything goes. The question is, do they use condoms?🙂

    Like

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  15. My sympathy is to the models

    Like

  16. Pingback: Dinosaur Erotica? All in the Name of Research | Jess Witkins' Happiness Project

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  18. 🙂 Self-published erotica does get a bit crazy with the titles. Ever heard of giant ground sloth erotica? http://monstertantra.com/monstertantra/slaking-the-giant-ground-sloth/

    Like

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