Crazy Books, Part 2: When OMG Measures Up To Its Acronym

large, male, genitalia

Photo from IndieGameMag.com

More Cowbell Monday is always about laughter. It’s just a rule around here that we start the week that way.

The ladies had their shiny moment on Friday with The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas. Yes, that’s a real book.  (p.s. I’m calling it the BCBOV for the rest of this post. The VaJayJay part is just too  distracting.)

Now it’s time for the men to have their moment of sparkly fun (IYKWIM). 

After all the comments on Friday’s post, I had to go check out the Amazon reviews on the BCBOV. I was shocked to see that “used copies” were available on Amazon for $207.95. That must have been some  coloring! 

Lo and behold, underneath the book pricing, it says:

At that point it was “Game ON” at the Hansen House.

It would have taken a stronger person than either Hubby or I to NOT click on the link for How To Live With a Huge Penis – Advice, Meditations and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much by Dr. Richard Jacob and Reverend Owen Thomas. I mean, we HAD to check it out…the book garnered four star reviews.

Note: Yes, this is still a “family blog” – we are simply being factual here.

THEN we read Amazon’s books description and found out the real meaning of OMG:

Book Description
Publication Date: February 1, 2009

men, OMG, large genitalia, sexIs Bigger Really Better?

Here at last is the first self-help book for men with Oversized Male Genitalia (OMG), a genetic birth defect that grows the penis to absurd proportions.

Every year, thousands of men are diagnosed with OMG. Sadly, most are banished to the fringes of society, victims of their own freakish length and girth. How to Live with a Huge Penis brings them an inspiring message of tolerance and hope—along with helpful information on

  • Unzipping: Coming Out to Your Friends and Family
  • Sharing Your Pain: Sexual Intercourse with a Huge Penis
  • Big Blessings: Unexpected Advantages of a Huge Penis
  • and much, much more

Complete with prayers (prayers??), poetry, a daily affirmations journal (Shut the front door!!), and thoughtful quotations from leading self-help experts, How to Live with a Huge Penis will inspire men of all shapes and sizes.

(Yep, our snickers started early in the book description and never stopped.)

There was no way I wasn’t going to share this with my posse here at More Cowbell. This is the blog about MORE, after all. And it seems that we’ve all been misusing the acronym, OMG, in a sad pitiful way.

Here’s a video to describe the book (and yes, it is quite suitable for work, as long as you don’t mind busting a gut laughing – the barbells were the final straw for me):


Had you heard of either of these two books before these posts? Are you torn between feeling sorry for the “OMG sufferers” and laughing your guts out (like me)? Are you scratching your head wondering what would possess a reverend to write a book about OMG? Enquiring minds always  want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
This entry was posted in Humor, More Cowbell and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

76 Responses to Crazy Books, Part 2: When OMG Measures Up To Its Acronym

  1. I only thought I’d had OMG experiences. Blame if on the early hour. Blame it on your read-more-of-me words. Blame it on your Aunt Bertha Higgenbotham. But, I was slow-to-the-snort on the stick figure gracing the cover of this tome. Must not let my pal, Pay, see this book.

    Too many books, and not a coffee table in the house. What was I thinking?

    Like

  2. LauraDrake says:

    Okay, since I too, have an enquiring mind, I HAD to look up the conversion from 20 cm to inches. That’s 7.87 inches, people. Now, I’m not getting graphic. And it may be TMI, but,
    really? That doesn’t seem so — oh, wait, is that “at rest?” If so, Wowza Mamajammas!

    So, who’s going to write the author and ask?
    I did my part.

    Like

  3. Reetta Raitanen says:

    This proves that there is a book for everything. The video is absolutely hilarious. I laughed out loud. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  4. Joanna Aislinn says:

    Sigh (and cringes). Have to go there with this one: I suppose if one writes the book the readers will come? I might just have to click on it too, just for fun, of course😉

    Like

  5. Julie Glover says:

    I. Have. No. Words. Speechless. (Mainly because it’s hard to talk and snort-laugh at the same time.)

    Like

  6. Stacy Green says:

    LMAO right now. I don’t even know what to say, but thanks for the laughs!

    Like

  7. Natalie Hartford's Hubby says:

    You’ve finally found it! I too am an author – my pen name is Dr. Richard Jacobs! – I’ve found that living with the Angry Bird over at nataliehartford.com (blogjack jenny) that mine only continues to get bigger as the pressure builds – bahahahahahaha

    Like

  8. I love the birds on the OMG! Does that mean his penis tweets? I bet it could. Heck, if it can lift weights, it can do anything!

    Am I the only one thinking, this is a problem how? Um, Porn Star! Does the book have photos, for you know, those of us who are word challenged? Graphics? Visuals? Lesson plans? A workbook at the end? This book definitely needs a coloring book work book companion. With vagina crayons. And yes, in all 64 colors. Fair is fair.

    Like

  9. emaginette says:

    You look like a woman with a mission now.🙂

    Like

  10. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ROFLMAO!!!! Seriously??!!
    I am dying here. That video. The stick figure. And the REVEREND co-authored it. Prayers, poetry and affirmations and quotes….O.M.G. shut UP!?!?! WAHAHAHA!!!
    There truly is a book for everything.
    I am with Laura, we need clarification at the sizing chart!! LOL!!!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Yep, that about sums up all our laughing points. Either these guys were messing around or they are serious. I can’t decide which avenue makes me laugh more.

      Like

  11. Wow. The things we never knew we never knew about! I wonder if the same tips can apply to other extra-large body parts. Did the reverend have this, um, disorder? I suddenly feel like watching the Ally McBeal episode with the nude art class…

    Like

  12. EllieAnn says:

    The picture. The PICTURE!! I’m dying here. The picture on the cover is just. so. hilarious.
    Great find, I’ll be laughing about this all day.

    Like

  13. ROFLMAO

    Yet another Austin Powers moment going through my head as I picture Mini Me unzipping his pants and we hear a thud as you-know-what hits the floor :snicker:

    Like

  14. Elena Aitken says:

    Holy crap that’s hilarious! It was the birds…and the music that sent me over.

    Like

  15. Sherry Isaac says:

    KA-SNORT.

    I mean, oh, my. What a terrible affliction. I’m so glad there is help. Is there a self-help group these fellows can join, or at least, poke around in?

    So, how many men do you think will be tucking this volume under their arm and travelling the subway, trolling the bars, pushing their cart down the grocery aisle…

    In other words, this book could bring hope and help for men who are endowment-challenged as well.

    Like

  16. Natalie Hartford's Hubby says:

    I can just see it now! A large group of women (some of you to remain nameless – cause let’s face it we all know who you are) gathering outside the support group meetings -passing out you digits to every Tom, Dick and….LOL!

    Happy big game hunting ladies! Tickets for Tameri’s Wildlife Safari go on sale one week prior to monthly OMG support meetings!

    Like

  17. Melinda says:

    OMG…er, seriously OMG. Stick figures have a whole new meaning now. Is this for real? That’s real book, meant to be taken seriously? Really???? Does it mention a lucrative career in the porn industry as one of the “blessings”?

    I lost it at “unzipping…coming out to friends and family” because the mental picture was…

    *snort*

    Like

  18. I’m not telling. Anything.

    Like

  19. Cristin Harber says:

    You kill me with these posts! And again I had to check out the comments. They were good, but not as good as if you click on the “surprise me” link to see a couple of random pages in the book. OMG indeed.

    Helpful hint: don’t forget to put sunscreen on it b/c “a heavily sunned penis looks like an old cowboy boot.” Oh wait, there’s more. A man was interviewed about his penile reduction surgery. “I have a tiny penis and no one can take that away from me. The scar tissue is like a ribbed condom.”

    I have no words. Thank you Jenny and Amazon “Surprise Me!”.

    Like

  20. Emma says:

    What’s with the porno music in the video?🙂 I’m torn. Laughing but feeling a tad bad for the guys with this problem.

    Like

  21. tomwisk says:

    Not a word from me except; Why isn’t this a gazillion copy bestseller with all those middle-aged guys who suffer from the curse of a large appendage?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I know, right? They say there are “thousands of sufferers…I’ve only heard about like ONE in my lifetime, and women talk. That’s all I’m sayin…

      Like

  22. K.B. Owen says:

    ROFL, Jenny! *catching breath* Ah, that’s better. I’m wondering, if this OMG condition is part of a “package.” As in, “twig-and-berries”? (Raelyn’s Austin Powers reference is staying with me, LOL). Maybe the poor guy also has some wicked-size bocce balls in his shorts, too? If so, he’d better pray hard and long! LOL, I crack myself up!

    You and Natalie are corrupting me; first I’m talking about orange pee on her site today, and now bocce balls on yours! OMG! (oops, did it again!)

    It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.😀

    Like

  23. I have tears streaming down my face. There’s hope for authors everywhere!

    Like

  24. This is sold in Texas under the title “A Life Most Ordinary.”

    Good laugh Jenny. What worries me most is that there are used copies available. I mean, can you be cure of this problem?

    Cheers!

    Like

  25. Ah yes,the truth will out🙂

    Cheers!

    Like

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  27. “OMG” will never be quite the same again … somehow a snort will have to accompany those letters forevermore! I decided to read the comments (always cleverly entertaining) before I watched the video. I’ve wiped my eyes, called my husband over to the computer and … here we go … kowabunga … better yet, to quote LauraDrake, “Wowza Mamajammas”!
    I just need to ask one question- How did you find this before Natalie did???

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Nat and I exist on a continuum where the universe throws us an equal number of “BAHAHAHA’s” ~ It was just my turn.🙂

      The comments to this post slayed me too, Patricia. They were absolutely stellar.

      Like

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  31. OMG! I’m laughing my guts out.

    Like

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