Undie Chronicles, Vol 25: Are Girdles for Men Called Mirdles?

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen

I had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh. Our pal, Kitt Crescendo, put this gem on my Facebook page yesterday and I’ve been having fits over it ever since.

Man girdle (mirdle)? And why do his undies look like a pouch/pocket or maybe a downward facing rocket?

Here is the photo in question so y’all can see that downward-facing rocket for yourselves.

Mirdle by Kitt Crescendo
Is that a hunk of burning love, or what? (Don’t answer that.)

If that’s not a contraption to inspire lust, I don’t know what is. (Okay, you please do answer that one.)

But seriously, this is right up here with butt implants for me. It’s false advertising.

If I’m going to make the effort to rip off them clothes to get to your goods, they ought to at least be the goods I saw from the outside. And this guy’s chest is hot. With a chest like that, who gives a rip if he’s got a belly?

I know this is a bit hypocritical coming from a blonde gal who darkens her eyelashes with mascara, but at least in that case, the lashes are clearly visible.

Not so with this Mirdle.

And $3.49 was a ton of money back then, considering you could get a piece of candy for a penny. This guy is trying to sell some candy he doesn’t even have, if you know what I mean.

But do you know what had me rolling in the aisles over this ad? That little box at the bottom that says “Try 10 Days Free.”

What, like a man is going to just slip on into this, sweat it up and jiggle his junk…and then give it back? Who would want it back? There could be re-conditioned, “not-so-gently used” mirdles running around all over the place.

*shudders*

Y’all know I had to go look up Man Girdles to see what the latest and greatest apparatus (apparati?) are. I found the Underworks Zip-N-Trim Support Brief Girdle for Men with 8-inch Powerband for $36.99.

Pictures of this thing-a-ma-jiggy assure me that it gives Spanx a serious run for the money. Not only that but it’s MUCH easier to get in and out of. Hmmmm…if only I needed the pouch, I be throwing out those Spanx I use every three years.

Zip-N-Trim customers also spent scads of money on these other gut-sucking items:

Amazon Mirdles

I had no idea there was such a market for this!

Here was how the gals weighed in on Facebook:

Kitt: A man so lacking in confidence that he’d feel he needed a mirdle is probably not my ideal… However, if this is some sort of support for a back injury, maybe.

Patricia: Kitt I was thinking the same thing. That looks like it would really help with folks who slouch. I could use that back brace to help me sit up straight.

Kitt: Corsets are actually great for that and can be quite fun to wear.

I tell you, these ladies entertained me all afternoon, between the original mirdle ad and the chatting. Alas, I was out on a boat with other people, and therefore unchattable. (I’m plenty available to chat today!)

Have you ever tried on a girdle, male or female? What was your experience? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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31 Responses to Undie Chronicles, Vol 25: Are Girdles for Men Called Mirdles?

  1. K.B. Owen says:

    ROFL, love it! What a bargain: “Only $3.49 WITH crotchpiece!” Like you’re going to leave that part off or something?

    And what a testimonial…”Trousers now look good and fit SWELL.” Who knew they were punsters back then?😉

    Thanks for the Monday chuckles, Jenny! And nice to see you getting back to blogging.❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. davidprosser says:

    I bought a reinforced vest from China via ebay that was meant to hold in my tummy. It screamed when I put it on ( which is an art form in itself ). Ah well, at least I don’t have to buy smaller trousers.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      “It screamed when I put it on.” Heh! I’d have loved to be a fly on the wall for that. And am I the only one who takes advantage of the “belly band” for not having to buy new pants?? (Available at Target for pregnant ladies – they rock.)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. ericjbaker says:

    Oh dear. Just cut back on the oreos. That’s what I’m doing.

    They things are ultimately bad for the because they further weaken the muscles. A good walk does wonders for the waistline and the back pain.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      After a morning of PT, “Just cut back on the oreos” was hysterical to me. (I’m not sure why, but it is.) And I agree with you on walking, plus stretching, but sit-ups. There’s nothing like some core strength to improve your back.🙂

      Like

  4. Julie Glover says:

    Why do you do this to me?! I take a little editing break, and next thing I know, I’m googling “man corset” and finding a store that has a whole section of options. *headdesk* Not that I want one of those! I just had to see if they existed. Because this “mirdle” thing seemed too far gone…until I discovered that some can go even further. There really isn’t a limit, is there?

    *crawling back into my ignorance-is-bliss existence* LOL.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I was hoping you’d blog about this! And totally eavesdropped on your and Kitt’s Facebook conversation.🙂 I’ve never tried a girdle. Do they make them out of chocolate? Hmm…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Jane Sadek says:

    You’re tearing me up here Jenny. Mirdle, girdle, schmirdle – those things ought to be illegal!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m thinking I might try the mirdle, especially if it’s got an 8-inch power band. Now I have no idea what an 8 inch power band is, but if it’s 8 whole inches it might be worth checking into IYKWIM. As I mentioned on Kitt’s FB post, I’m thinking this little beauty might just improve my posture. And God only knows what uses I could find for that 8-inch thing.

    Thanks for keeping us updated on the goings on in the undie world.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Liked by 1 person

  8. HYSTERICAL! And, no – I know no men who wear a corset. Seems like it would be a lot of in-the-moment hassle.

    Me? You betcha! I’ve got half a drawer in my dresser filled with those gut-squishers. The problem? When fat is squished it has to go somewhere. Sadly it doesn’t move to fill the cups of my Victoria’s Secret perky uppers (IYKWIM).

    OH! OH! My laptop took a SECOND trip to the Geek Hospital and came back without Kaspersky. SO! I marched over to Best Buy and the Geek Squad fixed that problem for me. Then — when I didn’t get any blog notices this morning — I realized something they did disabled my blog notices.

    So, I’m looking for all of the ones I follow this evening.

    You were first up, Jenny! Still searching the email vs RSS registration. I’ll find it. Never fear.

    p.s. The Undie-Venture is written. Sending you an email tomorrow. Right after I throttle a Geekster.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      It seems like it would be a LOT of in-the-moment hassle, Gloria. Of course I asked my dude, “Would you wear a girdle?” And with no pause, he looked up from the document he was reading, said “No” and then kept reading. He slays me.

      Bring on the Undies, girlfriend! But keep in mind that I’m doing Immersion later this week, and so will be unavailable for several days.

      Like

      • You are going to L*O*V*E Immersion. The experience is amazing. Time spent with Margie…in the Rockies….with fellow writers. Sigh.

        I’m in no rush. You say when and I’ll schedule the sister post.

        Um…and, yes…I could have squeezed in a few more typos in my original response had I tried. Just so you know…

        Liked by 1 person

  9. John Holton says:

    Closest I’ve come to wearing a “mirdle” was compression socks. I need to get back to that, too…

    I learned from watching “CSI:” that during the Civil War, officers used to wear corsets. They took great pride in it, too. Very strange….

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Piper Bayard says:

    Such a deal! Wish I had been a fly on the wall in that ad man session. I will forever speak to women named Myrtle and think “mirdle.” The things I learn at More Cowbell!🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Oh hell no! No man girdles for this dude. It looks like a male chastity belt! These boys need to fly free and get some air! Commando!

    Like

  12. Vikingessa says:

    Just when I think I’ve seen it all. Quite aamused.

    It’s incomplete though, without The Bro to go with it! I’m sure it didn’t sell well w/o the suppose of the mansierre above😉

    Oh I miss Seinfeld.

    Like

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