Today’s “Triple D” post is a true Disastrous Dating Don’t, a single stop sign on the long dating highway for my pal, Clair (of the Tool-Tilting Cup of Coffee).
The above is a real warning label Clair created to give to her dates. Dating makes her so nervous that she becomes a hazard, to herself and others, and a note of warning seemed like a kind thing to do. She’s tried it out on one guy already.
A huge mistake or a brilliant move? I’ll leave that for you to decide (and will keep you informed about whether the warned guy asks for a follow-up date).
I’m compiling a list of disastrous dating stories from friends, family and fellow bloggers about their MOST embarrassing moments. Do you have any really good stories to add? It’s fine if the stories belong to your kids, your sister or your co-workers…as long as we get to hear them!
I’m going to take the best of the best from your comments, along with the others I’m collecting, and do a mash-up of them in next Friday’s dating blog. I’m soooo looking forward to reading about your tales of woe over the long weekend.
In the meantime, here’s a dating candidate who SHOULD come with a warning label:
Hope everyone has a wonderful Independence Day!!
Jenny
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
Sometimes the entire universe pulls together to give you a sign that you shouldn’t be dating someone.
Like the time I was having lunch with a guy and this conversation ensued:
“Jerry Springer is sitting behind you,” he said, motioning to a table over my shoulder.
“Very funny.”
“No, really.”
“I’m not turning around. I’m not falling for that.”
“Why would I lie? Why don’t you trust me?”
“Fine.”
I turned to look over my shoulder. And there he was. Jerry Springer. Lunching at Friday’s. In a state no where near his studio.
“I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” He acted hurt the rest of the meal.
If Jerry Springer shows up on your date, TRUST me. It is an omen of much worse things to come.
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This is fantastic, Amber! So tell me, is The Springer as unattractive off camera as he appears to be ON camera???
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He looks very much the same. I do have to say that he appeared to be polite to the waitstaff and people around him. 🙂
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I’ve been married for twelve years, so I can’t remember any really embarrassing stories. I’m sure I’ve blocked them all out. I do have a vague memory of trying to play pool and the ball careening off the table. It may or may not have busted my date’s beer bottle.
Your friend sounds hilarious, and I definitely want to hear how well her sign goes over!
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Stacy,
I think a lot of embarrassing early dating stories involve pool tables…I wonder if we could find a way to take a poll on this one…
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Oh, dear! Let’s see. There was this guy I actually went out with a couple of times in my early 20s. He was charming and normal for dates 1 and 2. Date 3 is when it got weird.
We had gone to a beer garden with some of his friends and then moved the drinking train onto a bar with some live music where we sang and danced all night. Quite fun. So, when he walked me home later on I pulled the old, “So…do you want to come up?” Oh yes, I was so Sex and the City back then. Anyway, he came up, we were sitting on the couch in my living room, kissing and stuff (not much stuff, mostly just kissing) and he starts laughing.
I said, “What’s so funny?” It’s disconcerting for someone to start laughing mid-kiss.
He said, “They’re eating broccoli.”
I said, “Excuse me?” Then I wondered if my breath smelled.
He said, “There are all these children. Sitting around THIS coffee table.” He made grand arm gestures over the coffee table. “They are sitting there and they are eating broccoli and it is so funny.”
So I said, “Um. Wow. Listen, I’m pretty tired.” And I escorted him out.
Then the next day he called me and acted like everything was totally normal. It was just bizarre. I didn’t go out with him again after that. I was just kind of disturbed, LOL.
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Probably, your poor guy was off his meds, Erin. Definitely a disconcerting date!
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Tell you what. That one minute and forty second video seemed to last an hour. If that dude said, “I know” one more time, I about ready to hunt him down and kick him.
I don’t really have any dating stories. I didn’t date a lot. I’ve do have this story, though…
One night, this really weird dude wanted to take me riding in his car. So we’re cruising around. (Note: I grew up in a small town where that was all there was to do–other than get pregnant or smoke dope.) Turns out the dude has a PA system hooked up to his car.
As we pass women he finds attractive, dude gets on the PA system and says, “Hey little girls.” When we pass a carload of jocks, he gets on the PA system and says, “Hey sports dudes.” When we pass a carload of old ladies…you get the picture.
He did ask me to marry him that night. Since I was about fifteen, I refused. Ahh, the fun of growing up.
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I’m noticing a car theme in these comments…
I dated a guy who used a PA on people in Los Angeles (in the 80’s) – we’re soooo lucky we never got shot. Still, the thought of “Hey little girls” and “Hey sports dudes” gave me a laugh…thanks, Catie!
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Ah, Jenny. The old, ‘tell me your most embarrassing moment’. If it’s embarrassing, why would I tell you? (But then I so would)
This wasn’t a date, but many many years ago, before I, once-single mother of four, met my husband, I was on my way to work. Also takes place in days before I had a car. I took bus to work, with a tight transfer that I had always managed to make.
On this particular day, I missed my second bus by seconds. Could have waited for the next one, but we had a new VIP of Finance starting that Monday, with a 9 am meet-the-new-boss breakfast meeting. Could not be late.
Hoped in cab. Driver is a grey-haired gentleman of about 110. It’s a relatively short drive but he is a chatty old bugger and very charming. He asks about my job, asks about my family, asks about my husband. I say I am divorced. Conversation moves to books and movies and weather. No big deal.
We arrive at my office and as I pull out a ten he says, ‘I really enjoyed talking with you.’ What can I say? A sweet, charming silver fox with no teeth drops me at the door to work with time to spare and honestly, I did enjoy our chat. I tell him I enjoyed it to.
Then he says, ‘I know I asked a lot of questions, but you seem like such a nice young lady, and I’ve been looking for a new wife.’
I gave him $10 for a $5.50 ride and did not wait for change.
That’s my personal best ‘date’ story. I have 2 humdingers that belong to other people, but don’t want to take up all the comment space. I will tell you one involves getting stuck to metal in the winter and the other, bondage gear. Let me know if you’re interested…
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Sherry,
I always interested in date stories – funniest weather date is the first date where the guy had to “pee” a girl off the car! It’s not everyone who can work a marriage interest in a short cab ride…congratulations!
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Aha, you have heard the girl stuck to the car he has to pee her off first date tale. I heard it on the radio–the kind of story that goes viral. Too funny!
For the record, I met my husband a few months after that cab ride. Not 110, and he has all of his teeth!
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LOL, yep…that date was about the funniest story I ever heard. i don’t think I could have married somebody who “peed” my frozen hiney off a bumper.
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We were just friends when he called to say he was in town and had been thinking about me.
In retrospect I should not have invited myself to peck at his salad plate, nor had a coughing fit when pepper from said salad hit the back of my throat, or let him blindly walk into an Arlo Guthrie concert without knowing who the artist was, or sang along with the hippies when Arlo did the ultimate folk song “Fools rush in”… he did not look back when I dropped him off at his hotel.
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LOL, Eden. Yeah…some people get really touchy about “plate protocol” – don’t even think about sharing with these types. 🙂
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Did my prom one count? Did you see my response in our #mywana email?
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Any date from you “counts,” Tiffany!
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Hi Jenny, I’m a colleague of Marcia Noren and she kindly pointed me to your blog. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been compiling some information about dating sites and internet dating because of the novel I wrote, which is mainly about internet dating. Anyway, I put myself in the shoes of my protagonist, whose name is Cat Ryan, and I’ve been digging out all sorts of info. If you want to see more, check out the blogs I recently posted.
Thank you for this blog post, I really enjoyed it.
Regards,
Sylvia Massara
Novelist and host of The Lit Chick Show
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Hi Sylvia!
Any friend of Marcia is a friend of mine. It’s lovely to see you here. Your Cat Ryan sounds like a hoot!
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Hi Jenny,
Yes, Cat Ryan’s a busy girl; always uncovering Nigerians or time wasters. I wish she’d been around when I met my ex-husband through internet dating 7 years ago. Today, 4th of July, would have been our 5th wedding anniversary. In restrospect, I should have seen all the signs of a user, serial date, cheat and a liar. Aaaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!! I wish I’d known Cat Ryan then 😦
Great to meet you and great blog!
Cheers,
Sylvia Massara
Novelist and host of The Lit Chick Show
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I love the warning label. It’s funny. 🙂
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LOL, thanks Marilag! I have funny friends…cause this story is allll true. 🙂
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