Undie Chronicles, Vol 34: Covert Adjustment Undies

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen. I had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh.

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it just so happens, I have found an enticing gift for you to spoil yourself or the man in your life. They’re branded as Eletrunks, but I call them “Covert Adjustment Undies.”

eletrunks-lifter-underwear-25035

[OMG, I about died over that Safety Tunnel. *wheezes* Okay, I’ve got this.]

Imagine being able to adjust the manly junk, without having to riffle around down there. Professional sports would be revolutionized!

And the marketing team for these things is fabulous. Maybe they’re not quite up at the high bar set by PooPourri’s marketing geniuses, but they’re pretty great. Their video, which went viral, has sage advice:

“Stop playing pocket pool.”
“Stop manhandling your manhood.”
“Elevate your lifestyle.”

All good things…all good things.

And they do all the great website stuff – explain their product, blog, capture leads, and seduce you to the Covert Adjustment Side of our great nation. [Plus, they’re made of natural fiber. In Brooklyn.]

eletrunks-marketing-statement

Everyone, meet Michael, the inventor of Eletrunks…and the gal I call the Sock Lady.

(Watch the video. You’ll see what mean. Eletrunks are an option for every gender.)

Thanks to articles in HuffPost, Mashable and DudeIWantThat.com, Eletrunks sold out over the holidays. BUT, anyone who pre-orders now will have their Pocketpool Cure the first week of February 6th for $28.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, people.

My favorite part of the DudeIWantThat article:

Though the above video [showing the Safety Tunnel in action] is slightly NSFW, Eletrunks are not a dirty or obscene pair of underwear. At all. The company’s demo of their functional, comfort-enhancing, package-adjusting Lifter cord just makes it look like some dude is puppeteering his balls into answering “Yes” to the question, “Should we find someone to get naked with later?” on a constant 3-second loop. Which may not be the most appropriate thing to watch on your 27″ monitor at work.

OMG… *runs to subscribe to DudeIWantThat*

I do have to offer one word of caution: Be sure your Eletrunks have an “S.” I went to Amazon to see if there were any deals to be had and lo and behold

eletrunk-the-elephant

Apparently Eletrunk the Elephant can hang out with your child’s Teacup Family. This adorable pachyderm is available for $24.95, and you don’t want to mix these orders up. I’m just sayin…

The Eletrunks Facebook page, in case you’d like to be part of Eletrunks Nation. There are photos, videos, etc. there for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Why or why not? Who do you think is the best market for these Covert Adjustment Undies? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

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About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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14 Responses to Undie Chronicles, Vol 34: Covert Adjustment Undies

  1. markbialczak says:

    Now that you have warned me of the marketing deluge that will follow if I click any links, Jenny, I shall remain totally and solely informed by your excellent Chronicles reporting. Ahem.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes…but are they flame retardant???

    Somehow…I don’t think “problems” readjusting himself is Michael’s problem. 😏😏😏

    When you’ve been married as long as we have, Valentine’s Day is just another opportunity for shenanigans! This years rules are 1) no gifts with handles, 2) no gifts from “As seen on TV”, 3) no gifts that will require dusting. The last one is a deal-breaker. 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Bahahaha – flame retardant. Did you ask that because of all the, erm, friction happening in those shorts? And as for your Valentine’s Day, shenanigans are always welcome. My Hubs has it easy, I’m all about the kisses and the cards. 🙂

      Like

  3. Why in God’s name was a woman demonstrating how these things work? Seriously? A woman? And underwear made out of wood? Um . . . okay.

    Hey, whatever floats your boat people. If these things keep you cool and well-adjusted, then by all means, wear them with pride.

    And, no, no Valentine’s gifts in this house. We rarely give each other gifts anymore even at Christmas or birthdays. So often we get/give something that is not liked or appreciated so we just stopped wasting our money. Dinner or a movie, something we both can enjoy, seem to be the way to go these days. Unless, my hubby goes all out and gets me a gift certificate for a massage – then by all means, gifts are appreciated.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You have to admit, Sock Lady had swagger. (Especially considering she was tossing around some fake equipment). She cracked me up. Like I said, their marketing is creative. And don’t we ALL want to be cool and well- adjusted?? 🙂

      Like

  4. I read this and thought to myself …. where does she find this stuff. Google new in underwear and landed at underwearexpert.com. :O There is an entire WORLD of undies I knew nothing about — c-thru, peek a boo, mesh, lace, — the pouch is only the beginning. *face palm* I need to get out more… or stay in more one or the other. lol Thanks for the laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Lisa, I DON’T find this stuff. People send it to me. It’s awesome. All the fun and none of the hard work. You are quite brave to have done that web query. Lord knows what kinds of ads will be in your sidebar now!

      And yes, I’ve been astonished and breathless with laughter at all the crazy things people wear under their clothes. Truly.

      It’s great to see you here!

      Like

  5. BatHubby says:

    Lol I cannot believe these undie chronicles are still kicking (up a notch that is)

    U rock it out as usual…these are not for me…I’m an old school ball scratching, rabbit ear adjusting, nut rubbing old fool! Lol!

    Old dog …no new tricks!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. awesome as usual, Jenny!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. aprildavila says:

    Hilarious. I just discovered your blog – and bookmarked it (I mean, with a post like this at the top of the feed, how could I not?). I’m not even sure what the undie chronicles are, but I’m totally on board.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL, you are our kind of gal, April! We love to laugh over here. Sometimes I’ll put up a thoughty post, but often it’s just to note the ridiculousness in the world…like Covert Adjustment Undies. 🙂

      Like

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