There are two sure things about any election year: Everyone has an opinion, and many of those opinions are going to get your panties in a wad. Today is the Iowa Caucus, so the American election cycle has officially begun. It’s also the Year of the Red Fire Monkey, so be prepared to see tons of people showing their @ss on the campaign trail.
But what if you “aren’t political” or you just don’t know what party you believe in? Me and my peeps have figured out a surefire way to at least determine the political leanings of your underpants.
Read on…I promise you will feel less conflicted. At the very least, you’ll get a new shopping list for your undie drawer, and the chance to vote on your favorites at the end of the post.
One of my pals, Julie Glover, and I were chatting online awhile back and the discussion circled around to underpants.
[That happens a lot around here. (See Undie Chronicles)]
Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Don’t you think the lack of material in the thong panty makes them Republican panties? It’s the whole “less is more” thing.
Julie: I thought Sister Myotis calls thongs “Democrat Panties.”
Me: She does. But I think the cotton kind that give you a lot more coverage should be the Democrat Panties. (I kind of go between those and Libertarian Panties myself.)
Julie: Libertarian should be “no holds barred.” Practically commando. Now you’ve got me wondering what Socialist panties could possibly be…
Me: Hug your body all over numbers…Socialist panties would definitely be Spanx.
Julie: Ah…
Me: We touch you EVERYWHERE.
Julie: ROFL.
Me: You think Commie Panties would be a boned corset with stays and all?
And so, a post was born…
Here are the panties by political persuasion **:
(In their order of governmental “coverage”)
**Please keep in mind that this is all for good fun and light-hearted discussion**
Libertarian Panty
Republican Panty
Democrat Panty
Random thought:
So perhaps the Blue Dog Democrats would be Cheekies…?
Socialist Panty
Communist Panty
Note: All photos for the Green Party were not suitable for work, if you know what I mean.
Y’all even get to vote today!
Now admit it, you just had a brief (possibly frightening) image of your favorite political candidate in their party underpants, didn’t you?
Do you have discussions like this on social media? What is your favorite photo from above? Don’t you think political discussions would be so much easier if we all just commented on our undies and left the rest alone? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!
Jenny
Photo credits
What a hoot! I think you’re onto something. Perhaps put a poster of this up at every polling station for the people who don’t bother to think about their vote before they arrive.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That would be EXCELLENT, Piper. I think it would give people a much better idea of what they’re voting for. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Cheekies for moi. 🙂 Thanks for the smiles, Jenny!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are quite welcome, Deb. Election years usually drive me crazy. People seem to lose their ever-loving minds for 6 months.
LikeLike
I so agree and dread all the political commercials and phone calls.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. Hatred and division come to your door, along with the posters. Bleh.
LikeLike
The Libertarian panties are “work appropriate” but the Green Party was not? Now I must see those!
Spandex for me thanks. I need to pack all I can into a tight space 🙂
Yes I do have conversations like that on social media. Perhaps that is why I rarely do more than “like” people’s posts.
Fun post Jenny, thanks for the laughs.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They were rather “fig-leafy,” Dolorah. This is a *family blog* you know. 🙂
LikeLike
LOL, Jenny! You crack me up! (No pun intended…) I’m going to be thinking about candidates and their underwear for the rest of the year, I just know it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Kit! It will probably be a welcome relief to thinking about their policies. 🙂
LikeLike
I’m already sick of the whole thing, so you’re right. Anything to take a break from the “serious” side of the election.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yep. It doesn’t take long for the mudslinging to get old. Both parties have been sucking wind for a while and I actually like that there’s some shake-up on both sides of the aisle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I may be unduly influenced by the person modeling the garment. Thus, I have done the ethical thing and not voted. I’m not a libertarian.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey, Eric, the vote is anonymous. You should still cast your vote. Perhaps your underpants are trying to tell you interesting things… LOLOLOLOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Wash me”?
LikeLiked by 1 person
ICK! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kidding. I wash them on the first of every other month, regardless of need.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jenny, I read your blog only for the articles, not for the pictures. *ahem* Yes. The articles.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Matt, I hear you! I read Men’s Health and Crossfit Journal for the EXACT same reasons. *fist bump* 😀
LikeLike
I did not vote per my politcal persuasion, I voted according to what I thought was the best representation of a political party.
You, me, and Julie need to get together in the same room and laugh our asses off about stuff. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?
Have a great week.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
LikeLiked by 1 person
We absolutely do, Patricia. I’ve met both of you live (and roomed with her at a Margie Lawson retreat) – and I can vouch for how insanely fun would that be. 😀 😀
LikeLike
That was awesome, Jenny! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m glad it translated well for my non-American pals! Thanks, Yvette. 🙂
LikeLike
Pingback: Spain. Wow. « Sierra Godfrey, Writer