There are two sure things about any election year: Everyone has an opinion, and many of those opinions are going to get your panties in a wad. Today is the Iowa Caucus, so the American election cycle has officially begun. It’s also the Year of the Red Fire Monkey, so be prepared to see tons of people showing their @ss on the campaign trail.
But what if you “aren’t political” or you just don’t know what party you believe in? Me and my peeps have figured out a surefire way to at least determine the political leanings of your underpants.
Read on…I promise you will feel less conflicted. At the very least, you’ll get a new shopping list for your undie drawer, and the chance to vote on your favorites at the end of the post.
One of my pals, Julie Glover, and I were chatting online awhile back and the discussion circled around to underpants.
[That happens a lot around here. (See Undie Chronicles)]
Our conversation went something like this:
Me: Don’t you think the lack of material in the thong panty makes them Republican panties? It’s the whole “less is more” thing.
Julie: I thought Sister Myotis calls thongs “Democrat Panties.”
Me: She does. But I think the cotton kind that give you a lot more coverage should be the Democrat Panties. (I kind of go between those and Libertarian Panties myself.)
Julie: Libertarian should be “no holds barred.” Practically commando. Now you’ve got me wondering what Socialist panties could possibly be…
Me: Hug your body all over numbers…Socialist panties would definitely be Spanx.
Me: We touch you EVERYWHERE.
Me: You think Commie Panties would be a boned corset with stays and all?
And so, a post was born…
Here are the panties by political persuasion **:
**Please keep in mind that this is all for good fun and light-hearted discussion**
(In their order of governmental “coverage”)
So perhaps the Blue Dog Democrats would be Cheekies…?
Note: All photos for the Green Party were not suitable for work, if you know what I mean.
Y’all even get to vote today!
Now admit it, you just had a brief (possibly frightening) image of your favorite political candidate in their party underpants, didn’t you?
Do you have discussions like this on social media? What is your favorite photo from above? Don’t you think political discussions would be so much easier if we all just commented on our undies and left the rest alone? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!