What Your Panties Say About Your Politics

There are two sure things about any election year: Everyone has an opinion, and many of those opinions are going to get your panties in a wad. Today is the Iowa Caucus, so the American election cycle has officially begun. It’s also the Year of the Red Fire Monkey, so be prepared to see tons of people showing their @ss on the campaign trail.

But what if you “aren’t political” or you just don’t know what party you believe in? Me and my peeps have figured out a surefire way to at least determine the political leanings of your underpants. 

Read on…I promise you will feel less conflicted. At the very least, you’ll get a new shopping list for your undie drawer, and the chance to vote on your favorites at the end of the post.

One of my pals, Julie Glover, and I were chatting online awhile back and the discussion circled around to underpants.

[That happens a lot around here. (See Undie Chronicles)]

Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Don’t you think the lack of material in the thong panty makes them Republican panties? It’s the whole “less is more” thing.

Julie: I thought Sister Myotis calls thongs “Democrat Panties.”

Me: She does. But I think the cotton kind that give you a lot more coverage should be the Democrat Panties. (I kind of go between those and Libertarian Panties myself.)

Julie: Libertarian should be “no holds barred.” Practically commando. Now you’ve got me wondering what Socialist panties could possibly be…

Me: Hug your body all over numbers…Socialist panties would definitely be Spanx.

Julie: Ah…

Me: We touch you EVERYWHERE.

Julie: ROFL.

Me: You think Commie Panties would be a boned corset with stays and all?

And so, a post was born…

Here are the panties by political persuasion **:
(In their order of governmental “coverage”)

**Please keep in mind that this is all for good fun and light-hearted discussion**

Libertarian Panty

Photo by: Oscar One from Sunrise, Florida, USA ~ (Bootleggers/Shooters - 187)

Republican Panty

Photo by GardenParty ~ licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Democrat Panty

Photo by By Iflwlou拍攝 (Own work) ~ Wikimedia Commons

Random thought:
So perhaps the Blue Dog Democrats would be Cheekies…?

Socialist Panty

From Freshpair: Spanx Power Panties with Tummy Control

Communist Panty

Photo by Valerie McGlinchey ~ Wikimedia commons ~ Whalebone, cotton, steel busk and back supports

Note: All photos for the Green Party were not suitable for work, if you know what I mean.

Y’all even get to vote today!

Now admit it, you just had a brief (possibly frightening) image of your favorite political candidate in their party underpants, didn’t you?

Do you have discussions like this on social media? What is your favorite photo from above? Don’t you think political discussions would be so much easier if we all just commented on our undies and left the rest alone? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!


Photo credits

Libertarian Panty: Oscar One from Sunrise, Florida, USA ~ (Bootleggers/Shooters – 187) ~ Wikimedia Commons
Republican Panty: GardenParty via the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license
Democrat Panty: By Iflwlou拍攝 (Own work) ~ Wikimedia Commons
Socialist Panty: From Freshpair – Spanx Power Panties with Tummy Control
Communist Panty: by Valerie McGlinchey ~ Wikimedia ~ Whalebone and cotton with steel busk and back supports – Late 19c

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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24 Responses to What Your Panties Say About Your Politics

  1. Piper Bayard says:

    What a hoot! I think you’re onto something. Perhaps put a poster of this up at every polling station for the people who don’t bother to think about their vote before they arrive.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Cheekies for moi. 🙂 Thanks for the smiles, Jenny!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. dolorah says:

    The Libertarian panties are “work appropriate” but the Green Party was not? Now I must see those!

    Spandex for me thanks. I need to pack all I can into a tight space 🙂

    Yes I do have conversations like that on social media. Perhaps that is why I rarely do more than “like” people’s posts.

    Fun post Jenny, thanks for the laughs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kit Dunsmore says:

    LOL, Jenny! You crack me up! (No pun intended…) I’m going to be thinking about candidates and their underwear for the rest of the year, I just know it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. ericjbaker says:

    I may be unduly influenced by the person modeling the garment. Thus, I have done the ethical thing and not voted. I’m not a libertarian.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Matt Bowes says:

    Jenny, I read your blog only for the articles, not for the pictures. *ahem* Yes. The articles.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I did not vote per my politcal persuasion, I voted according to what I thought was the best representation of a political party.

    You, me, and Julie need to get together in the same room and laugh our asses off about stuff. Wouldn’t that be a hoot?

    Have a great week.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      We absolutely do, Patricia. I’ve met both of you live (and roomed with her at a Margie Lawson retreat) – and I can vouch for how insanely fun would that be. 😀 😀


  8. yvettecarol says:

    That was awesome, Jenny! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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