3 Things You Can Be Thankful You Missed

The last few weeks have been wild. Here are the highlights – good, bad and downright naughty – just for you. Y’all know I try to spread the love here at More Cowbell.

Speaking of spreading the love, if you know what I mean, my pal Donna Newton recommended the most unique holiday gift: “Get your bum cast and turned into chocolates!” This is an actual thing, concocted by artist Simon Smith.

[I know, I couldn’t believe it either.]

As one lady commented, “I’ve run out of original and thought-provoking gift ideas, so here is a mould of my a**hole…”

I can pretty much give this gift item a windy pass. However, that never stops me from sharing the weird love with all of you. Knock yourselves out with them chocolate bums. Let me know how they’re received if you decide to add this booty to someone’s stocking.

Speaking of gifts, do you remember that amazing birthday massage I mentioned in the last post? It was incredible…at the time. Within two days it resulted in breath-stealing sciatica that knocked me flat. Literally. Ohmygod, how do people live like that??

Three acupuncture treatments later, I am definitely on the mend. But I’ve talked to people in the last few weeks who have suffered from sciatica for YEARS. Holy cowbell… That is just so wrong.

Toward the end of that sciatica mess, I was playing beauty parlor with my Little Bean. That’s where I do her hair while she plays with three pots of eyeshadow that I gave her. Her favorite (obviously!) is the blue.

So, I was – slowly – putting the blowdryer away. Remember, when you have sciatica, you do everything slow.

When I turned back around, my girlie had taken the makeup brush and was decorating her girly bits in that bright metallic blue you see to the right.

I’m sure all the parents reading have experienced that weird phenomenon where aliens take over your vocal chords and the damnedest things come flying out of your mouth.

In this case, it was: “Stop painting your vagina blue. We do not paint our vagina!”

I mean, I guess some people do. (If you are an avid vulva painter, I don’t mean to offend. Truly.) But she’s in kindergarten…it’s just a wee bit young for this sort thing.

The mothers at my day job have been rolling in the aisles over the body painting going on at my place. I’ve been doing a software rollout, and creating some websites – my good news is that those projects are almost finished. I am very thankful. You should be thankful that you’ve not been working on these projects with me – I’ve been a maniac.

I’m giving thanks today that I survived these last few weeks and that I have all my gluten free supplies waiting to be cooked for this week’s Thanksgiving meal. I even got a new bit of fabulous gluten free advice for French’s fried onions in my green been casserole. Use shallots!

What are you thankful for today? What is the weirdest thing you’ve told the kids in your life? What is your signature dish for the holidays? Enquiring minds love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny