Why Facebook Cracks Me Up

Posted on April 20, 2015 by Jenny Hansen

I get more blog ideas on Facebook than almost anywhere else on the web. Probably it’s because I have stellar friends, but I really think it’s the conversation.

Kitt Crescendo posted a photo to my page for the Undie Chronicles, only I don’t know if there’s enough yarn there to chronicle. It looks like a well-placed sneeze would’ve sent this guy’s junk into the blogosphere. This is a family blog (sort of), so I’m not going to show the photo – click here for that.

They’re charging $18.99 for this thing! That’s “low way” robbery, if you know what I mean…

Evidently I’m in the wrong line of work, because I’m a knitter and I could swear this was made out of no more than a dollar’s worth of yarn. Still, we had a tremendous time chatting about it.

My favorite comments:

  • Oh. Good. Gravy. How….I don’t even know what to say. He’s the shaven yak.
  • MY EYES….MY EYES…they are BURNING!!!!!!
  • I’m sorry, but that just makes me itch.
  • Having a hot flash!!!!!!!
  • What happens if he gets “excited”? I don’t think that yarn with stretch all that far.
  • It’s so small, you almost want to put a pink bow next to it and say “aww how cute…” words no man wants to hear about their junk

And finally, these two Buzzfeed videos.

I could get lost in BuzzFeed’s YouTube channel all day long, but the “Try Guys” are my favorite. They will try anything, even drag (as you can see below). Best quotes of the entire video:

  • All of the unrepeatables from these guys trying to tuck in their manly parts.
  • No “daughter” of mine is going to do drag in flats.

Oh, and the glue sticks. I had no idea drag queens were making such a run on glue sticks.

I don’t know about you, but I had a hard time deciding on my favorite queen. They were all so brazen and fearless. And Eugene, the Asian man, shaved more of his body than I do. I’m just sayin…

Here’s some misheard lyrics to round out your Monday:

The hubs does this all the time. His most notable is from Take It Easy by the Eagles: “I’m looking for a lover who won’t blow my brother. She’s so-oh hard to find…”

And Daven Anderson sings Elton John:

♫ “She’s got electric boobs,
and Moe has food.
You know I read it in a Pakistani novel,
B-B-B Bennie and the Jets.” ♫

What’s your favorite misheard lyric? Would you ever wear any of that crazy knitted underwear? Do you like drag shows? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Now I’m back to Writing Up a Storm over on Facebook!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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31 Responses to Why Facebook Cracks Me Up

  1. Jess Witkins says:
    April 20, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    I just watched this video last week. They did amazingly. I loved how supportive their parents were. I’ve done drag before and it’s a lot of time and work to do the make up and take on mannerisms and body language. I have so much respect for professional drag queens. And envy. Because most of them have better legs than I do.

    *insert Chi Chi Rodriguez meme here – “I got more legs than a bucket of chicken!”*

    I just went to the campus drag show this weekend cause I was tabling for work and one of my pals was hosting. The students did an amazing job! What stellar performers and the audience had a blast.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:
      April 20, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      I know! I thought they did way better at being female than I would do at being male. And their families and girlfriends were fantastic. Y’all know I’ve cross-dressed my guy for Halloween, but I cannot imagine him taping everything up the way these guys do. I was completely impressed. And I love drag shows. 🙂

      Like

  2. Kelly Byrne says:
    April 20, 2015 at 2:57 pm

    ‘Guess who tucked!’ This was hilarious (and a little painful to watch – those heels!), Jenny. These guys are up for anything. Love ’em! Thanks for my Monday giggles. Much appreciated. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:
      April 20, 2015 at 5:39 pm

      YES! And the other one who said, “I feel like I have a split-level house.” These guys really don’t get paid enough for this. And you’re welcome for your giggle. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Kelly Byrne says:
        April 20, 2015 at 6:32 pm

        OMG – the split-level had me rolling. So brilliant. And you’re right, they don’t get paid enough. But I’m glad they do what they do. Endlessly entertaining. Thanks for sharing the good times with us. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. yvettecarol says:
    April 20, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    I wouldn’t have known whether I liked a drag show or not if you’d asked me last year. But, luckily for me and my sadly lacking education, I managed to catch my first ever show. I can hardly even tell you how exciting it was. These ladies knew how to perform. My goodness, if women knew how to strut and put on the ritz like that, we’d take over the world!! The atmosphere was electric and they had the whole room jumping. Wouldn’t mind going back!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:
      April 20, 2015 at 5:41 pm

      They are exciting. I’ve been to several, and I have a few friends who routinely do drag. The mechanics of it all are amazing. There’s so much work that goes into making a man look like a woman. Of course, my friend Ray tried to get a little to acrobatic and fell off the stage, but besides that…

      Like

  4. Natalie Hartford says:
    April 20, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    OMG Awesomeness. I’d love to see Scott give that a whirl maybe as Bat Woman! ROFL!!!

    Liked by 4 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:
      April 20, 2015 at 5:42 pm

      Would Bat Hubby make the best drag queen, or what??!!! We could have him be Super Bat Bitch – he would make millions, if we’re basing it off his Icebucket Challenge acting. 🙂

      Like

  5. John Holton says:
    April 20, 2015 at 3:20 pm

    There are some things that, once seen, cannot be unseen. I think you found one of them.

    I have always been partial to the misheard lyrics from Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising”: “Don’t go out tonight, for it’s bound to take your life, THERE’S A BATHROOM ON THE RIGHT.”

    Liked by 4 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:
      April 20, 2015 at 5:43 pm

      John, it seems like tons of guys hear the “bathroom on the right!” That’s so funny!! I had no idea there were so many different ways to hear CCR. 🙂

      Like

  6. K.B. Owen says:
    April 20, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Fab post, Jenny! I love misheard lyrics, they are so fun! My fave is from “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” where Whoopie Goldberg is trying to decipher the lyrics to get the clue to this espionage ring….”Two black lesbians??…Mick…Mick…speak ENGLISH!!” 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:
      April 20, 2015 at 10:19 pm

      Kathy, I love Whoopi Goldberg, but I have never seen “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” Evidently I need to change that!! I would die over a scene like that. She’s been fantastic in every movie I’ve seen her in, but I love it when she’s funny. She stole the show in Ghost.

      Like

  7. Daven Anderson says:
    April 20, 2015 at 4:51 pm

    “Get your pants soiled on a weasel plain,
    know what’s really damned alive,”
    Misheard from Elton’s “Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting” 😈

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Kitt Crescendo says:
    April 20, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    Thanks for sharing my little fun moment on Facebook.
    As for the Drag shows… Love ’em. Was once kissed on the cheek by a Christina Aguilera alike. And my Bachelorette party happened in Boys town in Chicago where I was motorboated by a Tina Turner alike. Gotta love the sense of fun involved with drag. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. The Regular Guy NYC says:
    April 20, 2015 at 6:27 pm

    Facebook can be a strange land for sure, but there are some funny things to be found on it!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. amyskennedy says:
    April 20, 2015 at 8:40 pm

    I adore you so much. And, I can see part of his man bits in that picture of the crochet thingy!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. jansenschmidt says:
    April 21, 2015 at 1:12 pm

    Well alrighty then. That was . . . weird. I really don’t need to see another drag queen show (I’ve already seen a couple in Vegas). They do nothing for me.

    And those knitted . . . things . . . are indeed about a dime’s worth of yarn. And, yes, they did make for a hilarious day of commenting on Kitt’s FB post.

    Looking forward to the next installment of the undie chronicles.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:
      April 22, 2015 at 11:51 am

      I just found the next installment last night, Patricia. When my mouth drops open in shock, I know it’s “Chronicle-worthy.”

      I’ve been to a few drag shows in my time, and I’m always watching them perform and wondering where they put “the boys.” Now I know about “the tuck.” I can’t believe these guys duct taped their business. Crazy times.

      Like

  12. Constance says:
    April 23, 2015 at 6:45 pm

    HEY BABE, I COULD NOT GET ANYTHING TO WORK! SO SORRY1 CC >

    Liked by 1 person

  13. markbialczak says:
    April 27, 2015 at 11:35 am

    No on crochet down under, Jenny. Haven’t but nothing against the Drag Queen live show experience. My dear wife Karen always thought “Love the One Your With” soared on about the “rose in the dixie cup.” I told her about the fisted glove, but decided I liked dixie cup way better, too.

    Liked by 1 person

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