Undie Chronicles, Vol. 28b: End Undie Discrimination!

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listenI had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh.

This post is a follow-up to February’s Undie Chronicles post about the U.S. Patent and Trade Office thinking the American public is too puritanical to embrace the word, “ComfyBalls.” (See below.)

I call, “Foul!”

ComfyBalls - Immoral

You can click here if you want to add your vote (and I recommend you DO). The site is called Fight For Your Balls and, whether you’ve got ’em or not, this is about discrimination more than the actual “man sack.”

Why can Duluth Trading Company have “Ballroom Jeans” (which my guy says are super-cozy) here in the U.S. and this Norwegian company can’t sell ComfyBalls? Duluth can sell the “Crouch without the Ouch” slogan, but ComfyBalls has to sell in the U.S. with naming conventions like “McBalls.”


If you plan to fight this discriminatory practice, here’s a tweet from a ComfyBalls evangelist, Allan, showing you the hashtags for the cause.

Allan also says:

Another @ observation: their “RHT” (”reduced heat transfer”) is no BS; compared to my usual underwear, feel 10x less sweaty now.

[I don’t know that I want to know that much about what’s in Allan’s pants, but the internet is about sharing information, right?]

Besides spreading the “Undie Word,” y’all can go vote on alternate names for these Illegal Underpants!

ComfyBalls - Suggestion


There are tons of suggestions already at Fight For Your Balls. Here are the ones I split my sides over:

  • SackShack
  • Free Willy
  • E.Y.B. (Embrace Your Balls)
  • Great Balls of Fire
  • Cool Beans
  • ManHammocks
  • ScrotelMotel
  • Hot Rocks
  • ROAR

My opinion? They should just stick with the original (awesome!) name, or call it ComfyB*lls if they must be politically correct on this.

What is your opinion? Do you have a favorite “alternate name?” Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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24 Responses to Undie Chronicles, Vol. 28b: End Undie Discrimination!

  1. Julie Glover says:

    I’m sorry, but after seeing Buck Naked and PUMP! underwear, I really don’t see what the big deal is. I’m actually pretty reserved on the what’s-okay-in-public scale, and ComfyBalls wouldn’t bother me a bit. Having raised two sons and run a preschool at one point, believe me — boys call ’em “balls” before you have any idea where they learned it (and a whole bunch of other, more creative names). On the upside, this is probably getting the company a lot of free advertising!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Wow, PUMP! underwear? I learn the most interesting things… I had no idea that boys called ’em balls from the get-go.

      I don’t really see what all the fuss is about either – they’re underpants, US Government, not porn. Oh wait, y’all spend work time watching that… My bad.


  2. I love the original name, too! Thanks again for pointing the campaign out to me on Twitter. I signed their petition, then — and so relate to their trials. I had to fight pretty hard (pun embraced!) for my GB trademark. Fab post, Jenny!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I didn’t know you got so much flack over GirlBoner! And of course, if they approved that and Ballroom Jeans. what in the world is the problem with “ComfyBalls.” Small-minded people make such big problems for the rest of us…


  3. I’m thinking Free Willy might cause some confusion. As for another name… I need to remove my fingers from the keyboard now. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kelly Byrne says:

    I’m a fan of the original, but I also kinda love Cool Beans. Ha! That’s awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Our over-sharing evangelist, Allan, would agree with the “Cool Beans,” Kelly! These names are still cracking me up, now 3 weeks since I discovered the campaign. 🙂


  5. Kit Dunsmore says:

    “Free Willy” made me laugh, even though it’s not really an accurate synonym. Sometimes I think the government spends way too much time protecting us from nothing.

    On a related note: just saw a movie where the guys all dumped corn starch in their undies to cool off. (They were in Louisiana.) Wondering if anyone actually does this, if it really works, and if men with corn allergies can use baking soda as an alternative. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Now I’m wondering about the practice of corn-starch-in-the-pants. I’ve heard of baby powder, but never corn starch. You learn something new every day. I’d think any of those items would create a (GAK!) paste under the right conditions.

      I need to go scrub my brain now. *shudders*

      Liked by 1 person

  6. OMG – my husband loves the Duluth Trading Company commercials. I like Comfyballs and I think that’s a great name. The name speaks for itself, they don’t even need a catchy slogan. But, whatever.

    And speaking of other “cool” underwear options, check out handerpants. I’ve included them in my blog today for a bit of Monday silliness. (I tried to attach a photo in this comment, but I couldn’t figure out how to do that.)

    Anyway, always good fun over here at More Cowbell.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Liked by 1 person

  7. K.B. Owen says:

    I’m not a petition kind of gal, but it does seem un-American to censor a name like that…and as a mom of three boys, I can corroborate Julie’s assertion that they pick up that term plenty fast! 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL. I’m not a petition kind of gal either, but I did vote on whether “Balls were Immoral.” And it’s nice to know that, immoral or not, they are universally known by young boys. 🙂


  8. I’m enthralled with the alternate ‘ManHammocks.’ 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This country is way too conservative and puritanical for it’s own good. Balls should not be discriminated against!

    May I suggest “Gonad Girdle”?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. markbialczak says:

    Alternate name, Jenny: Rock Garden.

    Thank you for your endless passion for life, liberty and the pursuit of ComfyBalls. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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