Don’t get me wrong, I love social media…I meet fabulous people and strike up amazing conversations. However, I’m so grateful I grew up before Facebook and YouTube, before Instagram and Twitter and all the rest.
Below are the seven reasons I’m MOST grateful:
#7 – No videos of me in gym class.
Any of you star athletes might not understand what the rest of us gawky teenagers felt like (or looked like) in the gym class uniform. Yes, “back in the day” we had to wear uniforms. And take showers. Those hideous shorts always gave a good wedgie, and the idea of cellphones capturing that madness for social media gives me the willies.
#6 – My secret crushes and love notes stayed secret.
Unless I outed myself, or the object of my desire saw the reams of paper featuring our names together, the love and longings in my middle school Pee Che Folders stayed private. Privacy is a rare commodity for teens today and I feel sorry for them.
#5 – No cyber-bullying.
Seriously. How horrifying would it be if the bullies who chased you home could come crashing into your bedroom at an time? For today’s kids with video, photos and social media, the torture can go on 24/7 if the bully is dedicated enough.
#4 – No photos of me in shoulder pads/parachute pants/(fill in the blank).
Oh. My. God. The photos of me with short hair. In my brother’s hand-me-down corduroys with the big rectangle patches ironed on the knees. With the crazy “Facts of Life” bangs that stuck straight up. None of those photos survived. Yaaaaaaay!
#3 – My table dancing remains anonymous.
Long before Coyote Ugly came out, the rest of us were dancing on bar tops and tabletops in bars. My two fave table dance hot spots in Columbia, MO (Go Tigers!) were Déjà Vu and the long-gone Doc & Eddy’s (locally called “Box and C*@ks”). Thank God no one got that on YouTube. I was fabulous…and no one has any evidence.
[Quick shout-out here to my WANA-pal, Callene Rapp, who Pushed It with me on top of that Doc & Eddy’s bar.]
#2 – Conversations with strangers.
I used to have the best chats on public transportation. Nowadays, the buses in San Francisco are dead silent. Like cemetery silent. Nobody talks, and everyone’s face is in their phone. Ditto with all the other public conversation hot spots. I have to go into my phone these days if I want a conversation in public with a stranger. How sad is that?
And the #1 reason I’m delighted I grew up before social media…
The Selfie Sex Stick.
Okay, I get the selfie craze. I’ve had the Dale Carnegie training – I know people love to talk about themselves. But unless I take up a career in gynecology or proctology, I don’t want to see the insides of people’s genitals. Really. Y’all can Facetime your vajayjay with someone else.
Some things really DON’T need to be photographed.
However, if you simply must know more about this “infrared-camera-up-the-hooha” stick, watch Annabelle Knight of Lovehoney TV. Her accent makes this product sound so classy.
This SVACOM Gaga is available on Amazon – currently on sale for under $160 with free shipping. [The reviews are well worth clicking on that link.]
Did you grow up before social media was a regular part of life? Why are you grateful for that? What do you think you missed? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!
p.s. If you want to know more about spies, and how to write them correctly, check out Piper Bayard’s post at Writers In The Storm today — Writing Spies: Which Agency Does What to Who?