The Great Toilet Debacle of 2015

Toilet HumorThe next time you think you’re having a bad day, just come back to this lively story by my pal, Kelly Byrne. I was late checking in to Facebook today, but “The Great Toilet Debacle of 2015” was waiting for me on my wall, ready to send me into a choking fit of laughter…

*  *  *  *  *  *

A cautionary tale, if you will.

After a shower, I put lotion on all my pertinent parts. When I got to the leg this morning it all went sideways. Literally.

I did what I always do: rested my foot up on the toilet seat to better get the full reach of the leg. I was wearing my super awesome, super soft, super slippery socks and well, you probably see where this is headed.

Into the toilet the foot goes.

But wait there’s more.

When I tried to rectify that horrible situation, my world disintegrated into a Buster Keaton movie. The other slippy sock lost grip on the cold tile. So I’m skating around with the right foot trying to regain balance, and the left foot has apparently set up shop in the toilet because it’s decidedly not cooperating with my pleas to leave it. It’s Bambi on ice, a flail-fest…and I’m going down.

So of course, on my way, I do what now? Yes, grab that shower curtain because a 2 pound rod not-securely-fastened to the wall will hold up a (redacted) pound woman as she’s thrashing wildly about.

I go down hard, curtain in hand, over the side of the shower, and down the bar comes, smacking me in the face as I slump over into the tub.

All this while nekkid, except for the super cushy socks. Yep. Not one of my finer moments. But I sure did get a good laugh out of it.

And a nice shiner on my eye.

Toilet/shower: 1
Kelly: 0

Luckily – the toilet had been flushed.

How was YOUR morning?

Thankfully, nothing was broken except her dignity. And my lunch, when I spit coffee into it from laughing so hard.

Have a nice day. Oh, and you should buy Kelly’s book – it’s fabulous (and naked embarrassment happens there too).


Photo credit: Todd Fong - Flickr

About Kelly

In addition to the 10 things below, she wrote a kickass book called Chasing Kate.


Kelly Byrne

Chasing Kate – $2.99 on Kindle

  • An award-winning writer in many a genre, I currently herd words into YA novels and short stories.
  • In a former life I was a snowboard instructor at Snowbird Resort in Utah and a pet photographer in Los Angeles. I’ve also raced motorcycles (with and without tutu) and jumped out of a helicopter into a lake. All of those things were rad.
  • A friend of mine once requested that I put love in everything I write. I’ve happily obliged.
  • Because of my prodigious gift for empathy, I’m inspired by stories of great personal sacrifice, courage, and loyalty. Like when I selflessly gave two whole squares of my favorite chocolate bar to my boyfriend. You know, incredible sacrifice.
  • In my effort to spread kindness, I’ve been known to hug strangers, especially if they’re wearing something soft and fuzzy.
  • I’ve only lived in four states, but I moved over 30 times in 10 years because I was running from the law. No. No I wasn’t.
  • I believe in the good in people, except when I don’t.
  • I’m an avid pessimist re-framing my worldview daily, so my glass is half empty. No, wait, it’s half full. Ugh. Who cares? I just want to know who’s been drinking out of my glass.
  • My favorite color is sage because it’s the best color in the universe. Fact.
  • I live in Los Angeles with my desperately handsome boyfriend and loopy dog, Lucy, AKA The Goon (the other love of my life) where I’m working on my next project, a three-book series.

Click here if you’d like to sign up for her eNewsletter. Or visit her blog where she discusses why chocolate should be its own food group and other important issues.

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm ( Write on!
This entry was posted in Humor, More Cowbell and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to The Great Toilet Debacle of 2015

  1. Kelly Byrne says:

    In that brief moment, on my way to Faceplant, after I snatched the curtain, I managed also to think: “is this really really for real happening right now?” Then toilet foot was free and I was headfirst in the tub. 🙂 Yes, turns out it really was happening. lol Could have been so much worse. Somebody could have been filming it. 😉

    Thanks again for sharing the debacle that was my morning, Jenny!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Catherine Johnson says:

    Too funny! What a fun bio too. I keep tripping on the stairs because my slipper boots are too big.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. karenmcfarland says:

    Oh my goodness, did hubby and I laugh our eyes out! But seriously, I’m just so glad that you didn’t kill yourself yesterday Kelly. As with things such as this, I’m quite sure this will never happen again. lol. But still, while it’s happening, you think your life is happening in slow motion. What a traumatic experience. So glad you’re alright. And Jenny, it is getting too dangerous to be drinking coffee in front of the computer these days girlfriend. Be careful. lol!!! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kelly Byrne says:

      Thanks so much, Karen. Yeah, for the first, I’d say minute or so afterward, after I mentally checked all the parts and made sure nothing was broken, I stayed where I was (dangling over into the tub) and let the moment breathe. I was just thankful it wasn’t worse, physically speaking. Can you imagine the doctor’s reaction if I told him I broke my ankle in my toilet? lol

      After that moment of reflection, I laughed myself silly. And I mean silly. Tears streaming. A great release. Haven’t had such a good guffaw at myself in a while. It was definitely overdue.

      And no, it will most definitely not happen again. Lesson learned! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. yvettecarol says:

    I read this story on FB too and it had the same effect. I was spluttering my tea everywhere. You can’t help but laugh. These things elicit this response – that’s what I love about people sharing these things, is that it takes a lot of courage to reveal the vulnerable moments.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Jane Sadek says:

    Thanks for the laugh. If it would have been me, someone would have neglected to flush the toilet and the pets would have joined in the fracas.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Kelly Byrne says:

      Oh Jane, it was so close. Because of the drought, we always let the yellow mellow, so the fact that it had been flushed was just a small, huge blessing. It was literally the FIRST thing that went through my mind as the foot slipped in. I looked and though it was still a horrible feeling to have foot in toilet, I was just so relieved for that split second to see clear water. I can’t even tell you. lol It would have brought it to a whole other level if my 15 year-old golden had gotten in on the fun. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • Jenny Hansen says:

        Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve heard that phrase? Didn’t we use that old hippy-ism during a drought back in the 70’s? I remember “Yellow is mellow, but brown goes down” like it was yesterday. (It’s in regards to the toilet, in case any of you have never heard that old hippy-chick phrase. It’s creepy, but apt.)

        Liked by 1 person

  6. If that toilet hadn’t been flushed . . . 🙂 Glad you survived with only hurt pride!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Kelly Byrne says:

      Thanks, Deb. And yeah, the state of the toilet water was the first thing that went through my head. That would have brought it to a whole other level too. Like an American Pie movie. iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Hahahaha! I thoughtI was a bit klutzy in the shower.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pingback: Potty Humor For The Monday Blues - Kelly Byrne

Comments are closed.