Seriously, I was writing an article yesterday called, “Stressed Arizona Woman Averages 90 Orgasms per Hour,” and all the power in my house fried. Just click..zoom..NO power. Yes, it could’ve been the rain, but I’m kinda thinking it was the orgasms.
When I started writing on the topic, it was because the adolescent boy inside me saw this article and thought, “Oh, Lordy. How am I ever gonna measure up to that?” But after I read the entire thing, I thought, “Oh, that poor woman!” This gal has gigantic strings of unplanned, uncontrollable multiple O’s that keep her housebound and terrified.
This Persistent Genital Arousal Syndrome is nothing I’d want to have. I had a co-worker who showed symptoms of this when she was pregnant and it hit her almost every time her legs squeezed together. She’d take five minutes to go up a flight of stairs because she’d be moaning and climaxing every time she lifted her leg. And the worst part was one of her co-workers would have to hold her arm so she didn’t fall and hurt herself.
How do you ever look at your colleague again after he or she saw your sex face? Gah!
Like I said, I was three minutes from posting this article when the power in my house took a nose dive, and I freaked out. I’m flipping breaker switches like a maniac, running through my house turning off lights and yelling for the Hubs.
In the meantime, my phone worked, so I started up a #myWANA chat about it on Twitter with Darcy Flynn and Diana Beebe. Darcy had a sympathetic power outage while we all moaned about the loss of the orgasm article. You’ve gotta love that #myWANA hashtag…always a fine conversation to be found!
And I’m loving this life of writing both fiction and non-fiction. The most fascinating articles arise, if you know what I mean.
How is the weather treating you in your neck of the woods? Did that Noreaster hurt the holiday for any of my East Coast peeps? What disorders have you heard of that sound hilarious until you REALLY read about them? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!
Happy Monday, y’all!
~ Jenny
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
*spitting coffee* You never fail to surprise and amuse, thanks for this!
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You are most welcome, Amy! I really was entertaining myself after a rough day when I wrote this. I’m always happy to branch that laughter out. 🙂
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I needed a good morning laugh. Thanks, although I’m afraid to click on that article now. I don’t want to risk a power outage.
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If you get a power outage from clicking the link, can you let me know? That would be some serious mojo!
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I’ll definitely let you know. LOL!!
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I don’t like being the kind of person to laugh at another’s suffering but I’m choking on coffee here!
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Cristine, you’re laughing WITH her here, so don’t feel bad. Very big difference. Besides, we laugh at everything over here.
Perhaps by bringing the discussion to light, more people will come forward and they can find a treatment for PGAD. 🙂
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I’m glad you got your power back….IYKWIM.
😀
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I did indeed get it back. It was a wild ride yesterday though!
p.s. I have started my sweet potato slips. 🙂
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This line: “How do you ever look at your colleague again after he or she saw your sex face? Gah!” = Must Find New Job At All Costs! It’s bad enough my body is in rebellious menopause mode and I have to explain profuse sweating, crying jags, major forgetfulness, and mild irritability (don’t tell my husband I said it was only “mild”). If I had this, pretty sure I would have a permanent berth in the looney bin.
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Right? I’m easing into the wicked side of menopause myself and it ain’t for sissies. But to add this one? That would be beyond torturous. By the way, a half dose of Prozac worked wonders for my anxiety and irritability. Who’d have thought 10 little milligrams could do so much?
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Yeah already on that – 30 for me- chronic major here since my son was born (23 years ago….) and usually pretty well controlled until this year. But its been a big year for us too- lots to deal with (fir another time) so no real surprise. The hot flashes tho- those are new the past few months. Yuck!
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Thankful you got the power back along with the article! LOL! I would hate to have missed it! And I see you started your sweet potato slips. I actually looked for organic sweet potatoes today and didn’t see any. Will have to drive into town to Whole Foods tomorrow!
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Darcy, I knew the minute I read Diana’s article that I was gonna do it because I have half a bag of organic sweet potatoes left over. Plus a few of them started to sprout already!
You ladies had no idea you were talking me off a ledge over the weekend, but I sure did appreciate it. 🙂
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Couldn’t help but think of the warning at the end of the Viagra commercial, “If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, call your doctor.” Sometimes too much of a good thing is not a good thing. But I have to admit I was laughing as I read the “How would you look your coworkers in the eye…” line!
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Exactly, Kassandra…EXACTLY.
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There’s just never a happy medium is there? Too many or not enough… 😀
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I HEAR YOU, Kristy!! :-0
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You find the dangdest things!!! LOL! Oh my goodness! I’d be housebound forever, too. Um, oh, the question was about weather. Yeah, it’s been pretty normal here! LOL
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Pauline, I really do. Most of the time, it’s one of y’all sending it to me, but this time, I was just browsing Google News, looking for a health topic to write on. I was innocent!
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So you honestly believe there was some kind of correlation between you reading an article about orgasms that sent your entire house into electric shock so severe it shut itself down? Wow, that’s power my friend.
Interesting – weird – article. Not something I even want to know about. Seriously. Don’t need to know. But thanks for sharing anyway. I always learn something over here at the cowbell.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
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Of course not, Patricia. But it made me laugh, which was the really important part, after the wild Sunday I had. 🙂
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Hook a generator up to the poor woman with the O syndrome to power through the outage? Just pondering out loud here, Jenny. Seems a pity to waste all that solo-powered energy …
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LOLOL. I agree to a certain extent, Mark! It’s a damn shame there is no way to harness the horses of 180 orgasms in two hours.
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If a dude had this condition, the symptoms would be one orgasm per hour and a 59 minute nap.
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LOLOLOL
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🙂
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You slay me, Eric! And here’s the kicker…men CAN get this. It’s more rare, since I guess there’s less chance of “trauma to the area” in the form of childbirth, etc. but men have been known to get the disorder, only instead of the dorsal clitoral nerve it is the dorsal penile nerve. Are you scared yet?
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I think I’m more scared of the treatment.
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Um speechless…Anyway, sorry you lost your power. But I can see that it is back on! We got poured upon yesterday, although no power outage. 🙂
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I loved the rain, Karen! I didn’t dig the power outage, but I adored having my garden watered for me. 🙂
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Oh, dear, that poor woman. I’ve recently been feeling … umm … well, okay – closer to orgasm when I sneeze than I ever have before, and I wonder if that is a condition that can come upon a person over time, or if they’re born with it. I can tell you, though, just the whole-body shuddering from sneezing gets old after a while, especially since that’s still *all* I get when I sneeze. Imagine getting “almost-but-not-quite” frustration when you sneeze. Aargh!
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Tammy, you might want to click the top link and go look at a few of the sources. They say PGAD affects menopausal women more than any other group, particularly those who work sitting down. It seems to come on over about 6 months before going too haywire. It’s all there in the sources over on Guardian Liberty Voice.
But in answer to your question, no you aren’t typically born with it. But I’m sorry you’re not getting the “full hurrah” so to speak. 😦
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I will do that, clicking the links thingy. 🙂 I do a lot of sitting down, working at my computer, and I think I’m near menopause – I can’t tell, because I had a procedure a few years ago to stop my bleeding, because I was hemorrhaging. Now I can’t tell what my cycle’s up to, or if it’s even still doing anything, but I’m 50 next month, so I’m close to menopause by just about any measure.
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Could you imagine if us men suffered from genital arousal syrndrome?
Oh, wait a minute, yes we do. Every time the wind blows. Doesn’t take much for us!
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