Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen.
I had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh. Our pal, Gloria Richard, had an Undie-Venture in Vegas!
She spied…she stalked…she skulked…she strutted.
She’s here to tell you all about her “Undies Undercover” adventure. It’s epic.
Note: All photos are original and have been re-inserted, IYKWIM.
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Undie-Ventures in Vegas
by Gloria Richard
There I was, I was ogling the scene in Vegas…
When who should walk by but a man in a hat
Not just any butt.
This dude had my dream butt.
The butt I want on my body.
Not in the sense you might think I want that butt on my body.
[To that ‘might think’ population: Shame on you! My stars! Why, I never!]
stalking further investigation…
I confirmed his butt had defined lift and, get this, NO HAIL DAMAGE!
Would the butt-with-the-hat mind if I asked about his exercise regimen, his lotions and potions, whether or not any Vegas surgeons did butt transplants?
My pictures of this dude? They’re not stalking. They’re job aides for my trainer, who winces when I mention PB (Perky Butt and Boob) goals.
And, then… OMG!
Butt-with-the-hat turned around.
KA-CHING! It was an Undie-Venture waiting to happen. There was no way I would leave Freemont Street without evidence for Jenny, The Queen of the Undie-Verse.
I flip-flopped into The Golden Nugget and snagged sister Sandy at her video poker game. (No ka-ching happening there.) Cashing her out was a Random Act of Kindness.
dragged led her outside, handed over my iPhone, and pointed out the target.
She did not share my glee.
Sandy: You aren’t serious.
Gloria: It’s an Undie-Venture for the Undie-Chronicles.
Sandy: A what for the what?
Gloria: Long story. He’s headed this way.
Sandy’s chatter during the photo shoot didn’t distract him because
he works for tips he’s a professional.
Gloria: What happens in Vegas…
Sandy: Goes on a BLOG!
Gloria: Take the pictures. You’ll get good gambling Karma. I’m the one getting my picture taken.
Sandy: I’m the one looking at this.
Gloria: Just. Take. The. Picture.
WHOOOOP! Down he went into the old slip and slide.
Makes me wonder if he has
socks stuffed in that G-String a big heart.
I blinked on the first shot and begged for another. Sandy grumbled.
Sandy? What did she have to lose?
Except her pride…
Her will to live.
Since my sister skedaddled before I could strike another pose, the Undie-Venture ended.
*pausing for a moment of silence to THE BUTT*
Thanks, Sandy for your help. I’m sorry that good-egg-good-gambling-karma blather was a
big fat lie fib.
Thanks, Jenny, for the opportunity to strut my dream butt on More Cowbell, where the Undie-Verse thrives and no post is complete without at least one IYKWIM.
Finally, thanks, Victoria’s Secret, for support throughout. IYKWIM.
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Jenny here. I don’t know about the rest of you, but now I have a new resolution to add to my list: a butt with no hail damage. (<– There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say.)
Gloria, my lovely, please take a bow. You deserve it for that kind of Monday entertainment. To read the other half of her “Adventures in Vegas,” click here.
Have y’all ever had a Vegas adventure? Was it an undie-venture? If you change the names to protect the innocent, can you tell us in the comments? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!