Undie Chronicles, Vol 25: Are Girdles for Men Called Mirdles?

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen. 

I had no idea when this began that there were so many hilarious undie-based topics to discuss. Plus it’s Monday, and I like a good Monday belly laugh. Our pal, Kitt Crescendo, put this gem on my Facebook page yesterday and I’ve been having fits over it ever since.

Kitt Crescendo posted a photo to your timeline.

Man girdle (mirdle)? And why do his undies look like a pouch/pocket or maybe a downward facing rocket?

Here is the photo in question so y’all can see that downward-facing rocket for yourselves.

Is that a hunk of burning love, or what? (Don’t answer that.)

If that’s not a contraption to inspire lust, I don’t know what is. (Okay, you please do answer that one.)

But seriously, this is right up here with butt implants for me. It’s false advertising.

If I’m going to make the effort to rip off them clothes to get to your goods, they ought to at least be the goods I saw from the outside. And this guy’s chest is hot. With a chest like that, who gives a rip if he’s got a belly?

I know this is a bit hypocritical coming from a blonde gal who darkens her eyelashes with mascara, but at least in that case, the lashes are clearly visible.

Not so with this Mirdle.

And $3.49 was a ton of money back then, considering you could get a piece of candy for a penny. This guy is trying to sell some candy he doesn’t even have, if you know what I mean.

But do you know what had me rolling in the aisles over this ad? That little box at the bottom that says “Try 10 Days Free.”

What, like a man is going to just slip on into this, sweat it up and jiggle his junk…and then give it back? Who would want it back? There could be re-conditioned, “not-so-gently used” mirdles running around all over the place.

*shudders*

Y’all know I had to go look up Man Girdles to see what the latest and greatest apparatus (apparati?) are. I found the Underworks Zip-N-Trim Support Brief Girdle for Men with 8-inch Powerband for $36.99.

Pictures of this thing-a-ma-jiggy assure me that it gives Spanx a serious run for the money. Not only that but it’s MUCH easier to get in and out of. Hmmmm…if only I needed the pouch, I be throwing out those Spanx I use every three years.

Zip-N-Trim customers also spent scads of money on these other gut-sucking items:

I had no idea there was such a market for this!

Here was how the gals weighed in on Facebook:

Kitt: A man so lacking in confidence that he’d feel he needed a mirdle is probably not my ideal… However, if this is some sort of support for a back injury, maybe.

Patricia: Kitt I was thinking the same thing. That looks like it would really help with folks who slouch. I could use that back brace to help me sit up straight.

Kitt: Corsets are actually great for that and can be quite fun to wear.

I tell you, these ladies entertained me all afternoon, between the original mirdle ad and the chatting. Alas, I was out on a boat with other people, and therefore unchattable. (I’m plenty available to chat today!)

Have you ever tried on a girdle, male or female? What was your experience? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny