I honestly did not know what to call this post. Various discarded titles:
- Today is the BIG DAY!
- The Wild Side of Hip Surgery
- Propositioning Doctors, Rad Equipment
- Stepping Into Dog Hip Twilight Zone
Today is the big day!! At 8 am Pacific Time, Dr. Kramer is getting busy with my Dog Hip. He’ll be stitching that labral tear right up, and there will finally be an end in site for the limping and the pain. Woooo!
Y’all know I met the doctor, right? He stood me up to vacation in Fiji for a few weeks. I mean, hello? Would you rather see the inside of Dog Hip or frolic on the beaches of Fiji? I think the choice is clear.
So I’m asking him about what I’ll be able to do afterward, and my Lovenox shots and all sorts of stuff like: “What about standings/sitting/driving?” And he said they’d all be fine after the first week or so.
Well, then I ask him: “What about sex?”
With zero pause in the convo, he says: ” Well I’m married. But thank you SO much!”
You know I adore this guy. And I adore my pals.
Like August McLaughlin, who posted this for me:
Also, over on Facebook, members of the More Cowbell posse are having a field day cracking me up! Here’s Kathy Owen’s addition. (She shoots, she scores…!)
THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY:
Has anyone seen my watch?
Come back with that! Bad Dog!
Wait a minute, if this is her spleen, then what the hell is that?
Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingy
What do you mean she wasn’t in for a sex change!
Damn, there go the lights again…
Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!…
Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
What do you mean, she’s not insured?
Let’s hurry, I don’t want to miss “Bay Watch”
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
In the middle of all this, a completely hot man came and delivered my medical equipment. Wait until I show you this stuff. It could practically do the laundry and clean the house by itself, it’s so comprehensive.
What is the funniest thing about surgery to you? Any recovery suggestions? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!