When Dates Should Come With A Warning Label

How many of y’all remember my pal Clair from Can a Cup o’ Joe Make Your Man a Ho’?

She’s out in the dating scene again and, well…she’s sort of dangerous. Dating makes her so nervous that she becomes a hazard: throwing things and spilling hot liquids in unfortunate places. A note of warning seemed like a kind thing to do.

The above is a real warning label Clair created to give to her dates.

A huge mistake or a brilliant move? I can’t wait to hear your opinions on it.

The fact is, anyone who’s dated for a while has met someone like one of these two (both of whom should come with a warning label.

Dating Candidate #1:

The part that had me on the floor:
“I’ve got a whole can of peas. I’ve got a case. A pallet. I’ve gotta whole warehouse of peas!”

Dating Candidate #2 (this might not be as suitable for work):


The part that had me on the floor:

“You think a lot of men can’t handle the regalness of an up-do. Own that ponytail, girl! Work that up-do.” (The best part? This is the same person.)

These two are FANTASTIC for our Monday giggle.

What’s your worst dating story? Have you ever given out or received a warning label? What did it say? Which dating candidate above was your favorite? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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13 Responses to When Dates Should Come With A Warning Label

  1. Jane Sadek says:

    My roommate was crazy for a guy and needed a date for his friend. For some reason, I agreed to go. The event was supposed to be a football game and a frat reunion. I thought, “How bad could it be?” Due to a series of ridiculous situations we never made it to the game and only got to the party after everyone, but a couple of hanger-oners, had moved on. For most of the evening/afternoon, I was stuck in the back seat with a guy who could start an argument in an empty room. When we finally returned to our apartment I was never so happy to see my own abode, but my roommate/friend was in love and so Socrates spent the night on our couch (not his desired berth, BTW). The ordeal was like eighteen hours of being interrogated by the Inquisition or the Gestapo, but Socrates thought we had a great time and wanted my number!!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Socrates! OMG. That’s hilarious — not for YOU, but for us to hear about now. It’s always astonishing the situations we’re willing to endure for our friends.🙂

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  2. K.B. Owen says:

    ROFL! Love the up-do part, too! Thanks for the giggle. Now, I’m back to work.😉

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Kathy, that “Can I Have Your Number” video has me on the floor every single time I watch it. You know the funniest part? If you watch the link to the other video by the same person, you’ll find out “he” isn’t who you think he is. Fabulous!

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  3. tomwisk says:

    Haven’t got any dating horror stories, but… if Clair is willing I’m available I’d be honored. What could happen? Except maybe a three-blog take on the date.

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  4. Thank goodness I’m not in that world now! I would be the same way, tripping, spilling, burping. 🙂

    I just remember a guy I met in college at a dance. We got along pretty well and one day when I went back to his room (I know, I shouldn’t have), he tried to get romantic with me. Except that his idea of foreplay was literally chewing and licking my ear! It was like he hadn’t eaten in weeks and was slobbering all over my ear with his tongue. He tried to put his tongue in my eardrum! I was like, “WTF??” I literally told him I had to go and ran out of his room! Poor guy. But, EW! Who does that?

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  5. OH, i’m sure you remember my recent blog post about my nightmare date where the girl’s hair caught on fire!

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