10 Better-Than-The-Truth Stories about “Dog Hip”

Shakira, hottie

Shakira channeling Jenny as she leaps for the coffeepot… R-I-I-I-P-P-P-P!

Any of you who read my last post know about what the Hubs and I are calling “Dog Hip.”

Note regarding the name: I’m not dissing dogs. I love dogs. It’s just an easier thing to call it, rather than “Right Hip Dysplasia with a Torn Labrum.” (Yes, this disclaimer should be unnecessary.)

It shall forevermore be termed DOG HIP.

Anyway, the More Cowbell posse came up with MUCH better reasons for how I tore it than the reality, which is: “I don’t know. Probably Crossfit, but likely wear and tear from the dysplasia.”

The truth just doesn’t sound all that sexy. I’ve linked to all the peeps who gave me SEXIER reasons below.🙂

10 WAY better-than-the-truth stories about how I got in this mess:

  1. An old pole dancing injury. (Jansen Schmidt)
  2. Secret ice hockey tournaments. It’s a common goalie injury.  (Eric J. Baker)
  3. I tore it doing a joyous cheerleading jump over my potatoes. (K.B. Owen)
  4. Things got wild during my Elvis Presley “Hound Dog” impersonation. (Julie Glover)
  5. My boobs threw my hip out. [Shut up. It could happen.] (Melanie Marttila)
  6. I failed as a Spider Ninja; instead I tripped over the printer as I ran. (Kristy K. James)
  7. Regular Guy NYC, Phil, chased me into raging waters during Tough Mudder training.
  8. Belly dancing class. (Jansen Schmidt and Piper Bayard)
  9. An epic moment on the mechanical bull at Billy Bob’s (Gloria Richard in absentia)
  10. My hoo-hah got out of line if you know what I mean. (Juli Page Morgan)

Now aren’t all those better than the truth?

p.s. I hope y’all click those links so you can enjoy the amazing talent that hangs out here.

Which reason is your favorite? What new ones do you have to add? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

  • Hip surgery is currently scheduled for June 19th. Word is, the rehab sucks.
  • Jane Sadek tagged me in the “Writing Process Blog Hop.” I’m behind, but I’ll be doing that this week. (I promise all you organized types will hate my process.) Thanks to Jane for her patience…the weekend was pure suckitude.
  • Writers In The Storm, my other blog home, is moving on June 2nd. There’ll be killer posts and giveaways all month long. If you haven’t subscribed yet, hurry up! We’re giving away a $25 Amazon card to a subscriber.🙂
  • All of you Walter Trout fans will be delighted to know: he got his liver transplant on Monday! The first 48 hours are critical so your healing energy toward Omaha is welcome! Here’s a post I wrote about Walter a while back. He’s an amazing artist.

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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24 Responses to 10 Better-Than-The-Truth Stories about “Dog Hip”

  1. Jane Sadek says:

    Thanks Jen! Your fellow tagged bloggers are having the same sort of issues. I knew there was a reason I hadn’t done these blog hops before and I’ll have to forget this one before I do it again. Three! I only needed three!

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Jane, I had grand intentions, and it just didn’t happen. It took me almost a week to find out that my Vicodin gives me headaches. I’m thinking it’s like Beano and they put gluten in it. The bastards.🙂

      Like

  2. A POX on me for failing to read your dog hip post yesterday. I am SO not making light of your trauma when I confess I HOWLED at hubby’s inventive (?) suggestion that you pat him on the head and give him a bone, Or, was it the other way around?

    OMG! Poor Jenny. Do not fret over never again running for exercise. I HATE running. Walking fast? Yup! Treadmill on a 10 to 15% incline? Oh, yeah. (It’s great for perky butt maintenance.) The reason I hate running and jogging (aside from the obvious) is what I call boing, boing strain on key muscle groups.

    I mean…SERIOUSLY! My workouts include exercises focused on PB2. PB2 — distinct groups of muscles responsible for Perky Breasts and Perky Butts. PB2s should NOT be challenged by making them Boing(!) when my sneakers hit the ground. Period. End of story.

    I have a sciatic nerve that flares up and makes my right leg muscles seize when I walk fast. Thank goodness, I know what to do in terms of chiro and stretches to heal it. (Until I do something doltish and strain it again,). HOWEVER (!) I recently discovered a deep muscle massage therapist who worked wonders. First time I’ve ever paid to have my @$$ covered in oil and massaged by a man’s hands — and, then his thumbs hit an owieeeeeeee, holy crap, gaaaaaaah nerve and all naughty thoughts took a hike.

    Thanks for the shoutout, my friend. Be careful! I WILL get you on that bull at Billy Bobs the next time you’re in Texas.

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  3. Sue says:

    Number 5 – HAHAHAHA! Totally using that one.

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  4. I would probably put mine out leaping for an escaping Junior Mint. LOL Okay, seriously I hope you get feeling better. thinking back, I remember my hip used to pop in and out a lot. Back in the olden days, I sort of remember something about women’s hips and childbirth. I have no idea if it was an old maid’s tale or what. Apparently everything we did back then was wrong, as was what our moms did and their moms did (though if you watch The Midwife on Netflix? Holy cow. That was wrong!)

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Well my hips pretty much stopped at the halfway mark in childbirth so we haven’t decided yet if that’s BECAUSE of the “dog hip” or if the two are completely unrelated.

      On the “everything was wrong” front, these people did some wild crap to their bodies. But all that clean eating made up the difference.🙂

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  5. amyshojai says:

    Love these alternative reasons. At my house it would be, “tripped over the (fill in name of nearest fur-kid).”

    Like

  6. ericjbaker says:

    You hoo-hah got out of line if I know what you mean?

    No, I have no idea what that means at all! I think Oprah should do an episode on it and invite Dr. Oz. Does Oprah still do episodes? I’m so lost.

    Like

  7. Oh come on Jenny, I know you like getting wet and dirty and doing it in the mud!😉

    Don’t blame me for throwing your hip out of whack. I think that blame should lie on old hubby there! Boom chicka bow wow!

    Like

  8. lynnkelleyauthor says:

    Dang, I’m sorry you have to have surgery.😦 I hope the rehab goes much better than what you’ve heard. Those ten reasons are all funny, but my fave is #5! Take care, Jenny.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Me too, Lynn. ME TOO! I’m thinking of trying some accupuncture to see if it will alleviate some of the pain. I’ve heard good things, so we’ll see.

      Like

  9. Hey, thanks for the shout outs, Jenny. I’m glad I made the list, twice as a matter of fact.

    Only positive thoughts heading your way for your upcoming procedure and recovery. I’m sure you’ll be better for it when it’s all said and done.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Like

  10. I got the ping-back and thought, oh no, she di-in’t! Oh yes, you did! Can you see me blushing from all the way down there?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Do you really think anyone was going to go digging through last weeks comments? (Okay, maybe they will now.) But you’ve gotta admit, your excuse is winning the More Cowbell “unofficial poll” today.🙂

      Love it!

      Like

  11. Thanks for the shout out, Jenny.🙂

    You could also add to the list, tripping over a cat who likes human food better than cat food (in particular, Doritos and Slim Jim’s). I have one who thinks it’s a good idea to stand directly behind me while I’m at the stove or counter. Not cool when you forget he’s there…

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  12. Pingback: Undie Chronicles, Volume 24: The Jog Strap | Jenny Hansen's Blog

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