Discovering “Dog Hip” — A Survival Guide

Thoughty Thursday is a bit of a health discussion and update today. I’ve been keeping things from you, my peeps!

About three months ago, I discovered I have “Dog Hip” (what we’re calling Hip Dysplasia). Probably, I should thank my husband for this discovery. Before the following conversation I was in the chiropractor’s office every few weeks with a hip that was killing me.

The Hubs: You’re going to the chiropractor again?

Me: Yeah. He’ll rub this, crack that, and slam my hip back into place. I’ll be good to go.

Him: *rounding on me with THE FACE* Your brother had an emergency hip replacement at thirty-six years old. Don’t you think you should go get it looked at?

Me: But that was probably from an injury–

Him: *beady stare*

You know how when your dog is in trouble, they look everywhere except at your face? Yeah… I did that, before slinking off to text my primary care physician.

The doc sent me in for an x-ray and, lo and behold, at forty-plus, I found out I have mild hip dysplasia (aka Dog Hip). Furthermore, he told me I’d be having a hip replacement sometime in my lifetime. Since they only last 20-30 years, I certainly don’t want one of those any time soon.

I’m not trying to make light of this at all. I’ve got friends with serious hip issues, and I watched my big brother, the Bag Whore, suffer through a year of pain and then hip replacement. (Which was followed by a turbo-sexy girdle and crutches for a few months.) Hip issues hurt.

I rationalized for a while: I didn’t have any of what they had.

Sure, my hip periodically felt like it was out of line and I’d be out of my mind with pain shooting down my right leg until my chiro slammed it back in. But. I’d forgotten about all the fleeting moments over the last few decades when my right hip has ached, clicked or just shot pain in several directions.

Whoopsie.

Last month, when my appointment finally came up with the great hip guy, he said: “Your x-rays do not say hip replacement.” [Suh-weet!]

When I asked him what they did say, he moved my legs around in ways not even my husband has tried, and said: “I think you have a labral tear.”

“Excuse me, what?” (I asked twice because I heard something that sounded a lot like what one might hear at the gynecologist’s office.)

“Your labrum,” he said. “It helps attach your leg into your hip socket. I think you tore it, which happens a lot with hip dysplasia. We need to do an MRA to be sure.” (That’s an MRI, where they inject your hip with super-special dye first.)

From http://www.methodistorthopedics.com/

Many scans and probing needles to the hip later, it’s confirmed: I’ve got a Dog Hip with a Labral Tear. Doesn’t that sound sexy?

[Hub’s note: I really thought you’d say, “Don’t you just want to pat my head and give me a bone? IYKWIM…” Do you see why I married him? That man is funny.]

What this means is I’m now pacing around my house a LOT, and I’m mostly working standing up. It’ means I’ve learned how to give my hip traction by hanging my legs over one side of the couch with the rest of me upside down the other direction.

This means it’s almost a sure bet I’ll be having hip surgery in the next month. Although, since labral tears hurt, this will actually be kind of a relief. I’ll keep you posted on the developments as they occur.

On the up side: when I return to Crossfit, I’m exempted from running FOREVER.

(I’ll bet Kathy Owen just heard my cheers all the way over on the East Coast. I detest running. But at least now I know why I was always slower than a turtle dipped in molasses.)

The most important take-away for this post: If something hurts for a flipping year or more, go get it checked out!

Do you have any fun names for your bizarre body aches and pains? Any experience with a hip or shoulder labrum? Do you have experience with health issues you ignored that turned out to be more serious? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny