The Bag Whore Drools Over Axes–What’s Your “Porn?”

Y’all remember my brother, the Bag Whore, right? This is the man who describes massages like so:

Sis, have you ever seen a toddler’s Pull-up? Well, they put a version of one on me for this freaking massage. There were a$$ hairs and butt cheeks everywhere.

He’s completely hilarious, and we get along great, but we like very different things. Prime example was his Facebook update earlier this week:

Axe Porn

The ensuing conversation:

My pal Deb: Jenny, do you think there’s such a thing? I’d like to hear your take on this.

Bag Whore: My sis doesn’t appreciate Axe porn…it’s just not her thing…

His Pal: But there are others of us who do!

Me: Deb, I’m terrified of axes. I just know I’d cut off a limb. Actually, as I think about it, I’m a bit terrified of porn, which is very funny considering my current manuscript is filled with porn stars.

Bag Whore: Still a dork. Must be related…

Then he posts…

Bag Whore: Check out the Double Bit Axe http://ssidders.tripod.com/id121.htm

Me: Okay, so a “Double Bit” axe is one with two sides to the blade, right? (Definitely I’d sever something with one of them.)

Bag Whore: Sigh. Yes. Rookie. This one is a Nessmuck design. Google Nessmuk he’ s pretty famous in the outdoor world. He’s also a well published author.

Me: While I admire all writers, I’m STILL positive I’d lop off something I liked with that axe. And how come it’s sometimes spelled with the “e” and sometimes without? I like the Scrabble options, but I’m dying to know.

His pal: Jenny – funny you should ax that question. 🙂 It’s because English is not a particularly consistent language… http://grammarist.com/spelling/ax-axe/

Ax and axe are different spellings of the same word. Axe is standard in varietie…s of English from outside the U.S. Axe also appears in American English, but the newer spelling, ax, has gained ground over the last half century and is now more common.

[Who says you never learn anything on Facebook?]

His Pal: Here is the original drawing of the axe & knives that Nessmuk used – http://www.oldjimbo.com/survival/racquette/trio.jpg. I’m convinced his belt knife was the inspiration for the Marble’s Woodcraft Knife – I own one with a Bakelite pommel (top) – http://p2.la-img.com/439/18661/6315721_3_l.jpg

Bag Whore: Ooooh knife porn…

Seriously, I think he drooled on his phone over these knife and axe photos. As his baby sister, I was all prepared to make fun of him.

And then I thought about me in a really good wine (or kitchen gadget) store…

I thought of the Hubs with survival gear…

All my writer pals in office supply stores…

Then there’s FOOD PORN.

And I came to the conclusion that we all have our own forms of porn.

What do y’all think? Is there something unusual, or a store, that gives you that electric zing of excitement up your spine? Come on, you can tell us…we don’t judge. 🙂 Enquiring minds love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny