Party chat makes me giggle. Especially the party chat that happens in my family.
At the family Easter bash, there was a huge discussion about the do’s and don’ts of public toilets. To hover or sit, to use a seat cover or “go commando.” Who knew there’d be so many toilet philosophies in one family? (Or that I was related to so many people who carry their own seat covers?)
Most of us were in one of these three groups:
Camp #1: “I’ll put my butt anywhere.”
Camp #2: “Touch NOTHING.”
Camp #3: “I put the booty down…unless it’s creepy.”
Mind you, I was unsurprised that the debate took place. These are the same people who got into the hoo-hah discussion at Christmas after all.
This last weekend it was a different crowd, and the SNL skit “Colonel Angus” was up for discussion, with all its glorious innuendo.
[p.s. I had this chat with two gay men.]
I’ll let you watch the video yourselves so you can see how darned funny it is. It’s heavy on the “if you know what I mean” factor…just the way I like it!
Happy Monday to y’all! I hope my party chat makes you giggle too.
What’s your stance on public toilets? Had you ever seen this SNL skit? What’s the funniest “party chat” you’ve had lately? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!
~ Jenny
photo credit: Anne Worner via photopin cc
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
I spit out a hearty guffaw when I saw the Colonel Angus title of your post! I just watched this a few weeks ago and was amazed with the ability of everyone to keep mostly straight faces. No way…
My family gatherings usually involve my father-in-law’s stories about shit-storms that happened in his drawers, usually at the most inopportune times…but is there really ever a good time to crap your pants??
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I’d never have been able to keep a straight face either. But really, Kelly? Shit-storms? That’s a major party foul topic! Poor you and your husband…
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“…and if I overstay my welcome, just tap me on the head…” ROFL! As far as public toilets go, I am of the “Touch Nothing” camp.
Gee, I wonder what family BBQs are like!
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I know, Kathy…that one KILLED me. I hesitate to guess on the BBQ…it could get fiery. 🙂
And really? You’re in Camp #2? I’m much more about Camp #3, although I often do potty squats and just hover.
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Shady Thicket? Knock me on my head? Anal Angus? KA-SNORT!!!. I would have to watch that clip 47.66666 times to catch ALL of the much-revered IYKWIM’s.
My stance on (in) public toilets? (Did you choose that wording on purpose, or was it a happy coincidence?)
My brain and my bladder cut an unauthorized deal:
Brain: I’ll let you know when the word Restroom is within sight.
Bladder: Great! I’ll amp the urgency level from Preemptive Pee to GOTTA GO NOW! Let’s see if we can make her cross her legs and bunny hop into the stall.
Brain and Bladder: Hehehehehehehehe
I’m a Plunk My @$$ girl.
Don’t judge me.
I DO wash my hands long enough to sing the happy birthday song so I get rid my hands of germs. My @$$ is on its own.
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Gloria! I just wanted to say a big thanks for your donation to my charity run! When you going to start blogging again?
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What he said…
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Gloria, I MISS YOU!! I was thinking about you this weekend, and here you are. It is like magic. 🙂
And my bladder is starting to get that “now”-ish-ness too. It’s a pain. But I’m fine to sit on a potty that looks reasonable, but usually I just hover.
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Gloria, I don’t know you, but I want to. Hope that doesn’t sound too stalkerish. You’re hilarious. Going to go stalk you now. Don’t worry. It won’t hurt. 🙂
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EEEEEEE!!!!!!! A stalker! I’ll never be alone again.
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She’s definitely worth stalking, Kelly. She’s been hiding from us, finishing her book and moving and all that. But we’ve been keeping the light on for her. 🙂
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You and Jess Witkins got my giggler going this morning.
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Jess got my giggler going too. Love that girl. 🙂
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I must be slowing up in my old age. It was a quarter way through before I realised what they were saying.
Sigh. if only.
xxx Huge Hugs xxx
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LOLOLOLOL. David, thanks for cracking me up. I like knowing that there’s an uncorrupted mind here at More Cowbell. You’re a treasure!
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Ha! I just recently saw that skit. It’s too funny.
Oh – and even as a guy who has gone everywhere for the #2 – do the hover. Always hover unless the bowl is pristine. Like in Tiffany’s here in NYC. Now that was worth putting my butt on!
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Tiffany’s has glorious toilets? Good to know! I might have to visit there the next time I’m in NYC. Of course, if they make me buy something before I get to go, there might be an issue. 🙂
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I’ve been a fan of the Colonel. He can be fun and a great way to break the ice. Happy Monday Jenny.
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Happy Monday to YOU, Tom!! Who’s NOT a fan of the Colonel. I mean, really…
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I’ve never seen this one. O.M.G. Too many giggle-worthy moments to quote here. Great stuff, Jenny. Freakin’ hilarious. Amy Poehler is one of my favorite people on planet earth, especially as Leslie Knope. I adore Parks & Rec.
Digressing.
I’m in the third camp when it comes to toilets on occasion. But generally, I’ll put my butt anywhere. LOL
I don’t do parties much anymore, so clearly I’m missing out, but back in the day, my ex-boyfriend’s Aunt and Uncle told us an explosive shitty pants story (like Kelly) that nearly made me wet my pants it was so funny. Maybe this is why I don’t go to parties much anymore. 😉
Thanks for making me laugh this mornin’. I hope the munchkin’s feeling better and has ceased her projectile vomiting. That’s never pleasant for anyone involved.
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I’m in Camp #3, but often, I just prefer to hover. It’s great for the thighs. And we LOVE to laugh on Monday mornings. It’s like a rule around here. 🙂
Cross your fingers: I think the vomiting has stopped. Now if we can just keep our tummies intact, we’ll be good.
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Humid in the deep south lol. That is one funny video! Thanks for the giggles
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LOL…one of the best SNL skits ever, Catherine! I don’t know how they keep a straight face. I’d have absolutely LOST it.
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SNL is always a riot when Christopher Walken is a guest. Yes, quite a play on words. lol. Okay, so this is my motto, “hover or cover.” I live by those two little words out in public. 🙂
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Hover or cover. *giggling* That’s a fine philosophy. My booty ain’t as particular. 🙂
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Public toilets are a necessary evil. I don’t carry my own seat covers or toilet paper, but I do usually keep a package of Kleenex in my purse in case there’s no paper in the stall. I may sit my naked but on the seat, but I don’t like to drip dry.
Always interesting stuff over here at the cowbell. You never know what you’re gonna get.
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
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Don’t you HATE it when there’s no paper?? I certainly do. A package of Kleenex is an idea I should probably adopt.
p.s. The reason why you never know what you’re gonna get, is I never know what I’m gonna write. It keeps it fun, right? 🙂
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Put me down for Camp 3. I’ll put my butt anywhere, unless it’s creepy. And really as long as I can wash my hands I’ll survive. But you know about my irrational fear of penis prints in the house, right? When boys don’t wash their hands after peeing, all I can think about is penis prints all over my house. Penis prints on the doorknobs, on the light switches, on the fridge door, on the remote! I flippin lose it. I buy nice soap; I expect you to use it. (Especially since I am employed again, I do not have to rely on free gifts of butt soap from my father.)
P.S. Joe just asked me what I was writing about. I told him ‘public toilets.’ And he said, ‘Oh I have lots to contribute for that. As far as men go, the world is men’s oyster for peeing.’
I’ll leave you with THAT bit of information.
P.P.S. Some time ago I asked Joe to name one thing he learned from me after 7 years of being in a relationship together. His answer: “Use soap.” I say, mission accomplished.
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