Surprisingly, this did NOT come to me from Facebook… ~ Photo credit: http://www.ginavalley.com
Seriously, these posts made me laugh so hard, my Cowbell slipped (if you know what I mean.)
#1
I adored Heather Curley’s entire post, I laugh in church. Loudly., but this sentence started the gigglefest:
“Look, I’m perpetually twelve. If you leave the door open just a crack for sexual innuendo or fart jokes, I come crashing in like the Kool-Aid man.”
#2
And I don’t know about you, but when Daylight Savings Time hits each spring, I long (like 10 times that Sunday/Monday) to live in Arizona where they don’t bother with this crap. Gina Valley expresses it perfectly in Top 10 Reasons Daylight Savings Time is the Devil.
Incidentally, #3 on her list completely happened to us:
“It makes everyone arrive 30 minutes early for the second service at church on Sunday morning, when we were in fact all shooting for the first service, but forgot to adjust our clocks.”
#3
And finally, the post that has yet to be beat – I still go back and visit it every few months for a gigantic belly laugh: Surviving Whole Foods by Kelly MacLean.
She had me with this opener, but every time I read this thing I practically go into convulsions. I swear, I’ve been to her store.
Whole Foods is like Vegas. You go there to feel good but you leave broke, disoriented, and with the newfound knowledge that you have a vaginal disease.
And a Monday bonus for my posse…
The best video I saw this week was from Donnalou Stevens. Not only is her voice fantastic, but anyone over forty will likely die laughing over it. It’s called “Older Ladies” and you might have to be on Facebook to view it. I promise, it’s worth it! Donnalou is like the Gloria Gaynor of the new millenium.
Part of the chorus:
“If you want a younger model, I wish you well, Sweet Pea.
Cuz if you can’t see what it is you have, then you ain’t having me.”
Happy Monday! I’m wishing a glorious St. Paddy’s Day to y’all. 🙂
What funny stuff have you stumbled onto this week? Do you have any plans to get in touch with your Irish side today? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!
~ Jenny
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
These are terrific, Jenny! Loved the WF one, will get to the others later…back to work! P.S. – loved “The pretzels are very fattening but I’m already in the seventieth percentile of ugly so who cares.” LOL!
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I loved that, and where she’s going down the gluten free aisle “where they use alternatives to wheat like sawdust and cardboard.” Phenomenal!
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Great choices! That Whole Foods post is truly epic and I LOVED the video! LOLOL
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Because “older ladies are DIVINE,” Pauline. (That entire video is divine as far as I’m concerned. 🙂 )
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I read the Surviving Whole Foods one. Oh my goodness, laugh out loud funny! Thanks for that.
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You’re welcome, Julie. That Whole Foods post has had me cracking up for 6 months now – I had to share it!
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If you want a younger model, I wish you well, Sweet Pea.
Cuz if you can’t see what it is you have, then you ain’t having me.”
She said it all for us and the vid was to die for 🙂
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Florence, I am so madly in love with that video…I’ve shared it widely. I hope she goes viral with that thing. It’s such a happy song over such an unhappy topic, and I can just imagine sitting around with my girlfriends and going that. (Although I would definitely be doing the back-up part.)
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Good Jenny, I was born to do harmony … in more than one way 🙂
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I was born to dance and not sing at all. But I still get up there when there’s beverages involved.
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These gave me a good laugh, epecially the Whole Foods one except that I feel as if I had a prostate exam following an enema after shopping there it’s so damn crazy crowded in NYC!
Happy St Paddy’s Day!
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Thanks, Phil! I’m gonna have to go buy some GF beer so I can be fun green here at home. 🙂
Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s in San Francisco are like that. It’s crazy. I didn’t realize it was worse in NYC. That “Namaste” from the Prius “who crept up on her like a panther” in the parking lot SLAYED me.
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Ohmygosh Kelly’s post is hysterical! That’s how I feel about my co-op. Maybe I have candida, probably not, I’m way too poor.
And Heather’s post is funny too! I laughed at a great many things in Catholic school as well. For example, when we got a new priest, all my friend’s moms referred to him to as Father What-a-Waste because they thought he was cute. I wonder if our congregation’s number of confessions went up that year…
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Is that the funniest thing, about the candida? I think it’s more so for me because I had a neighbor who had it and she was so, so miserably sick for a long time (and she’s loaded).
I never knew you went to Catholic school…the things I learn!! We will have much great car time this summer…
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I’d seen the one about Whole Foods (I think I bookmarked it into Springpad) and I’ve exiled myself from Facebook until at least April 20, but the other two were a riot. (The link for the Gina Valley post is broken: too many “http://”s.)
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John, thank you so much for telling me! I just fixed it. And I am so proud of you for giving up Facebook for Lent. You rock, dude. 🙂
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