I must have an invisible “V” tattooed on my forehead this week. In addition to it being International Women’s Day this weekend, I’ve had no less than THREE people send me items via email or Facebook that celebrate “The Bird,” as my gal pal calls it.
Is it because of Spring Break? Lent? What?
Sure, I dig vaginal humor as much as the next gal, but it’s surprising to get bombarded by it in the course of forty-eight hours. I’ve got to check and see if we’re approaching the full moon. (No pun intended.)
And you know I can’t keep these things to myself. I must share the wealth with my posse here at More Cowbell.
So….
There was this fab cartoon of my beloved minions from Rebel FM the Rock Station’s Page.
Another pal sent me an email titled, “Move Over Crossfitters, there’s a new Strong Woman in Town!” Meet Tatiana, owner of the world’s strongest vagina.
WTH?!
Why? Dear God, WHY must you be able to lift a 30 pound kettlebell with your Coo? I just don’t understand why we need strength training of this particular body part? Since when are kegels not good enough? Plus, I’ve blogged on PantyO’s and the Bladder Dominatrix. There’s tools out there, Tatiana. Kettlebells seem a bit excessive to me.
It sometimes amazes me the kinds of talents people spend hours developing.
I’ve seen my brother and boy cousins practice underarm fart songs for hours. And I have a girlfriend who can burp the entire alphabet. It’s fascinating in a dubious, squinchy kind of way.
I always wonder: What motivated you to practice this talent until you were perfect?
Like, what motivated Amy G to perfect this talent? (And why did I get tagged with it?) Warning: This video is NOT suitable for work or for kids.
I do have to give Amy some serious points for showmanship. Even if I cringed the whole time I watched, her face in that link above is priceless.
But… (You knew there’d be a “but.”) Wouldn’t it be more practical, and less embarrassing, if she’d stuck with playing the kazoo with her mouth? Who suggested she move her musical talents south and take them to the stage?
Personally, I’d be kind of depressed if all my musical talent was centered below the waist. How would you share your giftedness at weddings and funerals?
But let’s turn this discussion over to all of you. Do you have any secret special talents? What are they? Has it been “Vajayjay Week” in your neck of the woods too? What is UP with that? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!
~ Jenny
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
I don’t understand why we need an International Women’s Day … to prove ourselves by. Men don’t have a special day. *smile – we women should be like the men .. united and supported every day.
Jenny, my talent must be cooking … and the kitchen environment when I started was to 98% male – do that was my driving force to be come better than my male colleagues – but I’m also a true Virgo, if I done something good … I have to do it great next time – was nearly killing me when I was working. I have relaxed a bit now. Don’t take things so serious anymore.
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Viveka, cooking is a rockstar talent! It’s always fascinated me that so many of the chefs are male – I’m glad you’re out there spreading both talent and estrogen around. Believe me, I understand Virgo perfectionism. I’m glad you’ve throttled back so you can just enjoy your time in the kitchen. 🙂
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There is a lot more … female today and that is great, but it’s a tough environment to be a woman in. Many bad and terrible jokes about everything … but many great too.
My blog was suppose to be a crockery book, but .. and I do recipes, but it’s so difficult to get good photos when it’s dark outside .. so recipes will come soon.
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Oooooh. I can’t wait to see your recipes. I have to make everything gluten free, but I can modify. 🙂
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So many people that has gluten. And I’m not very good on gluten free recipes .. more than salads, but I’m excellent on them. *smile
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UN-FREAKING-believable! You get tagged with these gems because you are the person who discovered and brought The Giant Coloring Book of Vaginas to my attention. Never mind that I am the person who subsequently purchased that book. Never mind that whoever wrote that book spent a great deal of time studying and sketching a variety of vaginas.
NEVER MIND if the kidnapped MORE COWBELL has been exposed to that and more.
With such a long hiatus from posting on my glob, I’ve been fretting over how to reenter the scene. What to do? What to do?
Bring the VAJAYJAY story front and center first with a pingback to Mama Jenny Jo, of course.
Thank you!
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Just so it. We miss you for heaven’s sake, Gloria 🙂
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You know, Miz Gloria. If you just posted a photo once in a while, you’d feel tons better about your glob. It would be active and you’d be WAY less stressed about it. (Just my $0.02 cuz I miss you to pieces!!!)
Ex:
Gloria, the packing dervish…. [photo]
Gloria cutting scenes like a madwoman… [photo]
Gloria camped out at Starbucks… [photo]
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Jenny, I can’t say that this is inspiring like The Vagina Chronicles … that was a statement about womanhood and a very powerful message to both men and women. These strange talents could be used to do so many wonderful things. Think of the talent and intelligence it takes to “hack,” and the amazing things those nasty people who create viruses could be doing with their brains.
No, no secrets. My talents are all out there. And in fact, the strangest thing I’ve ever done is a blog. I didn’t even know what that word meant until my daughter threw me head first into the 21st Century. However, it’s hardly a secret that once I got out there I had a fun time.
And it is sad that we need a special day, but let’s not forget that to the majority of the world, girls and women are seen as second rate, and in some cultures new-born girls are killed. Maybe India and China will succeed and kill all of us off. Let’s see what men can “produce” without us 🙂
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Whew! I promise you I wasn’t going for inspiring Florence. More like snarky philosophy.
However, this sentence brings me back to the sober plane: “And it is sad that we need a special day, but let’s not forget that to the majority of the world, girls and women are seen as second rate, and in some cultures new-born girls are killed.”
I will never, ever understand that kind of thinking. And I thank the Lord I was born in America, as challenged as we are right now.
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Well I’m betting the slew of snatch messages stems from it being women’s history month along with Int’l Women’s Day and VDay was still doing their 1 billion rising moving. It’s also talk to your kids about sex month and today is Nat’l Women and Girls HIV and AIDS Awareness Day. I know I’m a wealth of info today. But all these things involve talking about our reproductive health in some fashion.
One pre-wedding discipline I shall NOT be taking part in to look my best is learning to play the kazoo or any other instrument with my nether regions. So as you’re planning the cyber bachelorette party, do not purchase any noisemakers. Thank you.
P.S. I learned a new word last week. A cute uterus is referred to as a cuterus. Your welcome.
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Aaaaaahhh! I see, said the blind woman. Now i understand the plethora of cuterus jokes.
*note to self: NO noise-makers or vibratory objects at bachelorette party.* When is the big day set for now? I know it’s moved a bit.
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July 19th!
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Wowzers! So BlogHer and I are your honeymoon??
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We’re honeymooning before our wedding actually. LOL. With Joe’s gig schedule and all the festivals and such the band plays at, we had a small window of when we could fit everything in. So our honeymoon is in June. 😀
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Well, you know when we think vajayjay we think Jenny Hansen! 🙂
Heck,who doesn’t love a good vajayjay? Now that I know it’s the week to celebrate I’m gonna dive right in!
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Jenny, I need to send you an email. I’m at cronin501@gmail.com. Can you send me a note with your contact info? Thanks 🙂
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