Foolproof Fun for Valentine’s Day (Relationship NOT Required)

If they only made these gluten free…

Valentine’s Day is still a week away, and all of my single pals are already sick of it.

Everywhere (except this post) there are hearts and flowers, and proclamations to buy a bit of romance.

I’m not going to discuss any of that schmaltzy stuff here. No siree. We’re gonna discuss the practical side of this Hallmark holiday.

[And in my humble opinion, if you have to buy your romance, you’re doing it all wrong.]

The key to a fun Valentine’s Day, whether
you’re coupled up or single, is advanced planning.

The hubs and I think going out on V-Day is dining suicide, but if you must go out, for the love of Cupid, make a reservation! (I use www.OpenTable.com for this, which is 24/7.)

If you stay home with your honey, I’ve got a foolprooof 4-step plan:

1. If possible, send the kids out of the house, or put them to bed early.
2. Plan a simple meal that can be reheated if #3 takes a while.
3. Get naked.
4. Buy a great card in advance. (The great ones are long gone by the 14th.)

If you’re single, I’ve got something fun for you too. This is the blog about MORE.

Where were these things back when I was single?

The Russ Grow-A-Date Male is available at eBay for $2.95. (I got a male and a female at the local drug store for $2 each.) That’s cheaper than a rose or a box of chocolates!

Their marketing?

Place friend in room temp water.
Remain Untouched in water for several hours for full growth.
slowly shrinks to the smaller size when removed from water.
Your friend can be grown over and over again!!

I tell ya, these have it all over trying to force a date, especially in a new relationship (see below). The entertainment value alone is tremendous. Way better than a Chia pet.

Here’s a great example of Valentine angst (I about died when he rubbed his chest):

10 great reasons to “Grow Your Own” Valentine’s Date:

1. No worrying about said date wandering off (or leaving you).
2. No obnoxious texts before or after.
3. No emotional drama – y’all remember Alicia and “Get Off Me,” right?
4. Increases to 600% it’s normal size when wet (that part could be scary).
5. You can do whatever you want for Valentine’s Day.
6. Minimal clothes!
7. The “no poaching” rule doesn’t apply – feel free to share with your pals.
8. No crowds, unless you and your friends decide to “grow” together.
9. No worrying about “where your relationship is going.”
10. Do-It-Yourself-ing is COOL.

What are your plans for V-Day this year? Do you celebrate or ignore it? What about your best/worst Valentine’s Day ever? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

Donut above ~ photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc