The Biggest Threat To The Undie-verse EVER…

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen.

I had no idea when this series began that there were so many hilarious things to wear under our clothes. Keep sending them, people…I’m still having tons of fun frolicking in the world of Undies.

But what about those who don’t wear clothes at all?

My pal, Beth Yarnall, clued me in on the biggest threat to the Undie-verse since Joey went “commando” on Friends:

You guys! Last night I found my new favorite show on The Learning Channel (TLC)… Buying Naked. It’s nudists touring homes to buy.

Here’s what I learned from Buying Naked (it’s from TLC after all).

1 ) There’s competition amongst real estate agents to have nudists as clients. But never fear. Our intrepid real estate agent is herself a nudist although she wears clothes while showing her completely nude clients homes.

2 ) There is a whole nudist community in Florida, where the show takes place. And they’re not wrinkly old grandparents, they’re young and active. Active as in lots of bike riding, motorcycle riding, walking of dogs and walking out to the curb to pick up the mail.

3 ) TLC is allowed to show naked booty. Lots and LOTS of naked booty. And all of it tanned…we’re in Florida after all.

4 ) Tan lines are the mark of amateur nudists.

5 ) Apparently rounded corners are very important to nudists shopping for a new home. You don’t want a sharp corner jabbing your naked bits.

6 ) Nudists believe in BYOT- bring your own towel. (I can’t tell you how relieved I was to hear this!)

7) Nudists love to work out and thankfully employ the BYOT rule.

8 ) Nudists love bidets. (Of course they do!)

9 ) Counters need to be higher than the highest genitals. This is especially important in the kitchen. (Not something we planned for in our remodel a few years back!)

I’ll add my own #10 to Beth’s list:

10) Apparently Nudist Etiquette Rule #82 is “Nudists greet with handshakes; hugging is not recommended. (You think?) *giggling*

For more on the show, and a peek at their strategic covering of naughty bits:

That’s quite a find. Thank you very much, Beth!

The biggest threat to the Undie-verse is no undies at all.

What else did I learn?

• In Canada, they’re called “naturists.” There’s a Federation of Canadian Naturists if you care to explore it.
• If you want to live in a “clothing-optional” community, Pasco County in Florida is the place to be.
• If you watch that video, the strategic placement of items over genitalia will slay you because they use everything from drink shakers, to ceramic owls to file folders.
• Apparently nudists own LOTS of shoes but very little in the way of other everyday clothing. Who knew on the shoes, right?
• If you’re planning on going to a clothing-optional resort, there are rules! Here’s the lowdown about a resort in Dallas.
• You can follow the show on Twitter by searching out the #BuyingNaked hashtag.

Have you ever tried clothing-optional resorts or cruises? What did you think? What rules do you think should be in place? What would you do if you were the delivery people in the video? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny