The Biggest Threat To The Undie-verse EVER…

For Sale Sigh Real EstateThose of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen.

I had no idea when this series began that there were so many hilarious things to wear under our clothes. Keep sending them, people…I’m still having tons of fun frolicking in the world of Undies.

But what about those who don’t wear clothes at all?

My pal, Beth Yarnall, clued me in on the biggest threat to the Undie-verse since Joey went “commando” on Friends:

You guys! Last night I found my new favorite show on The Learning Channel (TLC)… Buying Naked. It’s nudists touring homes to buy.

Here’s what I learned from Buying Naked (it’s from TLC after all).

1 ) There’s competition amongst real estate agents to have nudists as clients. But never fear. Our intrepid real estate agent is herself a nudist although she wears clothes while showing her completely nude clients homes.

2 ) There is a whole nudist community in Florida, where the show takes place. And they’re not wrinkly old grandparents, they’re young and active. Active as in lots of bike riding, motorcycle riding, walking of dogs and walking out to the curb to pick up the mail.

3 ) TLC is allowed to show naked booty. Lots and LOTS of naked booty. And all of it tanned…we’re in Florida after all.

4 ) Tan lines are the mark of amateur nudists.

5 ) Apparently rounded corners are very important to nudists shopping for a new home. You don’t want a sharp corner jabbing your naked bits.

6 ) Nudists believe in BYOT- bring your own towel. (I can’t tell you how relieved I was to hear this!)

7) Nudists love to work out and thankfully employ the BYOT rule.

8 ) Nudists love bidets. (Of course they do!)

9 ) Counters need to be higher than the highest genitals. This is especially important in the kitchen. (Not something we planned for in our remodel a few years back!)

I’ll add my own #10 to Beth’s list:

10) Apparently Nudist Etiquette Rule #82 is “Nudists greet with handshakes; hugging is not recommended. (You think?) *giggling*

For more on the show, and a peek at their strategic covering of naughty bits:

That’s quite a find. Thank you very much, Beth!

The biggest threat to the Undie-verse is no undies at all.

What else did I learn?

  • In Canada, they’re called “naturists.” There’s a Federation of Canadian Naturists if you care to explore it.
  • If you want to live in a “clothing-optional” community, Pasco County in Florida is the place to be.
  • If you watch that video, the strategic placement of items over genitalia will slay you because they use everything from drink shakers, to ceramic owls to file folders.
  • Apparently nudists own LOTS of shoes but very little in the way of other everyday clothing. Who knew on the shoes, right?
  • If you’re planning on going to a clothing-optional resort, there are rules! Here’s the lowdown about a resort in Dallas.
  • You can follow the show on Twitter by searching out the #BuyingNaked hashtag.

Have you ever tried clothing-optional resorts or cruises? What did you think? What rules do you think should be in place? What would you do if you were the delivery people in the video? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm ( Write on!
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32 Responses to The Biggest Threat To The Undie-verse EVER…

  1. K.B. Owen says:

    O. M. G., Jenny! Love that placement in the pic above. Thank goodness they bring their own towels. But with some cute naked guy walking around, how do you talk about house things (sq footage, plumbing, A/C, etc) with a straight face? Probably backing to woods would be a desirable house feature, too. 😉 And what about opening/closing fridge doors, OVEN doors, dishwasher, and other appliances? It boggles the imagination.

    Thanks for the grins today!


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Yep, the hot stove and the freezer sound daunting to me. And did you see the guy in the video with the lawn blower strapped on his naked body? I’d be so very frightened to do that wearing only shoes!!


  2. Jenny, this is hilarious. Okay, first of all since 45% of the population of Floridians are over 50 I’d think they would have a special sub-division where wrinkly-sagging-bagging is part of the charm.

    And about talking to nude men? Spent a few afternoons on a nude beach on Fire Island and I can say that one of God’s mistakes was putting their stuff on the outside 🙂 The guys really need those towels !!


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL, Florence. I’d have to park my sunglasses on my face and shut my eyes on a nude beach. I don’t know how you’d be able to NOT look at anything.

      Yep, puritans are us here at More Cowbell…


  3. Bren says:

    LOL I’ve a very visual person and without even watching the video, I got the willies visualizing naked people touring homes. OMG! haha I’m in touch with my body but I’m not a fan for showing it off to the world. It think some things are better left for curiosity. I wonder what the ratings are for that show? 🙂


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Bren, I’ll bet the ratings rock. 🙂

      I had a pal try to get me to go to a clothing-optional resort. Her sales pitch was that I needed to “feel the sun and the air on my nipples.” No. Really, I don’t. In my experience, nudists/naturists feel very strongly about their “sun and air on the skin.”


  4. susielindau says:

    That is hilarious! I stumbled upon a naked adventure show and they looked so vulnerable while bush whacking though the under brush, I had to turn it off! YOUCH!


  5. Oh my!! I haven’t heard of this show, but may have to look it up, just for the hilarity potential. Not sure I can make it through more than one episode though. Does that make this show into a one-night stand? 😀


  6. tomwisk says:

    When I got around to posting yesterday I’d scanned the NYT and found an article for a clothing optional B&B in Colorado that offers a Rocky Mountain High. I need a vacation and I think I have glaucoma and the body has improved to where I kind of like it. Watched the video, how I missed the show I have no idea.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Tom, I’ll bet you have a fantastic time if you go. Nothing like a little Rocky Mountain sun and air IYKWIM. And PLEASE be sure to tell us all about it when you get back. 🙂


  7. Okay, I’m seriously DYING. No. No and more no. I keep my (sagging) naked bits well covered (and lifted as much as possible. LOLOL) I did accidentally wander into a nude beach area on Long Island when I was visiting my daughter who lives in NY. As we approached, I thought it was some kind of club, since they were all wearing beige swim suits. Then it dawned on me that there were no suits. It was cold. The water was cold. And the swimmers were not young. O.O

    Later, we’re driving and we passed Sag Harbor. I asked the hubs, weren’t we just there….?


  8. Julie Glover says:

    Long before that guy in the video came to his conclusion, I was thinking, “These people wouldn’t need all these rules if they’d just put on CLOTHES!” Also, instead of telling the delivery guy not to gawk at them, maybe the rule should be for the nudists to slap on a robe before answering the door. There’s a crazy idea!

    Look, if someone wants to go naked in their own home, knock yourself out. But a little covering up in public would be much appreciated for the rest of us. And appreciated by the makers of all those undies! (We can’t let that animals-boxer knitting lady go out of business, can we?)


  9. Cate Russell-Cole says:

    Is this “owl placement” somehow related to the fact that currently in Australia, things with owl motifs are appearing everywhere for sale: yes, even on Christmas paper plates. What is going on around here?


  10. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    Well, you know by now that I blog and comment in the nude so I guess I am half way there already, but I refuse to move to Florida!


  11. Groovy post! 🙂 I’ve never visited a nudists’ colony, but some years ago when my pretty conservative little sister visited me in Miami, we decided to have a picnic on the beach. I chose one, not realizing until we arrived that it was a topless beach. We were fully clothed, and stood out so much more than the nudies!


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Good Lord, August! That must’ve been an eye-popping trip. Two sweet gals from Minnesota on a topless beach. I’d have loved to be a fly on y’all’s towels. 🙂


  12. I have to say (if WordPress will let me post this comment…Wordpress has hated me for months), I have no interest in living in a nudest colony at all. I’m with Julie…what you do in your own home is fine – as long as it’s okay with everyone else who lives in your home. Pretty sure my son would prefer I keep my clothes on. 🙂


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