Family Christmas Parties Are SO Bloggable

Photo by Kristin Nador, WANA Commons

Photo by Kristin Nador, WANA Commons

Tis the season to party incessantly, isn’t it? And so much festivity packed into such a short time is bound to be filled with bloggable moments.

One such moment occurred this weekend when we went to an annual party with a crazy offshoot of extended family.

These are the kind of people who:

  • Burst into song, any old time at all.
  • Perform the nativity play each year (with costumes) at the aforementioned party.
  • Screech into your driveway on Thanksgiving and flash mob you, Gangnam Style.
  • Do The Tebow en masse as they walk down the street.
  • When hearing a police helicopter over their house, they run to the window to see how close it is. If it’s close, they rush to their car yelling, “Tight circle! Tight circle!”

In other words, they’re a hoot. I adore these people.

We missed the party last year because I was suffering through the end of my bout with shingles and didn’t have the energy.

So the question this year was, of course, WHERE WERE YOU? Then we had to explain shingles and the following conversation ensued with various cousins:

Cousin #1: What exactly is shingles?

Me: It’s a flare-up of the chicken pox virus and it attacks along a nerve.

Unidentified commenter: I know people like that.

Cousin #2: Which nerve?

Me: It could be anywhere. Unfortunately, I got mine on my head, so my greater occipital nerve was on fire everywhere. But some people get it by their heart, or along their ribs. I know one lady whose grandma got it on her upper thigh and her hoo-hah.

Cousin #2: WHAT? Her hoo-hah…as in her vajayjay?? Gah!

Me: Uh-huh.

Cousin #1: Whoa! TMI alert!! No talking about hoo-hahs. We’re eating.

She looked so alarmed, I let it drop. I sidled up to her later and said, “I didn’t mean to freak you out with the hoo-hah story. I’m sorry.”

She said, “Oh, I’m fine with it! We’re a ‘hoo-hah friendly’ family, you know.”

[Note: Since there’s fifteen girl cousins and only two boys, I’d kinda figured that out.]

Me: I swear, y’all are soooo bloggable.

And I’d thought she looked alarmed before…

What about your family parties? Any bloggable moments or faux pas? What about those conversations you’re trying to forget? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm ( Write on!
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13 Responses to Family Christmas Parties Are SO Bloggable

  1. Jane Sadek says:

    Were I to blog about family parties, some family member would wander to my blog who had never been before and turn the whole family against me. A little on the starched side, if you know what I mean.


  2. Jenny, my family is so bloggable, I use them in a series of stories. Of course, to save myself from law suits or death threats, I change the names and take tremendous poetic license with what might or might not have happened. But when you grow up with 57 varieties of crazy Italians you’ve got to find a way to tell their stories 🙂 Gotta love those hoo-hah stories but that poor woman will never be the same again 🙂


  3. zkullis says:

    Jenny, it sounds like our families could be related. I was at a family party Saturday, and there was hardly a moment when somebody wasn’t splitting their sides from laughing.

    We had roughly 80 adults. The gamut of this group is pretty broad. We have my 92 year-old 6’2″ WWII vet Grandpa that is either telling a joke for the 1 millionth time or is laughing because he has embarrased his wife “once again”. Grandma is just a touch under 5 foot, is as feisty as she is short, and tries her damndest to keep us all proper (it never works). The rest of the group of 80 offers a potent combination for bloggable moments and faux pas.

    The white elephant gift exchange is always the highlight of the party. Here is a small list of some of the 80 items that were gifted: breast impants (my sister is a nurse), pink bloomers with frill galore (these ended up on my Grandpa’s head), a pair of g-string (almost micro) panties that were in the box that my Grandpa picked up, Poo-Pouri (my contribution), a “European Barbie” that my cousin gifted (a re-wrapped Barbie with hair attached to all of the right places), and a bubble blowing machine that sends the bubbles out of Saint Nick’s bare ass.

    The comments and stories for each of these gifts were simply to die for. Good times!


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Zack, it’s clear that you need to post those white elephant gifts WITH PICTURES. Soon. That is totally my kind of party. May Gloria and I crash next year’s? They’d adopt us immediately. *giggling*

      p.s. Glad the Poo-Pourri was included…it’s a gift that keeps on giving IYKWIM. 🙂


  4. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    I have been warned to keep my family off the blog. Or else!

    So sorry to hear you had shingles. That is painful. I see those tv commercials on all the time now.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Yep, I had it last year and it SUCKED. I had a headache every day for two months. Blurg!

      That’s funny that your peeps have declared your blog to be a no-family Zone. Mine get too much enjoyment out of seeing me tease the Bag Whore to ban me. 🙂


  5. I spent my first year with my husband’s father’s second wife’s family, all of whom are French Canadian. And I don’t speak a word of French. It was intimidating, but fun. I had to retreat into solitude (i.e. start on my “Christmas money reading list”) for awhile, since the more they drank, the more they mixed French and English… and I couldn’t understand a word they were saying! But they sure know how to have a good time. 😀


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      So they ARE bloggable…but only if you have a translator. I think I’d be walking around with the translator app on my phone, just to entertain myself. 🙂

      Happy New Year!


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