A Must-Have Stocking Stuffer for My Germaphobic Pals

Natalie Hartford’s husband, aka Bat Hubby, found today’s product and issued a blog challenge. I heard there’s gonna be Bat Hubby Awards for the winner so DO be sure to ring your cowbell in the comments. We need to show him which posse deserves the trophy!

I’m gonna confess it: there have been times in my parenting life when I’d have been tempted buy this product.

Almost every parent knows that moment I’m thinking of…when you walk into your child’s room and your nose twitches, and your eyes go wide and begin to water.

Your child has discovered their poo and decided it’s FUN.

That same child has discovered how to remove their diaper and painted, rolled or slathered every bit of poo he or she could find, on things you never intended to poo-ize: walls, sheets, books, their crib. Their face.

Your demon spawn cooing angel smiles that gap-toothed grin at you and looks so proud of their accomplishment. Meanwhile, you want to hork in the floor and wrap yourself in latex before you touch anything.

THAT is the moment when you long for a Hazmat suit and a case of Shittens.

Their product summary:

If there’s one great universal truth that we can all agree on, it’s this: No one wants poop on their hands.

And yet, we laugh carelessly in the face of danger every time we take an old fashioned wet wipe to our heinies, flying completely blind in the critical poop-to-hand spatial relation.

How many times have you taken one of those substandard wet wipes to the posterior of a child, risking major contamination from that flailing poop cloth? And how many times has your dog’s “number two” been a little closer to a number one “and a half”, requiring a deadly grab & pull maneuver with whatever’s laying around? Enough is enough!

With new Shittens, you can fully protect your hands while tending to the dirty deed.

You know what universal truth I can agree to? $0.50 per wipe is WAY too expensive. I don’t think it’s worth it to me, just to not get poo anywhere near those hands I can wash. Call me cheap, but I can get eight hundred regular baby wipes at Target for the same price Amazon has for twenty of these “mittens.”

Important price note: You get five bucks off by going straight to the Shittens site, as opposed to $14.99 at Amazon. Just sayin… Considering the 20-mitt limit, ALL savings are important in my book.

But this Amazon 5-star review sums up who this product is really for:

14 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Shittens Saved my money and my life
By Bill on October 26, 2013

As a hypochondriac I wash my hands and use hand sanitizer 15 to 40 times a day. Being disposable, I just put a fresh pair on before and after I do my business in the bathroom. Then simply put on a third fresh pair and I am germ free for at least an hour. Shake hands? No more intense scrub after, just new shittens. I’m not saying shittens are the end all to being clean. I’m just saying I don’t have N2H2.

Thasss right. This product is for the Monks of the world. The germaphobics who practically pass out pondering the possibility of poo on their paws.

My daughter’s godfather LOVES her. He adores that child to absolute pieces and will spend hours with her. That being said, my germaphobic pal would break out in a cold sweat at the idea of seeing the inside of her diaper.

If Babykins had taken any longer to get potty trained, I’d have totally bought a package of these for Papa Michael’s peace of mind.

I’ll confess that, after the genius marketing and ads put out by Poo-Pourri and Shreddies, I’m feeling a bit let down by the peeps at https://www.getshittens.com/. The video below is downright boring by comparison:

What moments in your life would have tempted you to buy these germaphobic mitts? Do you have pals that would love this as a stocking stuffer? What other must-have stocking stuffers do we need to know about? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny