A Must-Have Stocking Stuffer for My Germaphobic Pals

Natalie Hartford’s husband, aka Bat Hubby, found today’s product and issued a blog challenge. I heard there’s gonna be Bat Hubby Awards for the winner so DO be sure to ring your cowbell in the comments. We need to show him which posse deserves the trophy!

Shittens_Banner

I’m gonna confess it: there have been times in my parenting life when I’d have been tempted buy this product.

Almost every parent knows that moment I’m thinking of…when you walk into your child’s room and your nose twitches, and your eyes go wide and begin to water.

Your child has discovered their poo and decided it’s FUN.

That same child has discovered how to remove their diaper and painted, rolled or slathered every bit of poo he or she could find, on things you never intended to poo-ize: walls, sheets, books, their crib. Their face.

Your demon spawn cooing angel smiles that gap-toothed grin at you and looks so proud of their accomplishment. Meanwhile, you want to hork in the floor and wrap yourself in latex before you touch anything.

THAT is the moment when you long for a Hazmat suit and a case of Shittens.

Shittens_PackagingShittens_Zoom

Their product summary:

If there’s one great universal truth that we can all agree on, it’s this: No one wants poop on their hands.

And yet, we laugh carelessly in the face of danger every time we take an old fashioned wet wipe to our heinies, flying completely blind in the critical poop-to-hand spatial relation.

How many times have you taken one of those substandard wet wipes to the posterior of a child, risking major contamination from that flailing poop cloth? And how many times has your dog’s “number two” been a little closer to a number one “and a half”, requiring a deadly grab & pull maneuver with whatever’s laying around? Enough is enough!

With new Shittens, you can fully protect your hands while tending to the dirty deed.

You know what universal truth I can agree to? $0.50 per wipe is WAY too expensive. I don’t think it’s worth it to me, just to not get poo anywhere near those hands I can wash. Call me cheap, but I can get eight hundred regular baby wipes at Target for the same price Amazon has for twenty of these “mittens.”

Important price note: You get five bucks off by going straight to the Shittens site, as opposed to $14.99 at Amazon. Just sayin… Considering the 20-mitt limit, ALL savings are important in my book.

But this Amazon 5-star review sums up who this product is really for:

14 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Shittens Saved my money and my life
By Bill on October 26, 2013

As a hypochondriac I wash my hands and use hand sanitizer 15 to 40 times a day. Being disposable, I just put a fresh pair on before and after I do my business in the bathroom. Then simply put on a third fresh pair and I am germ free for at least an hour. Shake hands? No more intense scrub after, just new shittens. I’m not saying shittens are the end all to being clean. I’m just saying I don’t have N2H2.

Thasss right. This product is for the Monks of the world. The germaphobics who practically pass out pondering the possibility of poo on their paws.

My daughter’s godfather LOVES her. He adores that child to absolute pieces and will spend hours with her. That being said, my germaphobic pal would break out in a cold sweat at the idea of seeing the inside of her diaper.

If Babykins had taken any longer to get potty trained, I’d have totally bought a package of these for Papa Michael’s peace of mind.

I’ll confess that, after the genius marketing and ads put out by Poo-Pourri and Shreddies, I’m feeling a bit let down by the peeps at https://www.getshittens.com/. The video below is downright boring by comparison:


What moments in your life would have tempted you to buy these germaphobic mitts? Do you have pals that would love this as a stocking stuffer? What other must-have stocking stuffers do we need to know about? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
This entry was posted in Humor, Parenting and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to A Must-Have Stocking Stuffer for My Germaphobic Pals

  1. Natalie (MIA) Hartford's Hubby says:

    If I had a poo-covered left hand holding 2 quarters or a poo-covered shitten on the right with my clean hand nestled inside the lush, poo-free interior. I’d toss those 2 crappy quarters at the shitten sales rep like a monkey flinging poop for the camera!

    I love discovering people’s value system….so basically your hand is for sale or poop decoration for anything under 50 cents.

    At what point would you keep the clean hand and unclench your spare change? 4 dimes, 2 dimes and a nickle?

    Where do you draw the line in the diaper?

    Bat Hubby (Formally Hubby from Hubby’s Corner)

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      But see, Bat Hubby, I’m thinking of the l-o-o-ong haul for baby cleanup and you go through THOUSANDS of wipes in a 3 year period. Thousands. If you divide that by twenty (the magic packaging number for Shittens), you’ll see why I cringe at the price tag. It’s not the single use of $0.50, it’s the multiplier.

      So, I draw the line in the diaper based on my pocketbook and how friggin’ expensive babies are. Trust me on this one – I’d rather wash my hands up to the elbow and continue affording my once a month date night with my Hubs.

      Like

  2. Laura Drake says:

    Poop is not indelible.
    Ancient man made soap.
    New and improved, it has anti-bacterial agents.

    Poop happens, people.
    Deal.

    Signed,
    The Cheapest Broad on the Planet.
    (No, really – I’d dig out the two dimes and a nickel from Grubby Hubby’s hand.)

    Like

  3. aman says:

    hello,

    peace of mind over wealth accumulation, and view longer life expectancies as a chance to explore new options and/or pursue old dreams.

    Like

  4. Jane Sadek says:

    What I liked best about the reviewer was that they identified themselves as a hypochondriac. Who does that? All the hypochondriacs I know think they are fine and the rest of the world just doesn’t know how sick they are.

    Like

  5. Diana Beebe says:

    Soooo, these things are disposable, but are they flushable?

    Hilarious product though.🙂

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      All I know, Diana, is that there are times when I’d have used these suckers if they were on my changing table. You’ve got kidlets, you KNOW what I mean. How do they produce that much….stuff??!

      Like

  6. ROFL!!

    I gotta be honest. I see the value.

    Once upon a time, a pending bride and groom left me to watch their child while they readied for the nuptials. There was no one else. Just sayin’! It was promised that the 1ish-year-old had done his business. Alas when I lifted him out of his high chair, I was greeted by the god awfulest back poo explosion. I’d of paid hundreds for a shitten!!!

    Not to mention, and I am just going to be honest here because I know this is a safe and secure place to share, there have been the odd times (and I mean ODD times) where I have “missed” unknowingly with the toilet paper only to have poor bat hubby to come along later and wish desperately for a handy dandy shitten.

    ROFL!!!

    Hubby and I roared laughing over this one Jenny. Toooooo good. Wait till you see the bat hubby video to come. We were brainstorming yesterday. God help us all. LOL.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I can just imagine you, freaking over the poo explosion. We all feel that way sometimes. And now I’m roaring at the idea of you and Bat Hubby, needing this product for YOURSELVES.

      *snorting with laughter, and might have tinkled a little bit*

      Like

  7. PM says:

    most items that say they are flushable, are not. If you go on the SHITTENS.COM page they say how to dispose of them and thay are the one of the few companies who embrace the “do not flush” philosophy. Spoke to the inventor’s wife yesterday about them. Picked up 3 packs of them at a pet expo in NJ yesterday and think they are great

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      See, I’m one of those with an ALWAYS FLUSH philosophy, PM. I embraced the Singapore law that fines people $150 for not flushing a public toilet. Love it! I think that’s great that Mr. Shitten’s wife is going green and all that, but I’m a flusher.

      That being said, we put our regular wipes in the Diaper Genie, and that’s where these used mittens would likely go too.🙂

      Like

  8. Oh, Jenny! Every single item you feature is perfect for my 19 year old son!!! I am going to go over budget for him this Christmas! Shreddies underwear are so expensive! Hilarious! Glad your baby is potty trained.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I am absolutely delighted that I’ve not outgrown my gift for 19 year-old “dude humor.” I feel so young now.🙂

      And p.s. I am SO glad my baby is finally potty trained. I did NOT enjoy that process…

      Like

  9. zkullis says:

    You’re Shitten me, that is soo funny!

    I found a few that I thought were GREAT. My family always has a white elephant gift exchange, and I’ve rocked them for the last two years. I’m always looking out for a great gift.

    The first one, well, wow. I saw a comment that about sums it up – “Because you shouldn’t have to wait until you have breasts to breastfeed.”

    I think breast feeding is great. (being serious here, but I know this comment is begging for snark) The medical benefits and the bonding from breast feeding can’t be argued against. I don’t care if it’s done in public either. I’ve lived in some countries where it’s the norm. But, do we really need a doll like this for girls to figure it out and be able to breast feed later in life? Ladies have been figuring out how to properly use their mamory glands for some time now.

    http://www.amazon.com/Berjuan-BER1502-Bebe-Gloton-Breastfeeding/dp/B002QIWRA0

    The second product doesn’t need much explaining. If you have seen as many of those stick figure families on the backs of cars and trucks as I’ve seen, they you will appreciate the beauty behind this. On a side note, the frequently bought together list of items is just as fun. 😉

    http://www.amazon.com/Making-Family-Figure-sticker-censored/dp/B00CFUBUV6

    Like

  10. Jess Witkins says:

    REALLY??? I’m becoming more of a germ-freak as I age, but I could’ve marketed this better. You’re right, their commercial is flat. I did appreciate the tagline on the packaging exclaiming “cause poop is gross!” That was a nice touch. What a horrible name though! Poo-pourri for the win in my book!

    Like

  11. tomwisk says:

    You’re working your way into territory that’s getting funnier and funnier. I pee your pants funny. I have a question: Does the Logo have a name? Shittsky? And I don’t have children, my choice. That being said I’ve seen a cute tyke cover a room with poo and leaving a puddle in the center of the room. Happy Thanksgiving Jenny!

    Like

  12. Sue says:

    Another win! Poo-Pourri and the Shreddies are better, but I used to do daycare in my home back in the day and had a few times a Shitten would have come in mighty handy. Soap and water are fine when it’s your own or your kids’ poo, but when it’s non-family poo…that’s another story. Also would be good for those times you have to clean up barf (family, non-family, or animal – all just as gross). As for the “taking off the diaper/exploration of poop” stage – neither of my kids did this, but one of my daycare kids did, right down to the Smearing of the Poo on Every Available Surface Within Reach. As you know, on a toddler, that reach is pretty darn long. I would have paid whatever price they were asking for a Shitten that day.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You are exactly right that “other people’s kids” poo is way grosser than your own. I don’t know why, but it is so.

      My own taking off the diaper was bad enough. If it had been an OPK $h*t storm, I think I’d have wanted to start drinking before 5 pm. Thanks for making me smile, Sue!

      Like

  13. S.J. Maylee says:

    I have no words. I’m just laughing too hard.😀

    Like

  14. The Regular Guy NYC says:

    A women after my own heart who isn’t afraid to make funny posts about poo. I think you just raised your sexiness level!

    Hope you and the family had a great Thanksiving!

    Like

Comments are closed.