Blogging Rant: Other Sites Get Better Spam Than I Do

Just popping in for a little rant today. After clearing out the Spam files over at Writers In The Storm, I’m feeling a little jealous.

My group blog site gets much more useful spam than I do here at More Cowbell!

Over here it’s all free sex, penis enlargement and banana bread. Sometimes I get some weight loss tips to balance out the banana bread.

But over THERE it’s sunglass deals, shopping and cures for yeast infections. They get sports equipment (insert an IYKWIM here) and shopping? And I get bubkes. (That’s Yiddish slang for nothing.)

What’s up with that, Askimet? What. Is. Up. With. That?

What kind of cool spam do you get? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~ Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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51 Responses to Blogging Rant: Other Sites Get Better Spam Than I Do

  1. filbio says:

    Free sex, penis enlargement, and banana bread is the reason we all come here!

    Funny, I am writing another blog post on my spam as a follow up to this one –

    http://blog.theregularguynyc.com/?p=3285

    Like

  2. If I believe my spam filter, I’m apparently in need of a Russian bride, lower interest rates on my credit cards, a cheap Rolex, and a car I can get for cheap because it was impounded as part of a drug bust.

    Dang, ain’t life good?😉

    Like

  3. Well – I don’t get many humdingers – had to search over the last month. I wrote a couple blog posts about porn addiction – so I get a lot of searches about porn – not always relevant to what I blogged about. These stood out:
    “if you’re not gonna say a word about this then i’ll come up with an excuse to dismiss myself. here’s the fence and this is me leaping off it. we’ve been alley cats” <- what?
    "my panties at the end of the day" <-*raises brows* rough day?
    "fairy tail porn lisa" <- this is funnier if you don't correct the grammar
    "i love to wear a thick diaper and high back plastic pants" <-don't want to know!

    Like

  4. Sharla Rae says:

    Some of mine start out, My dearest darling, I am writing this from nowhereisstan where I am stuck because a pickpocket assulted me. Can you please send me $$$ so that I can return to smalltown USA and I will gladly repay you if you include your bank name and account number. Blessings.

    Like

  5. Michael says:

    I got a sweet message from a “24-year-old virgin” today who thinks I’m cute, and wants to get to know me better. Usually it’s kind old ladies who need my help to transfer funds out of some African country.

    Like

  6. Luanne says:

    I get lots of sunglasses, shoes, and offers to help me do better on my blog.

    Like

  7. aerobabe619 says:

    Once again im laughing my rear off,i keep reading your blog,,i should be a size three by winter.Thank you for that.I seem to get the single over 50? no im 49 thank you! and good corrective shoes,look like Frankenstein boots,and the free(shhh..samples of poise pads) ..nice huh? lmao great post Jenny.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Frankenstein boots…now those sound kind of cool and interesting. I’ll bet they have lots of zippers (IYKWIM).😀

      p.s. If laughter actually worked at shrinking the butt cheeks, I’d have a tiny hiney. Alas, it does not.

      Like

  8. tomwisk says:

    My spam folder has a lot for Viagra, Cialis, penis enlargement, life insurance, people who want to publish my book (for a fee), meeting and dating local Asians, African-Americans, Latinas, women over forty, fifty, Wal-Mart. Office Depot, America’s Test Kitchen and every book club, book store known. Have considered some of the dating sites but I wouldn’t want to disappoint some nice lady.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      ..”meeting and dating local Asians, African-Americans, Latinas”..

      It’s nice that your spammers want to help you spread the love across cultures, if you know what I’m saying… I’m telling you, I could browse spam folders for HOURS.

      Like

  9. Erica says:

    Most of my spam is written in Chinese, but sometimes I do get offers for watches and Coach bags. Today, though? A public service notice that hitting a child in the head with a basketball is unacceptable. (Party poopers…)

    Like

  10. Laura Drake says:

    Russian & Oriental brides, and horny neighbors.

    If I only still had hormones and a hankering for women, I’d be in heaven.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Yeah, you would. Although, I’d think you’d be in the market for some horny neighbors after all this moving you’re doing. They’d sure liven things up in a small town.

      Like

  11. susielindau says:

    I learned to never delete spam. WP does it for you. If you delete it, the spam may leak through the filter…. I used to do that and all of a sudden I was inundated on my blog with all kinds of “Hello your blog not load properly in good time therefore.”
    I do still check it once in a while to make sure none of my friends end up sucked into the vortex!!!

    Like

  12. Diana Beebe says:

    I get offered all kinds of shopping opportunities, IYKWIM.

    One spammer said, “You are my breathing in…” *Swoon* So what if the rest of the sentence made absolutely no sense?

    Askimet says my spam hits are doubling every month. I sure wish my bank account did that!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      That would be a fabulous bank trick wouldn’t it? However, we’ve decided that tons of good spam means “you’ve arrived.” Do you have any trolls yet? That’s when you REALLY know you are stellar.🙂

      p.s. I’ve got to whip that “breathing in” line out in one of Hubby’s cards someday soon…

      Like

  13. Weight loss, beauty products, blar, blar, blar. The most interesting one was an epic spam comment (several screens of scrolling-hey, internet 12 days of Christmas? You should do that Jenny-I digress) ostensibly about Web hosting that contained within it a link to Rough Sex, repeated enough to fill six lines of text, then variations on the theme filling another nine. All links that I’m sure would tank my blog and maybe all of WordPress if I clicked on them (!)

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I hate it when they make their spam all long-winded like that. I’ve been known to do some 12 days of Christmas ditties…I’ll have to put my brain to that one, Melanie.🙂 A fine idea!!

      Like

  14. K.B. Owen says:

    Oh, wow, Jenny, you explore the craziest things. Of course I had to look at my spam after this! Here’s one: “conflicting typically the mountain peak an individual to look bowel rotating route, your dog stepped all the way up plus uneasy, who|what person} manufactured, that is definitely.” What’s a “bowel rotating route”? And my non-existent dog stepped in it? Dang.

    Like

    • Cate Russell-Cole says:

      I don’t think rotating any body organs is medically advisable… weird!

      Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I don’t know what a bowel rotating routine is, only that we don’t want one!

      You know what I do want to know…who writes all these spam messages? And where is the “spam bank” located? They’re all so similar, you know they’re bought at the same place. Crazy people…

      Like

  15. Cate Russell-Cole says:

    All they do is lecture me on SEO and ask for more information, whilst trying to send me to some dodgy sales site. No one has offered me a Russian bride. #foreveralone

    Like

  16. I have been waiting all my life to read this in one sentence. “Over here it’s all free sex, penis enlargement and banana bread.” That really takes the cake. I mean banana bread. Oh, whatever. I have to pay more attention to my spam folder. I just hit delete and never pay attention. Boy, am I ever missing out. Although, how do spammers get by Akismet, when other bloggers who have frequented my blog numerous times get kicked into spam? That one makes no sense to me.🙂

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      The only reason why I always know what’s in the spam folder is I sort by author. This lets me find any real messages much faster AND it makes the 15 banana bread and 12 gratis sex comments really stand out.🙂

      Like

  17. Jane Sadek says:

    None of mine is so cool, but I’m amazed that they are all so enamored with my About Page. What’s up with that?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I get tons of comments to the About page too. And to the Undie Chronicles. They start giving me comments like the ones Lisa referenced above. I can’t only imagine what I’ll get after Monday’s post on American porn-viewing habits. Oi.

      Like

  18. Lately much of mine have been written in Asian symbols, push Air Jordans and expensive purses and shoes (if only they knew I loved flip-flops). I also get a fair amount of erotic spas and Japanese erotic art.

    Like

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