It’s National Underwear Day! Celebrate With More Cowbell…

Photo from www.instructables.com ~ (I'm not seeing any support there...what about you?)

Photo from http://www.instructables.com ~ (I’m not seeing any support there…what about you?)

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles.

The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen. If you’re keeping track, this is Volume 17.

If this post isn’t exciting enough for you, I thought I’d share: Today is National Underwear Day!

If you’re anywhere near Times Square, today is the day to help break the Guiness Book of World Records for the largest gathering of people seen in their underwear. I’m just sayin’…

The current record is 2,270. The hashtag to spread the word is #NUD2013. And there’s some fun-filled rules for this magic undie event. They are as follows:

We encourage you to show your individuality and confidence by wearing your favorite undies, but in order to break the Guinness World Record we all must adhere to the following guidelines.

  1. Men must be wearing underpants, boxers, boxer briefs or briefs. They cannot be wearing shirts, undershirts, or jock straps.
  2. Women must wear underpants, thongs (not too revealing; allowed on a case-by-case basis), shapewear or boyshorts (that are clearly underwear). Shirts or full coverage bras are also permitted.
  3. All participants can wear socks and shoes.
  4. If it rains, ponchos are not permitted but umbrellas are.

For those of you NOT in Times Square, baring your bits, I bring you THE CLAP-OFF BRA.

Note: Do not wear this lingerie to sporting events or concert halls!!

Actually, after reading the invention notes on this product, I kind of recommend you don’t wear it at all. They refer to it as “gaudy electronic lingerie.”

I don’t know about about you, but electronic and lingerie don’t really go together in my book. They certainly shouldn’t go together near any of my sensitive bits, IYKWIM. Let’s see if you agree or disagree:

We finally decided that we were going to get a large metal button, coat it in nitrocellulose and create a brief incendiary event that would burn the thread away. Hence, when the thread burns away, the button would fall off and the bra would open.

Fortunately for whatever poor girl who was going to have to wear this, that approach did not work either.

No matter what thread we used, we could never get it to fully incinerate and release the button. This disheartened us and the project was laid to rest yet again.

A year or so passed and I decided to try an idea that Noah and I discussed in passing, but never executed upon. The fourth iteration involved pulling the pin out of the center of a hinge, such that by removing the pin, the bra would separate. We initially didn’t want to do this because it would involve using a large motor attached to the bra and this didn’t seem very ‘classy.’

As if we’d ever think a clap-off bra was classy. There’s really nothing like combining geeks with breast support, is there? And really, this takes “bra burning” to a whole nother level! Sure, light breasts on fire. On purpose. Does anyone else sense a little problem here??

My husband thinks adolescent boys (of whatever age) will be walking around doing applause flash mobs.

If you’d like to see the actual five second video, click here. This could get dangerous really fast, especially if a large-breasted woman ever tried to wear one of these…

Would you either buy or wear a clap-off bra? What are your thoughts about other products that need a “Clap-Off” feature? Any plans to drop in on Times Square for this evening’s record-breaking event?? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

~Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
This entry was posted in Humor, Undie Chronicles and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to It’s National Underwear Day! Celebrate With More Cowbell…

  1. emmaburcart says:

    A clap-off bra? No way! I’d much rather meet a man who can snap a bra undone without touching it, like Joey on Friends. (Or was it Fonzi on Happy Days? I can’t remember, but I know I’ve seen it done.)

    Like

  2. Jenny Jo! The thing that made me laugh most was your “as if we’d ever think a clap-off bra was classy” line. Those are the exact words tumbling around in my noggin before I scrolled to your comment.

    Yes.

    It scares me, too.

    Hey! We have someone near and dear to The Cowbell Posse who lives in New York City. Triple Dog Dare you, Phil. Take More Cowbell to the party. We need pictures. Oh! And, please wear white socks with loafers. The visual of dudes walking around in tightie whities with socks and shoes totally cracks me up turns me on.

    As for other electronic undies, were I not so staid and sane, I might say that the vibrating panties might be a total HOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot. IYKWIM.

    Like

  3. Piper Bayard says:

    You just scooped me for The End is Near and got me into a chain of video watching that ate up a half hour of my morning. Great work!🙂

    Like

  4. Laura Drake says:

    National Underwear Day, falling on a Monday at More Cowbell? Jenny must be giggling in glee.
    No support – falls off it I sneeze? I’d rather have a package that’s a bit more of a challenge to unwrap, thank you very much.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh, I definitely giggled, Laura. With me working this gig in San Fran, I had to give up my 2013 dreams to be co-Panty Princess with Natalie Hartford in the NUD parade!

      *sigh*

      Like

  5. I am killing myself over your husband’s flash-mob line. Ode to DH’s with senses of humo(u)r, eh?

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  6. Would I ever wear one? HELL NO! When the word ‘incinerate’ is used together with bra and breasts…yeah. Not. Just not.

    It was amusing to read about however. Makes me wonder about the guinea pig they used to test their inventions though.🙂

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  7. Wow. Just wow. I don’t even know what to say about a Clap Off bra. But…can we get Clap Off Jeans for men?😉

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  8. Oh sure. This little number was definitely made by a man. Isn’t it supposed to be “Clap on , clap off”? Of course he would focus only on the clap off part. But even so, this leaves me cold. I mean, there is no touchy-feely, warm and fuzzy, excited feeling that you get when your guy unhooks that baby. No telling where you found this Jenny Hansen. I, for one, have never heard of the National Underwear Day. But in it’s honor, I will make sure I wear a clean pair.🙂

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Yeah, I didn’t hear the part about “clapping on” either. That must still be in production. I totally get that these are like spam-bot undies: You don’t have to touch the person to rip their clothing off. Not so sexy…

      (Unlike National Underwear Day!)

      Like

  9. tomwisk says:

    Again, in the minority, I’ve got to say forty or fifty years ago I would have applauded the idea. Now I find my manual dexterity has diminished to the point that should the occasion arise I’ll let the lady do the honors, it’s a tad sexier. And, I watched the video,damn my prurient nature.

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  10. Julie Glover says:

    I’m just still stuck on the show-up-in-public-wearing-thongs suggestion. I think I’ll celebrate National Underwear Day by replacing my ugliest pair of undies with something nicer. A safer option, I think.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      It IS really hot in New York right now, you know. The thongs help the air circulate…

      I thought you always wore top-notch undies covered in rainbows and kittens, Julie. I can’t believe there’s anything ugly in that drawer of yours.

      Like

  11. A combustible bra that you wear and will come off with the clap of a hand – now there’s something I could definitely use. And, seeing’s how I don’t already have one, I’m putting this baby on my Christmas list. Cuz when I need my bra to come off, I need it off right freakin’ NOW.

    What next? Clap off condoms? Hmmm

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      BAHAHAHAHAHA! I died laughing in my training room over this comment. Thanks for the giggle-snort, Patricia…I needed it!

      Like

      • I’m actually thinking of designing some matching clap off panties. That item makes more sense to me because sometimes – when you really gotta go – what would be handier than running to the john, applauding all the way, then just squatting and letting her go? No pulling down or out of your butt crack, just clap clap – bam!

        This clap off clothing thing is a gold mine I tell you.

        Patricia

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  12. K.B. Owen says:

    I knew you’d be able to work that “clap-off bra” in a post, Jenny! What took you so long?😉

    I like that “case by case basis” for women in thongs – who’s making THAT call? LOL!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I’m the traveling exhausted girl…that’s what took me so long. I couldn’t even remember if it was you or the naughty Julie that sent it to me!

      I know…that case-by-case slayed me.🙂

      Like

  13. I’d totally wear a Clap-Off bra! Any bra that comes off easily is groovy in my book.🙂 Happy Underwear Day, Panty Queen!

    Like

  14. ROFL!! Patricia killed me with clap off condoms!!!

    Hubby showed me the video while on our travels this weekend. He looked at me with eyes filled with hopes and anticipation of seeing in me in the clap-off bra…”look what Jenny found…I think it’s great…wanna get one???”

    Not that I like or want to be a hubby dream killer but…a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do!

    I told him when he gets a clap-off c*ck sock to try first, then we could talk!

    LOL!!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Actually, Kathy Owen gets discovery credit for this one. (I couldn’t remember if it was her or Julie Glover until she reminded me in the comments…they’re both NAUGHTY.)

      I agree: You’ve got way too much boobage to wear a clap-off bra anywhere but straight to bed. Perhaps he can get you one that doesn’t leave that room?

      Thanks for stopping by. I’ll be giggle-snorting all day over the image of you and hubby, riding in a golf cart and watching clap-off videos. *clutches sides laughing*

      Like

  15. Um, no. LOL Gravity is already trying to, er, pull me down. No reason to make it faster. LOL

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  16. Sharla Rae says:

    Not for me.🙂 Removal by hand is much sexier. But I have to agree it’s a very funny idea. Teen boys everywhere will be waiting to see them for sale in Victoria’s Secret.

    Like

  17. filbio says:

    As a native New Yorker who lives in the city I avoid Times Square like the plague!
    Seriously, some of these people should never take their clothes off in public!
    As for removing a bra from a lady I’m with I usually use my teeth!

    Like

  18. Pingback: #GirlBoner Hilarity: In Seek of Non-Sexist Jokes | August McLaughlin's Blog

  19. I wanted to leave a brief note, but I left my laptop under there. Under where?

    ^ Lamest comment ever. You’re welcome.

    Like

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