Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles.
The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen. If you’re keeping track, this is Volume 17.
If this post isn’t exciting enough for you, I thought I’d share: Today is National Underwear Day!
If you’re anywhere near Times Square, today is the day to help break the Guiness Book of World Records for the largest gathering of people seen in their underwear. I’m just sayin’…
The current record is 2,270. The hashtag to spread the word is #NUD2013. And there’s some fun-filled rules for this magic undie event. They are as follows:
We encourage you to show your individuality and confidence by wearing your favorite undies, but in order to break the Guinness World Record we all must adhere to the following guidelines.
- Men must be wearing underpants, boxers, boxer briefs or briefs. They cannot be wearing shirts, undershirts, or jock straps.
- Women must wear underpants, thongs (not too revealing; allowed on a case-by-case basis), shapewear or boyshorts (that are clearly underwear). Shirts or full coverage bras are also permitted.
- All participants can wear socks and shoes.
- If it rains, ponchos are not permitted but umbrellas are.
For those of you NOT in Times Square, baring your bits, I bring you THE CLAP-OFF BRA.
Note: Do not wear this lingerie to sporting events or concert halls!!
Actually, after reading the invention notes on this product, I kind of recommend you don’t wear it at all. They refer to it as “gaudy electronic lingerie.”
I don’t know about about you, but electronic and lingerie don’t really go together in my book. They certainly shouldn’t go together near any of my sensitive bits, IYKWIM. Let’s see if you agree or disagree:
We finally decided that we were going to get a large metal button, coat it in nitrocellulose and create a brief incendiary event that would burn the thread away. Hence, when the thread burns away, the button would fall off and the bra would open.
Fortunately for whatever poor girl who was going to have to wear this, that approach did not work either.
No matter what thread we used, we could never get it to fully incinerate and release the button. This disheartened us and the project was laid to rest yet again.
A year or so passed and I decided to try an idea that Noah and I discussed in passing, but never executed upon. The fourth iteration involved pulling the pin out of the center of a hinge, such that by removing the pin, the bra would separate. We initially didn’t want to do this because it would involve using a large motor attached to the bra and this didn’t seem very ‘classy.’
As if we’d ever think a clap-off bra was classy. There’s really nothing like combining geeks with breast support, is there? And really, this takes “bra burning” to a whole nother level! Sure, light breasts on fire. On purpose. Does anyone else sense a little problem here??
My husband thinks adolescent boys (of whatever age) will be walking around doing applause flash mobs.
If you’d like to see the actual five second video, click here. This could get dangerous really fast, especially if a large-breasted woman ever tried to wear one of these…
Would you either buy or wear a clap-off bra? What are your thoughts about other products that need a “Clap-Off” feature? Any plans to drop in on Times Square for this evening’s record-breaking event?? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!