Dr. Seuss Makes Me a Naughty Mommy

Photo from Wikipedia.org

Photo from Wikipedia.org

I’ve always been madly in love with Dr. Seuss books. Their cadence is amazing, their rhyming stupendous. And, when I’m stuck in my writing, there’s nothing that will jiggle my creative writer like There’s a Wocket in My Pocket.

(I’m not kidding…it’s the bomb book when you’re stuck.)

Note: If you’re unfamiliar with “There’s a Wocket in My Pocket,” here’s a link to have it read aloud to you.

The thing about Dr. Seuss…he also makes me naughty.

After reading these books umpteen times to the Little Bean, I’ve started getting kinda spicy with the Hubster, just to liven up the reading. This involves everything from reading aloud with a certain emphasis (IYKWIM), eyebrow wiggling, and changing around the words to get a giggle.

I don’t think Dr. Seuss would mind. He did illustrate The Pocket Book of Boners, after all.

There’s simply no way to avoid these “if you know what I mean” moments while you’re reading classics like…

Hop on Pop: Hop Pop. We like to hop. We like to hop on top of Pop. (Yep. Sure do.)

The Cat In The Hat: “I know some good games we could play,” said the CooCat. “I know some new tricks,” said the Cat to the Hat. “A lot of good tricks. I will show them to you. Your mother will not mind at all if I do.” (Nope. Mama won’t mind at all.)

[Related facts you might not know:

#1 – In our house, we call the vajayjay a “CooCat” (“Coo” for short).

#2 – All sex toys are stored up on a shelf in a box discreetly labeled: “Meow.”]

Green Eggs and Ham: The eyebrow waggling happens ALL OVER this book.

Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?

Could you, would you, with a goat? I would not, could not with a goat! Would you, could you, on a boat? Or in a pool, upon a float?

My hubby and I have made entire dates over my daughter’s oblivious head, although I’m sure this honeymoon period of innuendo is going to end soon. She’s starting to repeat EVERYTHING.

So, it’s your turn to give me some new ammo. What is your favorite children’s book for covert operations of the dating kind? (Just make it up if you don’t have kids, I’m positive you have nieces, nephews or godchildren.) What are your code words for those naughty words you don’t want to say in front of your kids? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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21 Responses to Dr. Seuss Makes Me a Naughty Mommy

  1. Heh heh heh. Hubby and I used to love to Seuss it up. “Is that a wocket in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” Guaranteed smile.😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Jenny. I suspect this world is not ready for your brilliance… or at least your supreme humor. Funny that I just saw this last week… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHL1QOpFsrM and thought it fit in with your Dr Seuss theme.

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  3. K.B. Owen says:

    ROFL, Jenny! It’s hard to beat Dr. Seuss at innuendo. Enjoy it while you can…have you noticed a lot of children’s books focus on going to BED? Good Night Moon, Good Night Gorilla, and some of our fave Sandra Boynton’s books: Pajama Time, Snoozers, The Going to Bed Book, Night-Night, Little Pookie…

    But Not the Hippopotamus.
    😉

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Any author that writes a book called “Little Pookie” is gonna be my friend. We don’t have any Sandra Boynton…YET.

      We like Goodnight Moon a lot at our house, and by the time we’re done reading it, the whole house wants to GO TO BED.🙂

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  4. LOLOL! Our favorite Suess is “Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are?” Though we didn’t use it for sex talk. LOL Hubs used to use it to demo the futility of more and more meetings. I will admit that my ability to recall is limited as I ooze my way out of this cold. LOL

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  5. S. J. Maylee says:

    LMAO!! Great post, Jenny. Thank you. We don’t have code names. How can this be! I must rectify this.🙂

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  6. DeeAnna Galbraith says:

    Really fun post. Is your mind always trending that direction? *waggling eyebrows*. I guess the best we got at secret code was naptime! Mom and dad are taking a nap, so you can, too.

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  7. filbio says:

    LOL! You naughty little minx!

    I do love a woman with a bit of a dirty mind!

    We don’t have kids so we say it all out loud and let it all hang out! Yet, we do hide the “adult toys” in a special place when the family or friends come to visit!

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  8. My favorite Seuss is the fox and the socks one. That one’s a real tongue twister to read aloud.

    I don’t have any fun adult versions, but I’m sure if I re-read them I’d think of something. Not having any children around the house means no children’s books either so it’s been a really long time since I’ve read any kiddo books.

    Thanks for sharing here though. I’m letting my imagination run with your suggestions above.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh, if you re-read them now, I guarantee you’d find tons of innuendo. Dr. Seuss was just that way. (I don’t think I’m alone on this one.)

      Let that imagination run wild, girlfriend. W-I-L-D.

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  9. Inquiring minds want to know the derivation of the term “CooCat” as a slang term for the more proper Vajayjay.

    Please and thank you.😉

    Nationals rocked, btw! So wish you had been there with the other WITS.

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I was so sad to miss it, Gloria, although I did see a great photo of you dressed up like the ultimate sexpot. Yowza!!! Did you have fun meeting Laura and Fae? They loved meeting you.🙂 Did you do any pitching???

      On the CooCat front, I can claim no fame. My girlie Alicia (of the “You seem kinda frigid” date) gave me that word.🙂

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      • Yes, Ma’am! I did some pitching. Of the informal, accost them while they’re smoking or wandering about at a social event variety. I do my best work when it’s impromptu.

        A senior editor for Kensington asked that I write my information on the back of HER card because she had too many author cards to sort through. She said she expects to hear from me. WOOT! Also got a request from Harlequin Blaze.

        No worries. That Laura Drake woman was on point as the get-the-lead-and-the-pitch out hunt. She’s as much of a bossyboots as you are.

        In re: the sexpot. It was a masquerade party! I had to go to the *Love Shack* and then to Atlanta Costumes to find that mask.

        *Love Shack was recommended to me by James as a great place to find masks. Who? James? He’s the supervisor of valets at The Fairfield Atlanta, where Sherry and I stayed for one night. I told him I didn’t need to know how he knew.*

        YES!!! I was thrilled to finally meet Fae and Laura. They rock…and, I want to move to SoCal so I can join your RWA chapter.

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  10. This is great! The only book that comes to mind right now is, “Everyone Poops” and that’s not easily converted to any…sex talk.🙂 We have teens so we wiggle our eyebrows often and wait until they go out with their friends.🙂

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  11. Cindy D says:

    Jenny, you made my day!🙂

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