Undie Chronicles, Vol. 15: Be a Better Ho with PantyO!

100% Spandex Cheeky Panty from PantyO

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles.

The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen.

I had a whole other post lined up for today, but it got bumped last night when the Undie-verse reached out and grabbed me on Twitter.

Seriously. I was minding my own business, chatting with my pal Roni Loren (who has a cool eight-part serial novel out this summer: Not Until You).

There we are, just two pals catching up, and I glance to the left at the “Who To Follow” pane and see “PantyO.”

Like I’m not gonna look at PantyO. Please.

Of course I had to look at PantyO.

Then I see they have almost 209K followers and I had to go one step further and check out their site. I’m a little frightened by their product, but very, very intrigued.

I bring you PantyO: The Original Kegel Exercise Panty

Their product description:

The pantyO Kegel Exercise Extension is what makes pantyO unique!! The pantyO Kegel Exercise Extension (approximately one inch in height) is sewn into the crotch of the panty.  When wearing the panty, the extension is inserted vaginally  and provides a “focus” point for you while performing your Kegel exercises while squeezing on the extension.

More detail to be found here. But, below is a photo of the Kegel Exercise Extender (KEE):

http://www.PantyO.com — the KEE, for Hoohah Health

Well I saw that photo and freaked out a little at the idea of walking around trying to “focus” on a one inch insert all day long. That seems a little…distracting.

Note: I also thought the insert was the Swarovski crystal they were referencing (see cute glittery accents in top photo…oops). Keep that in mind as you read on…

My rant to Hubby:

Me: WOWZERS. Would you look at this insert thing?!

Him: Whoa. I sure hope that’s a smooth crystal.

Me: I’m torn between my yen to cure Mom Bladder and a Fear of the Insertion Point, if you know what I mean. I just don’t know if I’m ready for this Kegel Exercise Extension thingie. It sounds a bit daunting, like jumping from Jazzercize straight up to Crossfit.

I mean, maybe I need to start a bit lower on the Kegel chain and try some sort of beginner’s Kegel model first. *waggled eyebrows at my honey*

Him: You mean, like a tricycle or training wheels for the hoo-hah?

Me: Well something not as hard and permanent-sounding as a Swarovski crystal! I think the vajayjay needs to start with some less chi-chi material like silicone or plastic. Once it’s mastered the lesser model, we can work up to the Swarovski.

It should be noted: These panties are a step down from the KegelMaster I posted about last Fall on Natalie Hartford’s blog. But I’m afraid of that Bladder Dominatrix too.

My tweets with Roni:

@JennyHansenCA: Ack. *crosses legs and winces* — Roni Loren (@RoniLoren) June 24, 2013

Then Hubby figured out that the KEE insert was silicone:

@RoniLoren ~ OK, just realized the Swarovski’s are decor. The insert is silicon. Now I’m laughing even harder. #PantyPeeps

— Jenny Hansen (@JennyHansenCA) June 24, 2013

I’m not sure how much these babies cost, but I’m going with the price on the Product page: $42.50. (The home page lists them as $85.00.) However, there’s free shipping to make me feel better about the extra $35 I’m spending per pair. I don’t get that nifty KEE on my everyday undies, you know.

Perhaps I’ll add these to next year’s list of New Year’s Resolutions:
Devise regimen to train the hoo-hah up for the PantyO.

You know what this means, right?

I’d better put together a damn good regimen. The problem is, I usually forget about those resolutions after about a month. It would be dreadful to get the CooCat all fit, and then let all her training be for naught, don’t you think?

I’ll have to set reminders all around my house. Catchy little ditties like: Yo-Ho-Ho, don’t forget the PantyO. Or Yoo-hoo…TRAIN YOUR COO! (I could go on like this all day.)

Maybe I’ll just get a sweatshirt that says, Ho in Training. I’ll be like Rocky, but with the PantyO, instead of Apollo Creed. Since I’m a software trainer by day, that jacket would be useful forever.

Had you already heard about PantyO’s? Are you intrigued enough for the price tag or do you plan to keep your current training regimen? What other fancy messages have you received from the Undie-verse lately? Do you have any slogans to add to my list of training ditties? Enquiring minds always love to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny