I’m not sure how many of you have heard the bruhaha over Michael Douglas’ interview with the Guardian about his throat cancer two years ago.
When the Guardian interviewer expressed that his throat cancer was likely caused by years of drinking and smoking, he corrected them and said this type of cancer is most often caused by cunnilingus (that’s oral sex for the non-Latin set).
The media is going nuts because it’s really hard to pass up the kinds of headlines this news can generate.
So, I’m torn…
On the one hand, this is the kind of health information that needs to be shared widely, IYKWIM. Items like the dental dam were invented for a reason. (Proper use of the dental dam shown here.)
Note: If you’re confused or embarrased about buying dental dams, you can just use Saran Wrap. (Really.)
Plus, there’s all these stellar tweets flying around on the subject. I laughed my guts out over them yesterday.
My fave #MichaelDouglas tweets so far?
I would’ve been more than satisfied thinking Michael Douglas got his throat cancer from smoking. Like forever. — Brie Spangler (@BrieSpangler) June 3, 2013
I’m worried that these Michael Douglas revelations mean they’re going to ban cunnilingus in pubs — Frankie Boyle (@frankieboyle) June 3, 2013
Twitter no longer goes down. It goes ‘Michael Douglas.’
— Rachel Thompson (@RachelintheOC) June 3, 2013
Just wait until you find out how Michael Douglas sprained his wrist. — Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) June 3, 2013
Thanks, Michael Douglas, for ruining the ONLY time I’m not worrying about cancer. — Alex Baze (@bazecraze) June 2, 2013
And my favorite news headline: Michael Douglas Vows to Lick ‘The Big C’ in Five Months. (The obvious response being: “You need to hurry it up a little, dude.”)
So, I’ve arrived at the following conclusions:
- Although cancer is decidedly un-funny, the people on Twitter are hilarious.
- ‘Go Michael Douglas’ for being willing to publicly embarrass the crap out of yourself and your wife to get the word out about safe sex.
I have just one important question for Mr. Douglas:
How do you know that it was all that cunnilingus that caused the problem, rather than your years of smoking and drinking?? (We need your sources, Michael…there’s entire sex lives at stake here.)
What are your thoughts on the topic? Do you have any tweets or other social media updates to add? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!