It’s Thoughty Thursday and I can’t think about anything but panties.
Why, you ask?
We’re potty training at the Hansen House (that’s PT, when we don’t want the kid to catch on to the conversation) and Mommy might die.
Seriously, it’s brutal over here.
- My pals are begging me not to tell any more PT stories.
- We’ve rolled up the carpets, put trashbags around all the couch cushions and covered the whole thing with towels so neither us or the errant stream of pee rolls off into the floor.
- Every day, bags of wet steamy clothes come home from school.
- Baby Girl’s shoes are being cleaned and laundered daily.
This is worse than puppy training.
(For those of you that have never done that, the “joy” happens when they stare at the newspaper and pee on your carpet. Then they look up at you, all cute and proud, and wag their tail. And you have to praise them for having their front feet on the paper.)
Toddler toilet training is worse. (Oh, go ahead and laugh…I won’t hold it against you.)
We went to the pediatrician on Saturday for an eye thing and it went like this:
8:37 am – Entered Exam Room 8 (two doors down from the bathroom, which we’d already visited from the lobby)
8:38 am – “Mommy! Potty!”
*We went to the bathroom, cried, sat down, cried, produced nothing, cried, washed hands*
[Returned to Exam Room 8]
8:41 am – “Mommy! Potty!”
*Repeat of prior visit, only this time we cried during the handwashing too*
[Returned to Exam Room 8]
8:45 am, 8:49 am and 8:52 am – we did the same routine.
8:56 am – She said, “Mommy! Potty!” and peed her pants (and the floor of Exam Room 8).
Right about the time I got her cleaned up, the pediatrician came in, looked at my face and asked, “So, what is our problem today?”
I pointed at Baby Girl and said, “Her problem is she woke up with an eye thing. My problem is toilet training. We’re not even through one week and I’m dying.”
I told her my story (worrying that I was warping my child’s view of potty training forever) and this Goddess-In-A-Lab-Coat said: “You need to buy ‘special princess panties.'”
“We’ve got Dora and Minnie Mouse and Daisy Duck panties already–”
She interrupted me with a hand on my arm, looked at Babykins and said, “I’m talking about the kind you buy in the store next to the d-i-a-p-e-r-s.”
I stared at her with naked hope in my eyes. “Even though the school says it’s only panties all the time?”
“Can you stand a whole weekend of worrying?”
“No. No, I can’t. We’re going to two friends’ houses this weekend and I’ve been freaking out that I’d have to take trashbags for their couch.”
“When you pick up your eye drops at the pharmacy, detour through the aisle with the ‘Special Princess Panties.’ Never call them anything except that and use them as much as you need to. During the week, the school is in charge.”
And so we have. I feel like a PT failure but I’m much more calm.
I’m sure y’all have advice and ideas, along with plenty of great toddler and pet training stories. Lay ’em on me. Enquiring minds LOVE to know your stories here at More Cowbell!
Jenny
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
You were cracking us up with PT stories at lunch yesterday, Jenny!
I do feel for you, if that helps at ALL!
And no, I’m not inviting you all to my house until this is over.
Love ya. Mean it.
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See, I don’t mind y’all laughing. Cuz this would be damn funny if it wasn’t happening at MY house. 🙂
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Jenny! I’ve potty trained 10 kids. Call me. We’ll get Baby Girl set in 1 day. You won’t believe it. Night time? She’ll still need Pull-Ups, but she’ll be pee-pee & poopie trained. For real. Do you still have my digits?
You help with technology; I help with the potty. Maybe I can teach this thru WANA. LOL.
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I have your digits and I’m pretty desperate, as you can tell. Also, I’m doing the math and you don’t HAVE 10 kids…so how come you’ve toilet trained so many? Are you keeping secrets from us, lovely Renee?
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People have literally dropped their kids off with me for an entire day because I seem to be able to just teach them. It’s like I’m the Pee-Pee Whisperer.
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PLEASE tell me you will do a post called “I Am the Pee-Pee Whisperer of Upstate New York.” Please…
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I’d like to know Renee’s secrets…because honestly, I heard this from several parents. Hooray for them! Maybe there really is something I didn’t try, but PT didn’t take in my house until age 3. That’s just how it went. And at age 3, they were there in like a week. Now, I do have boys, so that changes up the deal a little.
But I walked away believing that some kids are easy to train, others aren’t, and they all eventually get it. Use the special princess panties when you need to, and don’t sweat it. She won’t be peeing on the carpet in junior high. 🙂
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That’s some calming advice. You and the Goddess-In-A-Lab-Coat both make me feel better about it all. The mess is what kills me. And the back and forth, and back and forth (with no results). My husband is MUCH more zen about the whole thing.
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I’ve done this with boys AND girls. It’s a bit of a weird thing, but CALL ME! It works.
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Pets are easy. Couldn’t pay me to do it with a 2-legger, though. *s* I feel your pain!
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Yes, pets are MOSTLY easy. I had one that actually liked to pee on the paper more than she liked the feel of grass under her feet while she went. She took a while.
Now I’ve got to call Renee and discover her secrets…
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Ugh! That takes me back! My boys are 15 and nearly 19 now, but there was a time there when I was quite convinced that by the time I quit changing their diapers they would have to be changing me out of mine! Hang in there, Jenny!
-Jimmy
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LOL. The thing is, I don’t mind diapers. At least everything’s contained and they go in the diaper genie. I mind the mess of pee that could happen ANYWHERE. That’s what makes me crazy. And the daily round of pee-pee laundry.
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So, my question is this: Are there special princess panties for menopausal women? Because, I’m thinking they’d be a hit. Maybe they’d need to be called “special queen panties,” or “kick-ass crone panties.” Something like that. ????? 🙂
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Ooh-ooh-ooh! I know! “Magic Menopause Panties: Accident prevention and memory retention, all in one.” 🙂
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Totally writing a post about this brand new product, in hopes that some company will pick up the ball and run with it. 😀
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I’m positive they’d make millions, Ellen. Truly. 😉
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I am so glad I’m past the point of potty training. My Mom was getting a bit frustrated but was relieved at around my 18th birthday when I got the hang of it!
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LOL….what a wonderful mommy. 🙂
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I had two boys, so I don’t know about “Special Princess Panties.” I told my boys that if they couldn’t aim it in the toilet that they would be going potty outside with the dog. lol. Come to think of it, they did spend a lot of time in the “library”, aka, toilet. In fact, I have a picture of the oldest fast asleep holding a book sitting on the toilet. It’s a classic. lol. I thought girls were easier to train than boys Jenny. Baby girl needs the right incentive. Is there something special that she wants? Also my boys spent a lot of time watching their father go in the toilet on order to get the connection. I love my husband. Have I said that before? Oh how glad I am that I’m done with this process. Well, until a grandchild materializes. May the force be with you girlfriend! 🙂
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That’s funny, Karen. I’m glad your boys were able to be one with nature. 🙂
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Yes, special princess panties! 😀
I don’t miss this stage at all. I feel for you!
One thing that I did splurge on was a portable potty seat. It folds up (watch the hinges; they can pinch) so you can take them with you. I let my girls use that instead of the ginormous public potties (it kept them from putting their hands on the seat to hold themselves up, too…ewww).
Hang in there!
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We have a potty seat that doesn’t fold, but a portable one sounds enticing. I CRINGE to see her grab onto a public toilet seats.
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CBC myself (childless by choice – like it so much better than DINK – dual income, no kids) but went through a bit of a thing with my friend’s first child (she has four now and I don’t know how she managed). The house they were living in at the time had electric heat and the baseboard heater in the bathroom was right beside the toilet. Needless to say, though they had the pretty plastic potty and the stool in front of the toilet to effect a transition of sorts, Lil C found the warmth of the radiator much more attractive and somehow cleared all the paraphenalia to pee on the “warm seat” … while mom was reaching for something by the sink. It was a second, two tops. They had a heck of a time breaking Lil C of that habit. She was fond of the bathtub too, but that was easier to deal with than a pee-soaked radiator.
When they visited our place some time later, just after we’d gotten a brand new bed, my friend assured me that Lil C was PT’d now and that we’d have no trouble if she went for a nap. I even offered to bring out the mattress protector, but she wanted Lil C to feel like a big girl. You know what happened without me saying it.
It’s kid stuff. You deal, clean up, move on. All is well.
I’m glad you have your pretty princess panties. My friend was a dedicated cloth diaper fan to boot. 4 kids. Still don’t know how she managed 🙂
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Melanie, at least 50% of my pals are CBC, and they all love to babysit for me which makes me really happy too. 🙂
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I don’t buy into the “training” stuff. I waited until my children “insisted” on doing the potty on their own. My daughter “trained” in one day–her third birthday at my brother’s house five hours away from home, Pee-pees AND poos if you must know. Our son was a little later, being autistic, but he “trained” in a day as well at three years, seven months. I admit, I did sit in the bathroom with him one Friday evening with a stack of book to read with him (his school teachers asked us to, as a follow-up to what they’d done that day in school.). Hours later, he had success. No accidents with her, a few with him (he hated to stop playing to go to the potty). I did switch both of them to pull-ups by two-and-a-half or so because they’d grown out of regular diapers, but never stressed about it. And neither did they.
I think we parents often get pressured into pushing our kids to do things before they are developmentally ready. Let Baby Girl guide you, not some doctor or other well-meaning parents/friends/relatives.
Relax, Mommy. She won’t be wearing diapers or Princess Panties in kindergarten. 🙂
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Yep, hubby and I had a huge talk about it today – we’re going to spend all day on Sunday going to the potty and if she’s not happy with it by the end of the day, we’re going to conclude she’s not ready yet and try this again later. 🙂
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Good luck! If she’s ready, great. If not, she’ll let you know when. Hope you have a relaxing Memorial Day weekend together. 🙂
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Good luck with potty training! Patience and going at a pace that suits your family is the key.
My kids turn 4 in two months and are still work in progress. The kids are diaperless during the day but sleep with diapers on. Daughter’s diaper is dry pretty much every night (there’s an accident maybe once every two weeks) but my son pees on his diaper most nights. It took months before they succesfully pooped on the potty. And even longer before they were ok with wearing panties during the day.
And gosh, there have been many accidents at home and in public places. Many of them are my fault because I forget to take them to the potty before they ask. When they ask, it’s often too late.
In the beginning we gave them stickers to a special notebook for every success and they got to choose a toy or other reward after 10 stickers. When potty became more routine, the amount of stickers needed for reward increased and then stopped. A toilet seat for kids has also helped with the motivation because it makes them to feel like they’re peeing and pooping like grown ups.
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Reetta, we’ve found that the accidents are divided between us not taking her in time and her being too involved to stop and go.
She’s doing MUCH better after this weekend, and M&M’s are helping. We’re basically bribing her: 1 M&M to get out of her pants and sit on the potty without a holy war, 2 for any actual production and 1 if she washes her hands. We basically picked all the parts that were making us crazy and added an M&M to them.
I’ll keep y’all posted. 🙂
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I am going through the same things with PT!! I loved your post and can so relate! Any helpful tips would be awesome, until then its crazy!!!!
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