It’s Thoughty Thursday and I can’t think about anything but panties.
Why, you ask?
We’re potty training at the Hansen House (that’s PT, when we don’t want the kid to catch on to the conversation) and Mommy might die.
Seriously, it’s brutal over here.
- My pals are begging me not to tell any more PT stories.
- We’ve rolled up the carpets, put trashbags around all the couch cushions and covered the whole thing with towels so neither us or the errant stream of pee rolls off into the floor.
- Every day, bags of wet steamy clothes come home from school.
- Baby Girl’s shoes are being cleaned and laundered daily.
This is worse than puppy training.
(For those of you that have never done that, the “joy” happens when they stare at the newspaper and pee on your carpet. Then they look up at you, all cute and proud, and wag their tail. And you have to praise them for having their front feet on the paper.)
Toddler toilet training is worse. (Oh, go ahead and laugh…I won’t hold it against you.)
We went to the pediatrician on Saturday for an eye thing and it went like this:
8:37 am – Entered Exam Room 8 (two doors down from the bathroom, which we’d already visited from the lobby)
8:38 am – “Mommy! Potty!”
*We went to the bathroom, cried, sat down, cried, produced nothing, cried, washed hands*
[Returned to Exam Room 8]
8:41 am – “Mommy! Potty!”
*Repeat of prior visit, only this time we cried during the handwashing too*
[Returned to Exam Room 8]
8:45 am, 8:49 am and 8:52 am – we did the same routine.
8:56 am – She said, “Mommy! Potty!” and peed her pants (and the floor of Exam Room 8).
Right about the time I got her cleaned up, the pediatrician came in, looked at my face and asked, “So, what is our problem today?”
I pointed at Baby Girl and said, “Her problem is she woke up with an eye thing. My problem is toilet training. We’re not even through one week and I’m dying.”
I told her my story (worrying that I was warping my child’s view of potty training forever) and this Goddess-In-A-Lab-Coat said: “You need to buy ‘special princess panties.'”
She interrupted me with a hand on my arm, looked at Babykins and said, “I’m talking about the kind you buy in the store next to the d-i-a-p-e-r-s.”
I stared at her with naked hope in my eyes. “Even though the school says it’s only panties all the time?”
“Can you stand a whole weekend of worrying?”
“No. No, I can’t. We’re going to two friends’ houses this weekend and I’ve been freaking out that I’d have to take trashbags for their couch.”
“When you pick up your eye drops at the pharmacy, detour through the aisle with the ‘Special Princess Panties.’ Never call them anything except that and use them as much as you need to. During the week, the school is in charge.”
And so we have. I feel like a PT failure but I’m much more calm.
I’m sure y’all have advice and ideas, along with plenty of great toddler and pet training stories. Lay ’em on me. Enquiring minds LOVE to know your stories here at More Cowbell!