P is for Panties (and What They Say About Your Politics)

Julie Glover picked these for the Green Party but I'm thinking they're not cozy enough. Photo: Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch [Flickr]

Julie Glover picked these for the Green Party, but I’m thinking these tin can’s aren’t cozy enough.
Photo: Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch [Flickr]

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen.

If we’re counting, this is Volume 12!

Did you really think that we could do anything but “panties” for the “P” in the A to Z Blog Challenge?

Julie Glover and I were chatting online, as we sometimes do, and the discussion circled around to Undies. (I love it when y’all send me photos of the cool stuff you find!)

Our conversation went something like this:

Me: I’m convinced that the parsimony of material in the thong panty makes them Republican panties. Really, it’s the whole “less is more” thing.

Julie: I thought Sister Myotis calls them “Democrat Panties.”

Me: Well, she does. But I think the cotton kind that give you a lot more coverage are the Democrat Panties. I kind of go between those and Libertarian Panties myself.

Julie: Less is more? Commando?

Me: *snort*

Julie: That’s what I think Libertarian should be. No holds barred. Do what you like! Now you’ve got me wondering what Socialist panties could possibly be… Fundies? You know…we share.

Me: Nope, hug your body all over numbers…Socialist panties would definitely be Spanx.

Julie: Ah…

Me: We touch you EVERYWHERE. And they’d definitely give you a wedgie, I think.

Julie: ROFL.

Me: I might have to figure out a blog post on this one. You think Commie Panties would be a boned corset with stays and all?

Julie: “What Your Panties Say about Your Politics…”

Me: *genuflecting at her brilliance*

Julie: Green Party panties??? (Then Julie sent me the above photo of underwear by Ingrid Goldbloom Bloch made from aluminum cans.)

And so, a post was born…

To sum this up, here are the panties by political persuasion **:
(In the order of government “coverage”)

**Please keep in mind that this is all for good fun and light-hearted discussion**

Libertarian Panty

Photo by: Oscar One from Sunrise, Florida, USA ~  (Bootleggers/Shooters - 187)

Photo: Oscar One from Sunrise, Florida, USA ~ (Bootleggers/Shooters – 187) ~ Wikimedia Commons

Republican Panty

Photo by GardenParty ~ licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Photo by: GardenParty via the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license

Democrat Panty

Photo by By Iflwlou拍攝 (Own work) ~ Wikimedia Commons

Photo by By Iflwlou拍攝 (Own work) ~ Wikimedia Commons

Random thought:
So perhaps the Blue Dog Democrats would be Cheekies…?

From Victoria’s Secret

Socialist Panty

From Freshpair: Spanx Power Panties with Tummy Control

From Freshpair: Spanx Power Panties with Tummy Control

Communist Panty

Photo by Valerie McGlinchey ~ Wikimedia commons ~ Whalebone, cotton, steel busk and back supports

Photo by Valerie McGlinchey ~ Wikimedia commons ~ Whalebone and cotton with steel busk and back supports – Late 19 century

I wasn’t quite sure where to put the Green Party, or any of the other 3% groups so I just included Julie’s photo up above. (Personally, I’d rather wear a fig leaf than those aluminum cans.)

Y’all even get to vote today!

Do you have discussions like this on social media? What is your favorite photo from above? Don’t you think political discussions would be so much easier if we all just commented on our undies and left the rest alone? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!


About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
This entry was posted in Humor, Undie Chronicles and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

68 Responses to P is for Panties (and What They Say About Your Politics)

  1. You forgot the independents, Jenny. That means mine would be the Democrat panties in black or pastels. And no writing on the waistband. Nope. Can’t have that. Well, I COULD have writing on the waistband…if it was like an autograph.

    Whew to the fact that I’m not a Libertarian or Republican…I’d be changing my affiliation pronto. 🙂

    My son just walked out here and started to read the screen. I told him you wrote a blog about panties today. He said what??? So I told him again. He turned beet red, spun around and walked back to his room. Thank you! 🙂


  2. Emma Burcart says:

    That is too funny! Apparently my panty style and political party do not match. I have a full bottom and those comfy looking briefs are not so comfy on me. They don’t stay down on the cheeks, but migrate into half-thongs or thongs, depending on the day. I always say, “Why pay for the whole panty when you’re just going to get a thong anyway.” But, I have to ask: Is that a man in the republican picture? I’m feeling really confused. 🙂


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL. I understand that “half-thong” issue completely, Emma. LOL. And yes, that’s a man in the Republican picture because that was the cleanest thong photo I could find on Wikimedia Commons.


  3. I’m with Emma. My political affiliation does not match my panty preference. And, it has everything nothing to do with butt dimples. Until I complete my self-imposed butt dimple removal program, one peek in the mirror sends my thongs skedaddling back to the undie drawer. Yes. I’ll share the dimple removal routine one day. As soon as it starts working.

    The car body shop that uses a suction device to remove hail damage “dimples” from cars has not yet returned my calls. Go figure.

    I am so going to Yelp on them if they don’t respond by the end of this week.

    Yes, Jenny. I knew P would be Panty day. Or, Pubic day. Or, Penis Day. But, you unleashed penis in your OMG post yesterday — clever woman. Can not wait for delivery of that book. WOOT!

    KA-SHNORT! on the places your chats with Julie take you. She looks so sane normal in her head shot. Whodathunkit?

    Off now to browse Amazon for books on Butt Beautification. I want at least five books to share at DFWCon and only have three so far.


  4. This reminds me of a post I’d love to write for you. You’ll see. I’ll get to it. I just scribbled it on a napkin and threw it in my writing box.


  5. julipagemorgan says:

    Another one here whose political affiliation doesn’t match her panties. (And there’s a sentence I never thought I’d write!) Although I’ve noticed lately that my panties are trying to rectify the situation. (*snerk* Rectify.) The minute I button my jeans and take a step, WHOOSH! Those cotton undies turn into a thong. Or maybe it’s not that my panties are trying to match my politics. Maybe it’s just that the store they came from, the one with all the “Secrets,” is trying to find out all of MY secrets.

    I think our panties are onto us, y’all. Or into us. I’ve said too much.

    P.S. And Gloria? I am SO calling the auto body shop today about that dimple thing.


  6. Julie Glover says:

    Isn’t my family proud of me now?! :/ I was with you all the way until the Libertarian and Republican Panties pics; then, I wanted to burn my eyes out with a poker…or suction them out with that dimple-removal device Gloria mentioned.

    You are hilarious, Jenny. You take my mind to the funniest places. I think hemp panties are a Green Party advocate option also. I’m thinking boxers for the Tea Partiers (and no, I don’t even have the heart or gumption or insanity to say why on your public blog, lol).

    And now I’m headed off to shower and vote for (wear) the undies that best represent me.


  7. LauraDrake says:

    Oh, NOW I know why I’m so conflicted – my panties and my affiliation are OPPOSITES!

    Is there a meeting for that? I think I need one.


  8. filbio says:

    Sorry, but as a straight guy that loves women I am voting all the way for the Libertarian! To me the democrat style looks like the one to become granny panties over the years.

    Also, you didn’t put up a pic for the party that goes “commando” !


  9. amyskennedy says:

    I. Don’t. Know. What. To. Say. Wait, yes I do, but I’m laughing too hard…I like the cheekie panties, but my go to thongs do not match my political affiliation. While I like the idea of re-using the cans as undies for the Green party, I’m with you Jenny, OUCHIE!
    I don’t know if this link will work–but these might work for the Independent party! Scroll down to the men’s panties…


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh my…. The best part about the undies in that link is they say “PPU” with that little oomlaut over the U. *giggling*

      I’m a huge fan of the ridiculous, if you know what I mean. I’m glad you are too. 🙂


  10. Sisyphus47 says:

    By far the naughtiest is the communist variety since it is only a corset! Or is it meant to be worn with any other of the above? ;-P ~ delicious post!


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LMAO at your comment, Honore! I’m figuring the Commie Corset gets paired with the Socialist Spanx… Both of those are at the bottom of the voting board. 🙂


  11. K.B. Owen says:

    Jenny, the undie chronicles just keep getting better and better! I noticed you only posted one pic of a GUY in undies…he sure didn’t look like a Republican to me. 😉


  12. Bill Parker says:

    I’m confused by how this works. Being something between a Democrat and socialist, do I need to train myself to like the grann–er, full-coverage undies and the Spanx now? Or do I need to force myself to adopt a libertarian ideology based on my panty preference? It’s a real chicken-or-the-egg sort of problem.


  13. Jane Sadek says:

    See, the media misrepresents us Republicans. Less is more would be better translated as a nude colored bikini brief with the no pantyline promise. Fiscally affordable with adequate coverage and minimal exposure. http://images.jockey.com/en-us/catalog/productimages/001338_sel.jpg


  14. Joy Daniels says:

    This is one of the most ridiculous posts I have ever read. Loved it!

    One think: given the emphasis on abstinence among the religious conservatives in the Republican Party, I’d think the Spanx and definitely the corset belong to them. Just sayin’


  15. tomwisk says:

    Jenny, to quote you “And so, a post was born.” It’s not about undies but the way I view them. Let me explain, I believe in Libertarian Undies, but sometimes they’re not appropriate and you have to dig out the “Democrat panties ” or “Republican briefs”. Personally I love Libertarian undies, I’m a man, but sometimes a pair of Democrat panties can be just as enticing, The photo for Republican briefs is not my cup of tea. I’m going to look up Blue Dog Democrat. It looks reeaall interesting.


  16. zkullis says:

    Hmmm… This is a tough one for me since I don’t normally wear panties. That being said, as a male who happens to think the feminine form is the most beautiful thing to grace this planet, I typically vote for the Libertarian panties. But I have seen some panties (boy short undies I think) that absolutely set my mouth to watering.

    As far as my own political identity, I’m probably better off wearing a kilt and going without because I will not side with one party or the other in this political climate (I recently wrote a short satirical piece on said climate).

    I did however find a funny commercial about men’s underwear that I think is pretty damn funny. Jenny, could you please fix it if the link doesn’t work?


    The Miroslav under spots are great (in particular 7), and so is advertisement #14.



    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Oh my Lord, Zack! Those are hysterical. I can’t believe they did the Miro Slav ad with the man facing up either.

      Based on your comment, I’d have to wear a kilt too. But remember, this post is not about what political party you ARE. It’s about which party your underwear is. 🙂


      • zkullis says:

        True…. My underwear is loose boxer-party. I’ve tried affiliating with the Republican or Democrat undie-party, but they are simple to confining. I don’t like my “party” being too restricted. IYKWIM


    • H-O-W-L-I-N-G over those commercials, Zack. The Aussies know how to make memorable commercials. Memorable conventions, too, as I recall.

      The Corporate America company I once worked for was invited to never return for a convention b/c the team from Australian stole two armadillos from our day at a ranch and held an armadillo race in the hotel lobby.

      Oh! Oh! This is one I was saving for a blog (may still use it since it’s late in Cowbell Land).

      Still puzzling over this ad in tandem with the Kmart brand.

      Does not surprise me you’d go with a kilt, btw. But, I suspect you’d also enjoy #6 in tandem with a Libertarian non-panty-raid.


  17. This post is all sorts of awesome. 😀 Let’s just say, my panties preference matches my political affiliation, and leave it at that. Oh! Except I am compelled to mention I’ve worn a corset numerous times on stage, and have a great appreciation for its enhancement capabilities. 😉


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