We haven’t gotten our laugh on for at least three days here at More Cowbell! It’s like a new record.
Today, we’re talking about SEX. (Are y’all awake now?)
And we’re not just having this discussion because Hubby and I have thwarted TWICE this week. (Once when Babykins came home from school sick and jacked up the day off we’d scheduled, and once when our babysitting fell through.)
Well, OK…it’s a little bit because of that. Plus, if I’m not getting any, I at least want to hear other people’s stories.
And I know my posse: y’all have plenty to say on this topic that will make me laugh my a$$ off.
Seriously, hubby and I were talking about this. When you’re younger, or don’t have children running around, it’s easy to find romance all over the house. The kitchen, bathroom, closets, etc. are all part of the Nookie Playground.
As most people get a bit older (and their backs start killing them), or have kids underfoot, they tend to gravitate to the bed, rather than the rug or the wall. It’s just the way of things, and part of why romance novels remain so popular. (Those characters do it everywhere.)
Here’s Bill Murray in Stripes to explain the potential of the kitchen:
So here’s what I want to know…purely for research of course:
What room do you think has the highest (or funniest) kink factor, and why?
Enquiring minds LOVE to know about these things here at More Cowbell! (I cannot wait to see your comments! Make me proud, people. 🙂 )
Jenny
Don’t Forget: I’m drawing my second winner tomorrow for the More Cowbell bumper sticker. Also, if you haven’t subscribed (and would like to), be sure to do it before the end of the month to be eligible for the Amazon card I’m giving away for this month’s blogiversary.
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
I think the bathroom has the greatest potential for funny…simply because when you have a couple of naked bodies, soap and water… Well, those are just accidents and injuries begging to happen (yay for non-skid mats!). While nothing has ever been broken in my bathroom, a friend and her hubby did break off the soap/wash cloth holder thing on the wall.
Kink factor would have to be the kitchen, in a buffet kind of way. And in a baby’s room (and the baby stays asleep – and is too young to know what’s going on if he or she wakes up)…as long as it has a rocker. I’ve always wanted to try something with a rocking chair (as long as there’s a guy involved, too). 🙂
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LOL…I always thought a rocking chair would be marvelous as well, though I’m really afraid I’d fall out of it in the middle. Hmmmm….
If you’d like to scream with laughter over items found in the bathroom, go take a gander at this post by Jess Witkins: http://jesswitkins.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/gift-giving-gone-wrong/
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Trust me – the bean bag chair in the living room does NOT. Especially when your sister and her new boyfriend you haven’t met yet, show up early for dinner and catch you — oh God, I’m still embarrassed, typing this!
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The visual has me HOWLING, Laura.
I thought you might pick the garage — with the doors open of course — on a motorcycle. Get those Harley engines revvin’ and other revs may follow. Just sayin’…
I had an MGA roadster once that was FAR too much fun to drive. IYKWIM.
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Snort! Just remembered I had to sell it when the head cracked b/c the shop failed to torque it properly.
There is some double entendre fun hidden in that sentence.
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Gloria, the funniest, most horrifying part about this story is that the dude in the beanbag chair WITH Laura just got up and left her there (and hid in the bathroom.)! I can only imagine the horror. I just hope she was NOT facing the door.
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AHA! These are the type of scene and sequel discussions you and Laura have during your *cough* writers group meetings?
I suspected it all along.
OMG! The horror!
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Oh yeah, the ‘dude’ was my husband (wonder why we’re not still married?)
And it was definitely “Taco Night” at the house that night IYKWIM.
Why do I do this on Jenny’s blog? Public shaming myself…must be the Cowbell.
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Snorted green tea over taco night comment, Laura.
H-O-W-L-I-N-G!
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Laura, this is priceless! LMAO
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You made my day. I didn’t even have to read the blog. I just saw the picture. Stripes is one of my all time favorite movies. They don’t make ’em like that anymore!
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LOL….well if you come back and read it, Jane, don’t forget to give your vote for The Big Kinky Room. 🙂
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Well. I read it, but I was ringing my cowbell before I’d taken in a single word. Can I vote for the car? Does it count as a room?
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*snorting with laughter* The car absolutely counts as a room. 😀
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Me too, Jane. The only thing better is Caddyshack!
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First, a huge hug and KUDOS for Jenny’s story yesterday. Communication for me was limited to iPhone and fat-finger syndrome won the WordPress sign-in battle. I
cursedconceded, and pinged good Jenny vibes from the stars over Texas to California.Okay. So.
The kinkiest room in the house. This is so not my type of comment fodder.
I love Kristy’s idea about a rocking chair, but would amend to let that chair rock anywhere, in any room, so long as it isn’t backed up to a window. And, it isn’t privacy that concerns me. Flying, naked bodies through a glass window? Um. Might jack with an otherwise happy ending, and YKWIM.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for wording your question with the rather than your house. I think it would be really kinky to have sex in any room of a house during a party. It’s the getting caught factor that would heat my muffin. (Yes. I’m still working on cliché twists. Yes. I chose the word muffin on purpose.) Under coats thrown on a bed, in a closet, underneath a skirted banquet table. I ruled out the Loo because of the come versus go factor. If others have an urgent need to “go”, it’s a potential glee-killer.
Note to self: Always wear flirt skirts to parties.
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Further note to self. Create a signature hostess gift reputation for unique and useful items. 1. Rocking chairs
2. Potted plants
3. Rocking chairs
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pickmepickmepickmepickmepickmepickme
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You are shameless, girlfriend. I will cross my fingers that Random.org picks you. LOL.
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Further note to self – never leave your coat on someone’s bed at a party when you invite Gloria! LMAO!
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I’m having a hard time restraining myself from commenting on a number of double entendres…. 😉 How about in the attic after you have told the guests that the house is haunted?????
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And why are you restraining yourself? Don’t you know where you’re at, Zack??!
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Ditto, what Jenny said, G-man! The challenge involved bringing your A game.
But, totally loving the notion of the attic
G-spotghostly noise making.The more moans the
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The attic idea is genius. Let’s admit it. Then you could come back to the party, hair a mess, skirt askew, and pick the next handsome devil to help you look for the polker-, uh, poltergeist. 😉
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KA-SHNORT!
And, this is why I L-O-V-E naughty word play with the G-Man!
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Wow! Yep, this is a winner. I’m old, have forgotten those days of party-fun… Hmm… maybe it’s time to put on a cute skirt and go to a party with my guy. 😉
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Report back when you do, MeanJ9. Details! We want details!
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Patio.
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Waldo, you’ve started a wave of yearning for the patio here at More Cowbell. It’s killing me.
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Kitchen or dining room. Something about that whole buffet spread scenario. 😀
Do-wa-diddy-diddy-dum, diddy-do. 🙂
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Who doesn’t love a good buffet spread!?!
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Indeed. 😉
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Buffet spread… *snort*
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“nom nom nom”
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My first response is every room. Kinky can (and SHOULD) be found and expressed everywhere.
Laundry room? Throw some heavy objects in the drier to get it hopping. Some models even come with a grind cycle, or so I hear. Kitchen? Pass me an ice cube please and bit of honey (going to have to try the spatchula thing too). Bathroom? Mine has been done, but what about the neighbor’s? 😉 lol The yard, the driveway at midnight, closets, it all works. Well, maybe not in the dumbwaiter… Dining room? How sturdy is the table, and could it handle an impromptu wrestling match with massage oil?
But, I think the patio with a Tantra Sex Chair, a sunset, drink and light music, and a slight chance of being caught offers up some of the kinkiest at-home experiences.
Here is one not-home experience to try. Buy nosebleed tickets for a baseball game on a night when it is going to be very slow. It’s perfect if it’s a bit chilly, because nobody would think twice about a lady sitting on her man’s lap with a blanket around them to keep warm. Just sayin’… Wear a skirt and plan on hitting a Grand Slam.
What a fun post! IYKWIM
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BAHAHAHAHA! My fave thing in this comment: “Some models even come with a grind cycle, or so I hear.” *clutches sides laughing*
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Wait – wait! What’s a Tantra Sex Chair? Jenny – here’s another blog post for you – I want to see one of those!
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Of course, then one needs “Tantra Sex Undies” – just goin’ with my stream-of-consciousness here… 😉
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LOL…I can’t believe how much y’all played while I was away from my computer. Good gravy, you guys are KILLING me to today!!! 🙂
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Oh Laura, you must check it out! For, um, educational purposes, although a consumer should always investigate before they purchase…. 😀
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Assuming I HAD looked at the website when Zack first mentioned it months ago…
And, assuming I HAD checked out the tab labeled “positions.”
I would so not admit it’s a hot not-for-dreaming piece of furniture. The bedroom in my heroine’s dearly departed great aunt’s bedroom is where I placed said fantasyland furniture.
Um. The positions? Don’t think the forward split thing is for me, but the others…
Well, I’m certain I’d manage…assuming I knew what they were. Which I, of course, wouldn’t know unless I’d studied the videos for research purposes.
You now have your “T” post, Jenny. Triple-dog-dare ya’.
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I’d prefer to use it for “W” (short for “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)
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NOT in the STORE Though, right?
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SKA-WEEET! A Tantra Chair. Curses! I’ve already checked, and one won’t fit in a Mini Winnie…unless I drive about with an extended slider.
Yeah. Double entendre that one.
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All of ’em, depending on how they’re used. The living room with the windows open, within earshot of others, ranks pretty high. I do love others’ patio idea! Guess I should request some home renovation. Hmm…
You are rockin’ the alphabet, Jenny! Woo hoo!
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Amen August! You’re singing my song
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ROFL. You exhibitionist, you.
WE are rocking the alphabet, August…it takes a village. 🙂
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Anywhere but the bedroom, basically. Or the kids’ bedroom. Anywhere but there.
Do love the patio idea. If the patio happens to have a hot tub on it, well then.
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Y’all are cracking me up today, Bill. I knew you would.
Example: “…well then.” *chortling*
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May I offer a few suggestions?
The kitchen – just think of the fun that can be had with specific food items.
The bathroom – hot shower or bathtub filled with soapy water is fun.
The swimming pool – now who hasn’t done it at night in the pool when no one esle is around?
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LOL…you go, Phil. Who doesn’t like a guy with a creative imagination. However, you left the patio out of the equation…is that because you’re in New York City, the land of no patio?
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And remind me not to accept an invitation to Phil’s for a pool party…
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LOL! No skinny-dipping for me, either!
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The best water-erotica is in the ocean. You get out to a certain point and the push and pull of the waves enhances and drives the event.
True titillating tidal tantra.
(at least that’s what I’ve heard) 😉
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Well, maybe, but there are also jellyfish and other non-human tentacle-y things out there.
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I get the appeal of warm water, tidal tugs and lifts, but what about those critters K.B. mentioned? And, sand? Doesn’t gritty sand float about in those waters?
Do you do advance reconnaissance to rid the waters of all things non erotica friendly?
Just curious. No reason. Really.
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You need to know the water. I, for example, am heading to Cancun within the next few weeks. When you are out far enough to take full advantage of the waves, the sand moving around your feet won’t get up high enough to cause issues. I would do this when the water is clear enough to notice any critters taking an interest in your activities. There are certain times of the year when you get algal blooms in the water (Red Tide is one example).
I wouldn’t frolic or romp in water where you can’t see what might be floating/swimming around you. Also be aware of scuba divers or curious snorkelers unless you want to charge them for the show. 😉
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There are so many layers of comment threads here, I’ve run out of “reply” options (Jenny, change your settings already, you need at least 4 layers with this crowd – try “blogjack” mode). Zack, I’m reduced to replying to you via Gloria’s “tidal tantra” comment…anyhoo, I nearly did a spit-take when you mentioned “snorkeling” – that has always struck me as a code word for something else…*dive* *dive* *claxons ringing*
That snorkeler wouldn’t get more than a glimpse before his mask would fog up, anyway. 😉 Go for it.
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Oddly enough, I love to snorkel.
It would probably look like a whale hyperventilating with all of the heavy breathing and water being thrown up from the snorkel’s tube.
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I had these going FIVE deep, but due to the high level of blog-jacking today, I just bumped it up to six.
Holy cowbell, y’all are on fire!!
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Hmmmm. Pondering if I should take issue with “…reduced to replying…via Gloria’s…comment…”, K.B.
Perhaps you should change your blog comment settings. Just. In. Case.
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Aw, Laura (and K.B.). It’s fun skinny dipping in warm water. Now, to find a kindred male spirit. Oh! Look!
There’s G-man!
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I’m more worried about swimming AFTER you guys have fouled the pool! YUK!
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I think this is one place my pickmepickmepickmepickme subliminal messaging might not be appropriate.
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LMAO
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Okay, I’ll bite and if any of you know how shy I can be, your mouths will drop open. The first time was in our closet after I showed off a extremely flattering new slack outfit. It didn’t stay on long. The upstairs bedroom balcony late at night under the stars was my next foray into “different.” And yes, Phil the swimming pool is divine esp. under the stars. But the one I really felt daring about was on a dark patio outside a restaurant at a country club where we’d just eaten! Why is it that men love to chance being caught?
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Yep, the patio is definitely trending here in the comments. Who knew it was such a den of sexpot fever??!
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Um. Sharla? Getting a kick-start in situations where there is a chance one might get caught? Not gender specific. Just sayin’…
YOU GO, Girl!
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OMG, Sharla RAE!!!
Okay, since we’re ‘baring’ all here – I got caught about midnight one night – catfishing on the bank of a lake. No, really – I was fishing and this large eel popped up, and well…
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LAURA!
First, taco night? Now, large eel *consumption*?
You so need to put a menu together using your nefarious adventures for inspiration.
Can I assume referenced eel was too large to be offered as an appetizer?
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Actually, it was the main course!
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Just as I thought. And, dessert was….?
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I couldn’t help but notice she left her ammo belt on the counter #BadSign
I seem to remember an episode of “Mad About You” (anyone watch that show?) where the grown son found out his parents got “busy” on the kitchen table (while he’s eating there, of course). When he protests this particular “TMI” his mother (in true Bronx-Jewish-mother style) says: “What, you think I didn’t wash it later?” My vote is for the kitchen.
And I always wash the table. 😉
~Kathy
(late to the party – again).
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Oops – I misplaced my modifiers again…I meant he found out about an incident from long ago, WHILE he was eating dinner in his parents’ kitchen, NOT that they were getting busy at the table while he was eating dinner. English can be a very confusing language.
*I are a English major*
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I liked the first version best, K.B. Yeah. Shocking! It’s kind of a warm Apple Pie movie twisted tale.
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I like pie!
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So did the
hornycurious teen in the movie, K.B.I think his parents entering while he was en situ with his *date* ruined more than the pie.
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GAAAH! The name of the movie was American Pie, I think.
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I adored “Mad About You.” One of the best shows EVER. 🙂
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Okay Jenny, this will have to be the second time to refer to sex in a response, once to Stacy Green on her birthday qualms. At present I am not attached. When I was I tried to avail every horizontal, and some vertical spaces in the house to have fun. As time has moved along, certain places were shelved for more conventional places. One thing did change, with maturity I lost the allure of young shiny things and found comfort, solace and love in the arms of partners nearer my age. And one kinda kinky thing the “Yeew” factor is gone.
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Good for you, Tom! We all know that the older a gal gets, the more groovy stuff she *knows*… LOL.
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I have enjoyed the rocker in the back yard and a bale of hay in the barn. Hm… both of those are outside… Inside, the stairs had an extremely positive result. 😉
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LOL. When you still live with roommates, ANY and EVERY room during a weekend you know they’re gone!
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I know this has nothing to do with the house, but let me just say that all those movies that have couples getting intimate on a beach…SAND, people, SAND. It’s not quite so seamless in real life.
As to house, whatever room it is, it just better have a lock. Half the time, the sexual initiation line in my marriage is “Did you lock the door?” 😉
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Bwahaha. I identify with this.
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I’m with you, Julie – and meanJ9? Hay? Ouch!
Definitely one of those things better in books, I’d imagine.
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My hubz + I have… issues… unless we are on the floor. It’s the only way both parties are able to fulfill maximum expectation, and to our minds, it’s both or nobody, because YES. So there’s that.
But you didn’t ask WHERE in the room… you asked WHICH room. Our home is somewhat open, in a kinda loft-style set-up wherein there are no doors on our bedroom. The stairs lead up right into our room, on one side of the house. Stairs on the OTHER side of the house lead directly into our son’s room. Between his room and ours is the only bedroom with doors, on both sides, so that our daughter has to go through one of our bedrooms to come-n-go, to-n-fro. Make sense? So sex in our own bedroom, on the floor no less, is scary enough without changing geography, thank you very much!
However, we did take in an abused teen (family friend) for a year, and she shared a room with our daughter. Things got VERY uncomfortable and overly crowded, as though they weren’t already kinda strained, so my hubz and I did manage to make things… work out… in our minivan. Because it had been too long and I told him that if he didn’t make things happen for me I would no longer be responsible for my behavior. I think he made a wise decision! :p
Many of the comments mention the porch as being the “IT” place, but that wouldn’t work for us, because our porch leads to our back yard, out of which springs an alley, at the end of which is the village police station. I can wave to the cops from my back door, so I’m thinking *NO* on that option!
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I read a whole article once on some news blog or other — like, a serious, reputable one — about the struggles of middle-aged couples to have sex on Tempurpedic beds. Apparently the “conforms to your body” bit makes them really hard to shag on.
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