Photo from Cheerios.com
All around the world today, women are being celebrated. That’s kind of nifty. It’s International Women’s Day, just in case you hadn’t heard.
This last week I’ve been working overtime to elevate one of the strong, compassionate women in my life. My cousin Tara, co-founder of Army Wife Network, was nominated for Military Spouse of the Year.
Note: You might remember Tara from the post we did about her book, 1001 Things To Love About Military Life.
My entire family has been working overtime on social media, trying to get the vote out and driving everyone around us nuts over it. (Thank you if you voted!)
Yesterday we found out SHE MADE IT.
She gathered enough votes to be named MSOY for the Army and we are all just whooping it up over the news. Our entire family is thrilled. So I popped onto Facebook later in the day to comment on everyone’s statuses and join in the revelry.
And I saw this update from Tara:
When you put yourself out there…there is always one to piss in your cheerios.
It irked me because, hello? Don’t step on my peeps! But it also made me sad until I looked down at the comments. The support she got back was immediate and overwhelming.
My three faves were:
Alice: Well you have a whole bunch of us willing to go and drown said someone with piss-covered Cheerios, just tell us who to go get!!!
Wendy: I know this wasn’t meant to be funny, but it did make me LOL – “Sometimes the only taste of success some people get is when they take a bite out of you.” – Zig Ziglar
Stephen: Don’t eat cheerios. Eat bacon. No one has the guts to piss on bacon.
But the best response was from her pal, Babette…just three little words:
Move. Your. Bowl.
Damn straight, Babette.
Why did I post this today? You mean besides it being International Women’s Day?
I see people all the time who lament about their “pee-pee covered Cheerios,” if you get my drift. I’m using a female example in honor of the day, but it’s really pretty universal.
There are tons of times when life truly is dark. And there are periods when we choose to stay in the dark. I hope every person who reads this today encourages someone else to inch on over toward their “happy.”
Reach out to offer or accept a little support from your friends and family and inch on over toward that light.
An inch over several days becomes yards, then miles…
A drop of water will eventually carve out a cavern, then a canyon…
And if some small-minded person tries to steal your joy, or in this case “piss in your Cheerios,” for Pete’s sake…MOVE YOUR BOWL.
How do you deal with the old “Cheerio Attack?” Do you tend to confront, walk away, or just move over an inch or two to a more comfy emotional plane? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!
Jenny
Jenny Hansen's Blog 
Oh, gosh, Jenny! I want to say I move away from the person, into that comfy emotional plane.
Well, in a way, I do. I’m not into confrontations when someone attacks me. It rarely happens in person. In my experience, most attacks are stealth — brave, biting words said behind my back or posted online. I’m not yet at the point where I can draw on my own confidence for affirmation, so I gather my posse and opinion shop. By the time we’re through with the attacker, he/she has grown a wart with a long black hair on the end of his/her nose. It takes a village bowel movement.
Attacks on friends and family? Rein me in. “The bubble” absorbs most of the cuss words.
Congratulations to Tara! Military spouses should be at the top of the list of women we celebrate today, and she is at the TOP of that.
LikeLike
You’re killing me with your “village bowel movement,” Gloria. *clutches sides laughing*
Thanks for your kind words! I know Tara will be popping in here today and words like that will be lovely for her to read.
LikeLike
Congratulations to Tara! With your army of supportive followers, how could she lose? 🙂
LikeLike
OMG, Renee…the whole family was all up in their posse’s business. People who NEVER solicit were saying things like: I’ll be happy to bring that site up for you…Are you sure you don’t want to join the event? It was fantastic, and we’re very proud of her. She will do tons of good with this award.
LikeLike
I’m usually caught by surprise when someone attacks me out of nowhere. I never have a good response in that deer-in-headlights moment. Later, I think of a bazillion fabulous retorts, but it’s too late to go all Churchill on them then!
I love the comments to move your bowl and to eat bacon. (“No one has the guts to piss on bacon” made me laugh out loud.) It does indicate that you can’t control what others do, only how you handle it. If others are “pissing on your Cheerios,” you can choose to deal with it in a way that shows you’re better than that.
LikeLike
Oh yeah, and a big “Woo-hoo!!!!” for your cousin. 🙂
LikeLike
😀
LikeLike
Julie, I’m always surprised when people go on the attack too, mainly because it requires so much energy to keep up that level of mad. You know, most writers are happy little people scribbling on the page. The great part is, if someone gets pissy, we can write them into our novel. 🙂
LikeLike
LOL, Jenny, we need to distribute these t-shirts: http://www.cafepress.com/mf/23572177/end-up-in-my-novel_tshirt
LikeLike
Congratulations to Tara! I made my votes when you let us know so I’m excited she won.
What I do really depends on the particular situation. Sometimes I’ll just inch away because the confrontation isn’t worth it. But I’ve also always been the kind of person who responds to “You can’t do that” with “Watch me.” So sometimes I might have to dump that bowl of Cheerios right on their head.
LikeLike
I can totally see you being a “Watch me!” kind of gal. 🙂 It’s always those quiet ones…
LOL. This comment slayed me, Marcy…thanks again for voting!!
LikeLike
Must a been Cheerio pissing day yesterday. I posted pictures from the cruise I took with my best friend on facebook and some yahoo made a snarky fashion remark about her. That comes from a very small place in someone’s heart. Mom was right. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!
LikeLike
How rude is THAT? Dang, Jane. It’s not even the full moon right now. 🙂 I hope you had a wonderful time on your cruise!!
LikeLike
Cruise was good and I deleted the idiot’s comment. I just don’t know why people have to be that way. And congratulations to your military spouse of the year.
LikeLike
Go, Tara. MSOY wow, she must be all kinds of awesomesauce.
I’ve gotten better over the years at moving my bowl, but I still have a way to go. I’ve gone from not defending myself, to defending myself and feeling guilty about it, to trying to let things go. If someone is mean enough to be cruel to another person that is their problem, I do not need to make it mine. I should re-read that a few times, lol
LikeLike
She IS all kinds of awesomesauce…thanks, Sidney!
I think I’m a few years older than you and I’ve gotta say, letting go when something (or someone) is bugging you never really gets easy. Good for you that you’re progressing on this issue. 🙂
LikeLike
I just chalk it up to people being unhappy with themselves — after all, if they don’t KNOW you, they can’t be remarking about YOU, right? It’s that old thing about when you point a finger at someone, there’s four more, pointing back at you.
Easy for me to say – it wasn’t about me!
Move the bowl….I LOVE that! (and the bacon comment. Wish I was that clever!)
LikeLike
I know! Can you imagine how nice it would be to get that kind of clever repartee without having to edit 23 times. 🙂
LikeLike
What an honor for Tara, and for your family. 😀
“When someone tries to piss in your Cheerios, move your bowl” needs to be on a mug and a t-shirt and a tote bag. And a Pinterest pin. (May I make a pin of it for my quotable board?) More, it needs to be a movement. For today, it’s going to be my context. 🙂
LikeLike
Of course you can, Ellen! I agree wholeheartedly. 🙂
LikeLike
Ellen, you are QUEEN of fab badge-making! Still love our Holiday Yum badge.
LikeLike
Right?? You should see what she did…it’s so cute!
LikeLike
Ohhh… Thanks, Kathy. 🙂
LikeLike
Congrats to Tara! She certainly deserves to be celebrated today. No one should be pissing in her Cheerios. Ever.
LikeLike
You and me, Tameri…same page completely. Tara has done years of thankless service before ever being nominated so I think this nameless gal can go suck an egg. (See how calm I am??)
LikeLike
Woo HOO to Tara! I don’t know what military life is like, but I can imagine. So happy for her, and for your family. And I agree – no one should piss in her Cheerios. Glad her friends rallied around!
LikeLike
Her friends rocked it! They were so great, I had to commemorate them in 35 markets on the Social In network too. 🙂
LikeLike
Pingback: International Women's Day Ellen M. Gregg - Writer, Vegan
Some people have too much time on their hands if they have time to be mean. Sheesh. The supportive comments back were great! I’m so glad she won–I voted. 🙂 Congratulations to Tara!
LikeLike
Right on, Diana! Too much time is right.
Thanks so very much for your votes. We all really, really wanted her to win this thing.
LikeLike
I’m so happy for Tara! Someone like that doesn’t get to be MSOY without a great posse; that person is probably super disagreeable and lonely (not to mention jealous). It always surprises me, though, when someone reacts in such a bitter way. Thanks for the fab post, Jenny!
LikeLike
Yep, I agree right down the line, Kathy. And Tara has been working on Army Wife Network for YEARS. So, we’re pretty excited she was finally help up for all that hard work.
LikeLike
Yay for Tara! I tend to dive into Cheerio attacks, or at least keep “eating” meanwhile. There’s goodness to be had no matter what’s infesting the bowl, and whatever we focus on grows.
LikeLike
And I love that about you, August. You’re a shit-disturber after my own heart. 🙂
LikeLike
I love everything about this post 🙂 Congrats to Tara!
LikeLike
Me too!
Especially: “Move. Your. Bowl.” Brilliance
LikeLike
Thanks, ladies. You two are just fantastic every day. 🙂 p.s. Amy, log into the Fast Draft group…there’s nifty things afoot!
LikeLike
Loved this. I’m totally with Marcy. Watch me! However, I’ve had to move my bowl so many times. It gets easier, feels less like defeat and more like they’re being petty with practice 😀 Great post.
LikeLike
Yep, I can see that about you, Lisa. You just dig in until you’ve got a trench to the goal. (I love that in a person!)
LikeLike
OMG love it! Move. Your. Bowl. Fantastic Jenny and thanks so much for sharing. It’s sad when the little people in life try to build themselves UP by tearing others down. Sad and small. It can hurt but I do try to remind myself that a) it’s not personal and B) it’s more a reflection on THEM than on me! BAM!
GREAT post!
LikeLike
Exactly, Nat. Reading this comment is giving me Hartford withdrawals…you know that, right?
LikeLike
Most of the time if someone pisses in my Cheerios, I’ll just move my bowl, but, if the opportunity presents itself, I will poop on their steak.
That’s how I roll – I’m an opportunist but I work on the sly. I’ll lay in wait for just the right time, then BAM.
Congratulations to your family for being so supportive of each other and showing your winning spirit!
Patricia Rickrode
w/a Jansen Schmidt
LikeLike
LOL…go, Patricia!
LikeLike
See, I love that about you…you get even! I can never stay focused for that long. 🙂
LikeLike
A, so far, lone male voice: Babette’s advice is universal. Women will get it before most guys. Bitchin’ is in our genes, ergo, we eat a lot of pee-flavored Cheerios. Weird thing, a lot of guys get to like the flavor.
LikeLike
Nope, we’ve got Phil further down, Tom, so you don’t feel so alone. (Although, how fun is it to be surrounded by nice ladies, right?)
LikeLike
I am a psychologist but there are some things that even I can’t quite fathom about human beings, and this is one of them. Why does anyone have to piss in someone else’s Cheerios? Okay, I know all the theories about poor self-esteem, etc. but it still does not compute for me. I tend to be the “dump the bowl on their head” type when this happens to me. But often times, moving the bowl would be the more useful response.
Congrats to Tara and good to know so many people are supporting her. Life as a military spouse cannot be easy and we should honor the spouses as much as we do the men and women who serve.
LikeLike
Kassandra, I don’t understand it either. There’s just no reason to be unkind.
Tara and her family have been through several deployments and my favorite story is that of “Flat Daddy.” Flat Daddy rode in the car, sat at the table and hung out by the kids’ beds. The oldest more than the younger talked to him all the time, in addition to visiting with him on Skype.
When Tara’s youngest was due, Kevin was still deployed overseas so they put Flat Daddy into the delivery room and took family photos with him. I swear to God, it looks like Kevin was there. 🙂
When I think of having my baby without my husband present, I just want to cry. I don’t think most people really compute the amount of service and sacrifice contributed by every member of a military family.
LikeLike
Congrats to Tara! We have a military wife in my family as her husband is in the Air Force. It’s never easy and now we found out he might be sent abroad again soon.
There will always be haters out there. Best thing is to just ignore them. Jealousy, envy, and greed motivates them, and they hate seeing others happy or successful. That’s why they attack out of the blue.
Move the bowl as you said. Life is too short to eat bad Cheerios. Now, if only they made bacon flavored cheerios! Oh boy!
Phil
http://www.blog.theregularguynyc.com
LikeLike
Oh, Phil! I know that people enlist in order to serve and that includes being deployed, but it is so hard on the family left behind. Safe journey to your relative!
LikeLike
Congrats to Tara! And as Scott Stratten says, “Don’t try to win over the haters. You’re not the jackass whisperer.”
LikeLike
The Jackass Whisperer…*snort*
LikeLike
Congratulations to your cousin, Tara. I have learned that when someone makes a biting comment or issues a vicious judgment, it says far more about that person than it does about me. There’s really no need to come up with a snappy retort. Simply ignoring the criticizer is just about the worst thing you can do to them, for its the negative attention they’re craving. If you’re true to yourself, you need never worry about another person’s judgment.
LikeLike
Excellent point, Kathleen…EXCELLENT point. 🙂
LikeLike
If someone pissed in my Cheerios, I would definitely move the bowl. To the wastebasket. After I put on a pair of rubber gloves. Maybe four or six gloves. And I would. When I lived in town and had mice, if one pooped on a dish, I would throw the dish away….
Okay…seriously though….CONGRATULATIONS, TARA!!!! I’m so glad she won! But sorrier that someone had to try and (in the words of one of my favorite authors) ‘be a weed in her garden.’ I think things like that come from people who feel so bad about themselves that hurting others is the only joy they get out of life. It’s kind of sad really. I can’t imagine being that unhappy. Mostly though, it just makes you want to…well, see Patricia’s solution.
What do I do when I run into people like that? I used to cry, but then I stopped crying (unless it’s over a video about a dog rescue or something). Now I just ignore them. Unless I have PMS, and then I’ll think about about it and be ticked for a while. And then I’ll write them into a book. They’re always the one who will do things like slip in elephant poop a few times, and then ruin the upholstery in their $100k sports car because they’re too far from home to walk. Okay, so I’ve never written about that..but if I did write about someone slipping in elephant poop…they’re ones who would be bathing in it. 🙂
LikeLike
Look at you, girl…growing like that. It used to bother me a lot more when I was younger too. Thanks so much for all your support in the “Team Tara” voting. She appreciated it and so did I!
LikeLike
First, congratulations to your awesome cousin. The life of a military wife (say that 3 times fast) is not easy. I watched my mom do it for 10 years. I have lots of friends who are either in the military or married to the military (and I said that right…you really kind of are…and you’re #2 in that relationship pretty much always). Kudos to her for such a wonderful accomplishment.
On to the second part…Hmmm. When someone pees in my cheerios? It actually doesn’t happen all that often. I will say that I’m realizing over the years that there have been a lot more attempts than I knew to take a pee, but it didn’t even make a blip on my radar. This can apparently piss those nasty types off or cause them to give up. The ones who successfully draw my attention to their urinary stream directed my way? Well, if I smile…they should be very afraid. It’s a sort of “Do it. I dare you.” grin. I take it as a challenge….and I rarely lose (too competitive).
If you want to see me go all Lorena Bobbitt on the pisser…Let them aim their stream at friends or family. They won’t be peeing again. I’m very creative in how I send messages. Just sayin’.
LikeLike
I think it’s fantastic that you stay your course and don’t really notice all those nasty efforts. But yes, I’m with you…don’t be going after my peeps!! I get cranky.
LikeLike
I’m playing blog catch-up today! Yikes, am I behind!
*pompoms waving* 3 Cheers for Tara!!! And for you and the whole cheering squad who helped make it happen!
I’m with the Move.Your. Bowl. movement (trust the amazing Gloria Richard to come up with “village bowel movement” – LOL). Nobody should ever have so little in their hearts and minds that they need to spoil any bowl of cheerios!
LikeLike
Thanks, Patricia!! And don’t worry, I’m behind on comments too.
There is simply no one else like Gloria. I don’t know where she even comes up with this stuff, but it slays me. 🙂
LikeLike
Awesome blog post and congrats to Tara! That is just awesome! And big hugs on the pissing. As my my hubs likes to say, “Some people wouldn’t be happy if they were hung with a new rope.” Tara has some amazing and wonderful friends. In the end, those are the ones that really count.
LikeLike
My mom always said that too. Fun. Thanks for your kind words…she does have a hell of a support team and it does matter. 🙂
LikeLike
Congrats to Tara! She got my vote and a couple of others.
Thank her for her and her husband’s service to us and our country!
-Jay
@jaytechdad
LikeLike
Pingback: Yes - We Did It On Purpose! - Lisa Hall-Wilson