Crazy Books, Part 5 ~ A DIY Guide for Variety in The Bedroom

MakeYourOwnSexToysYou can tell from the title that we love to seek out (and make fun of) unusual book titles here at More Cowbell. I stumbled over this one by accident, looking for “Valentine’s Day Fail” pictures.

For those of you who are crafty, or who are looking to add a “Do It Yourself” project to your list, this book is for you.

Alternately, if you’re looking for a good gag gift, this book is for you. (Although, if you think about it, sex toys are inherently a DIY project, whether they’re purchased or crafted.)

Note: I’m posting this on Monday to give you time to order, since it is only available in paperback. There are those who are sick of all this couple-focused Hearts & Flowers business and they’d just like to putter around with their glue stick for Valentine’s Day if you know what I mean.

No matter what your plans are for Thursday, I think y’all need to know about this book…it’ll brighten up your Monday.

Make Your Own Sex Toys: 50 Quick and Easy Do-It-Yourself Projects – $7.00
Publication Date: June 7, 2007

Note: The book reviews alone will make it worth your while to click on that link!

Book Description:

Giving new meaning to the expression “take pleasure into your own hands,” Make Your Own Sex Toys is a witty yet practical guide featuring how-to directions for 50 inventive DIY accoutrements. Readers can whip up the Knitted Willy Warmer for cold winter nights, get turned on with the Electro Stimu vibrator, or assemble the Mutual Member double-dildo to cheer up a lonely friend. (I was DYING by the time I got to the Knitted Willy Warmer.)

Practical information plus easy-to-follow instructions and diagrams ensure professional results even for the crafting novice. With quick-reference sidebars, crafty improvisation ideas, and handy shortcuts, Make Your Own Sex Toys is sure to get the creative juices flowing.

**********

Um, yeah. I’ll bet that’s not all that gets flowing.

As many of you know, the part about these crazy books that cracks me up the most (besides these wacky book descriptions) is Amazon’s “Customers who bought this item, also bought…” section. (Strangely enough, our Crazy Book #2 is included in the list below.)

CrazyBook5_AlsoBought

Wowzers! I would never have imagined a book like this. But I’m doing the math here and it just doesn’t add up for me.

Why should I spend $7 on this book and still more on the “supplies” when I can get the Basik Kinky Kit of Sex Toys Used in FIFTY SHADES for $14.99? (Yes, that’s really what it’s called.)

I just did a quick browse of already created sex toys on Amazon and I can get pretty much anything a guy or gal would need to um…”do it themselves,” for under $50 from Amazon. And that includes shipping. I’m just sayin…

Plus, I’m a little scared by the idea of the Electro Stimu or assembling the Mutual Member thingamajig. I can’t even put together a bookshelf from IKEA. Yet this author thinks I can be trusted to complete a project where electricity will be conducted to my hoohah? *shakes head* Silly, silly male author.

Most women don’t have that same MacGyver instinct that’s built into men.  Especially when it comes to items that will make contact with our nether-regions. No…just no.

How about you? Do you prefer to buy your sex toys ready-made or are you intrigued by the idea of making them yourself? (Yes, I want to hear your craziest ideas in the comments.) What books have you stumbled across lately that made your mouth fall open in shock? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

Announcements:

  • I found all sorts of things for Hearts & Flowers week…and I’ll be sharing them here all week long.
  • Also, there’s still time to win a LinkedIn profile analysis from last week’s WANACon giveaway. I’m drawing it on Valentine’s Day. Be sure to visit – we’re also doing a Pimp and Promote!

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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37 Responses to Crazy Books, Part 5 ~ A DIY Guide for Variety in The Bedroom

  1. zkullis says:

    I’m in the middle of a commute, or I would spend more time whipping up a nifty reply. I’ll do that later. Right now I’m just trying to not laugh my ass off in front of total strangers……

    Like

    • G-man! Welcome back from your edit hiatus, or wherever you’ve had yourself or unnamed parts tunneled away.

      The topic of this post (coupled with That Jenny Hansen Chick stealing most of the best double entendre YKWIM opportunities) gives me the courage to suggest that…

      If you whipped out something other than a nifty response you might no longer be surrounded by total strangers. Just sayin…

      Like

      • zkullis says:

        Thanks! It’s good to be back. And just in time too! This post is great! The comment about the patients in the nursing home had me laughing and crying.

        This book would make a great gag-gift. 😉 Maybe I could wrap it in a few of those knitted skivvies I bought……

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        • Jenny Hansen says:

          Our Lithuanian knitter keeps coming up with new designs, and Lord knows I’ve given her plenty of exposure here at the blog…it’s so nice to know who’s buying those mundies! Thanks for being a supporter of small business, Zack. (and there was NO *if you know what I mean* intended in that last sentence.)

          Like

    • Last sentence above was a joke, G-man! I know you’re not that kind of dude.

      I could say I meant you could whip out your WIP, but all would know that would be a BFL (Big Fat Lie). BFL is an acronym I invented and use often occasionally. Nope. No clue why I find it necessary.

      Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You won’t laugh your ass off in front of total strangers, Zack? Where’s your sense of adventure? And think of all those new readers we missed out on by you being too shy to pass this post around the train… LOL.

      Like

  2. Laura Drake says:

    ‘putter around with their glue stick for Valentine’s Day,’ OMG Jenny, you’re funnier than the books – and that’s going some! Thanks for the Monday laugh!

    Like

  3. K.B. Owen says:

    ROFL, Jenny! I’m thinking of that Etsy knitter in Lithuania, who sells the trouser snake/elephant/butterfly mundies…maybe she can get the 21st century Kinkycrafts book and, ahem, expand her line….

    And you’re right, we gals don’t go in for the MacGyver DIY projects when it comes to our “nether eye” (to quote Chaucer).

    You always find the coolest stuff for your peeps! Thanks for the Monday a.m. snort!
    ~Kathy

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    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Chaucer wrote about the “nether-eye??” The things you learn…I tell you, blogging is amazing. And I agree with you – our Lithuanian friend could make a boatload of moolah off a book called Kinkycrafts. Only I think she’s focused on wholesome fun, which is why she delights me so.🙂

      Like

  4. Jane Sadek says:

    Yes, Amazon’s suggestions can really brighten up a slow afternoon.

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  5. Jenny – you continue to be a hoot and a half! Hugs, woman!

    Like

  6. Jess Witkins says:

    Oh my. How do you find something like this? LOL. And of course, OF COURSE there’s a kinky kit from 50 Shades. Good grief!

    How old is the book you found? I just did a post on the history of the vibrator, and that electro stimu-gadget sounds like an early vibrator to me! Too funny!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You know what’s freaky, Jess? I saw no less than THREE “Fifty Shades” kits on Amazon. Geesh. The book was from 2007, which means it was probably sent to a publisher in 2004 or 2005.😀

      Like

  7. tomwisk says:

    Hi Jenny. When I saw DIY in the Bedroom, I thought; a fantasy, movie or magazine etc. But no, you took it to another level. Building stuff to pleasure your partner? It’s difficult enough to find willing partners, the only kind, without breaking out the Skilsaw and accouterment. Was following a thread started by me Googling Eight Hour Diet on Men’s Health and found an attractive doctor, at least she said she was, explaining anal sex. As men we need as much sexual instruction as possible, but a video lecture?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      NO! Do you know how many poor saps that “doctor” trapped in her web? I’m guessing thousands! Now you have me imagining Skilsaws in the Sex Toy Craft Project and I’m giggling.

      Like

      • tomwisk says:

        Though in the red dress and all she kinda looked like she’d give good advice. And why would Men’s Health hire a ringer?

        Like

        • Jenny Hansen says:

          A ringer? That’s a name for a hooker? I learn something new every day! I didn’t realize she was a loop moderator. I just thought she jumped in to pick up some men. You’ve read my dating posts — apparently anal sex is the current fascination. *shudders*

          Like

  8. L.O.V.E. this, Jenny. [Despite you getting dibs on most of the YKWIM and Just sayin’… comments]

    Since your linky-love stats will show what I clicked, I’ll fess up.

    I got enlarged images of the books on your people-who-bought-this-also-bought list; books you haven’t yet shared with us.

    Pornogami? Is this a craft book about turning innocent paper into phallic images, or is it a Chiropractor’s recommended reading for people who don’t yet need his/her services?

    How about the one with a word I can not put on your site? The word that sounds remarkably similar to masticate (Which is, to chew.). I wonder what images one should not look at while mastic chewing. Curious minds…

    Perhaps our lewd, lithe, lascivious, lecherous and lustily-funny Lithuanian Love-Nuts & Screw Nest Knitter already has the book on 21st Century Kinky Crafts.

    Yes, that last sentence would benefit from edits. I choose not to.

    Like

  9. Wow! I just added that to my Amazon wish list (NOT!). I have to say that some toys could enhance intimate moments, but I think all that’s really necessary are a couple of people with some time and imagination. Every time I see (or read about) that knitted underwear, all I can think is if a guy I was with was cold enough to wear those (and that would be the ONLY acceptable reason to put them on), I could probably come up with a better, itch-free solution.🙂

    Like

  10. “A witty yet practical guide . . .” Of course it’s witty. Like anyone is going to take this seriously. Really, a DIY dildo? And the knitted Willy warmer goes hand-in-hand with the homemake knitted undies you’re been touting for quite some time now. You can get the Willy warmer, or the entire garmet to warm the backside at the same time.

    Take pleasure into my own hands? Well, duh. That’s a no brainer, but honestly does one even need a tool to accomplish that?

    Just another gimmick to make money I say. And then I say “Damn, why didn’t I think of that. I’d be rich now.”

    Another fun and interesting post.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Like

  11. Reading some of those comments reminded me of another product I found one day. No, I wasn’t looking this product up, but there it was…so I just had to check it out. It’s a hair removal system for men…and OMG…I laughed until tears were streaming down my face (and I STILL kept reading). If you want to laugh yourself sick…

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Creme/dp/B000KKNQBK

    Like

  12. I accidentally landed on some site the other day and it had a whole bunch of naughty titles: The Pussy Book {it wasn’t about kitties} and The Big Book of Penises. These are not on my list of must -reads. Although, they would be fun to stumble upon in someone’s bathroom!😉

    Like

  13. susielindau says:

    Hilarious! Move over Martha Stewart! Hahaha!🙂 Personally I would want anything to fall apart at an inopportune moment!
    Thanks for bringing this to the party. Have fun clicking on links and they will click back. Tell them “Susie sent me!” The more you click the better your results! Have fun!

    Like

  14. Joanna Shupe says:

    This really made me laugh. Yes, when I think “sex toy,” DIY doesn’t generally leap to mind.

    Thanks for the chuckle!

    Like

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