The Undie Chronicles, Volume VI: Valentine’s G-Knit Edition

Those of you who are new to More Cowbell might have missed The Undie Chronicles. The regular posse here knows: When the Undie-verse speaks, we will always listen.

To refresh your Undie Chronicle memory:

We began with the G-knits in the comments of Episode II

The posse voted for these in pink fun-fur

Before moving on to the “Mundies” in Episode V:

Man-Undies_Elephant-Grey_Etsy

Would you look at the nostrils on those suckers??

What do you get when you cross
g-knits with exotic animals and insects?

(Y’all are about to find out!)

Our favorite Etsy knitter has entered what we’ll call her “Butterfly Period.” (Hey, Picasso had a “Rose Period”…Monet had a “Blue Period.” You can’t judge art.)

Our gal’s got some new undie-fashion for men. Interestingly, these knitted nothings cover about half of what the last ones did. It should also be noted – she uses mannequins now to model. Perhaps the live guys got picked up for other better-paying undie ads. Perhaps they ran away…

Available in a wide assortment of colors...

Available in a wide assortment of colors…

Ladies: If you’re thinking about your Valentine’s Day “come get me Big Boy” presents, you’ve got TEN days. She doesn’t even need measurements for these new g-strings, and she can finish them in a single day. Still, they’re shipping from Vilnius, Lithuania so you need to get cracking.

Men: Be prepared to have your fanny feeling the breeze. (Note to British readers: “fanny” is the derriere here in the States, not the flipside *if you know what I mean*)

Note: If you MUST have the butterfly, but can’t bear the butt breeze, you might want to try these instead (see below).

Full-coverage Butterfly Shorts

Full-coverage Butterfly Shorts

I swear if I ever hit Eastern Europe, I’m going to wangle tea time with this woman. She’s so creative. Plus, I’ve got to wangle a lesson in how to knit undies.

Would you buy or wear something like this as a Valentine’s Day present? What’s the most memorable V-Day present you’ve ever given or received? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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55 Responses to The Undie Chronicles, Volume VI: Valentine’s G-Knit Edition

  1. Jenny, the word wangle on a post with these knit-to-order-for-your-man-bat undies could be toyed with by a person who didn’t have the discretion I possess.

    Wangle. Hmmm. It rhymes with dangle.

    It also rhymes with angle. “How do you hang, left or right?” Never mind the ups-and-downs of other options.

    Wangle. Alliterative buddies of wang, whacker, and wankie.

    Yes, I googled. Yes. I found a website dedicated to slang terms. No. I will not disclose it

    I may go all whacky-wild and do a post on this topic myself. The topic may morph into a more-than-a-passing-thought advice column authored by Sated Sadie and Hugo First.

    One of your male Posse members has accepted the role of Hugo First. I choose not to disclose his name, because he may not yet want to go pubic public.

    My question — before designing one of these Ka-Snort– worthy masterpieces…

    Are there any consumer reviews? I’d hate to LOL when a man dropped his pants. Worse. I’d hate to discover his knitted undies gave him a nasty rash. Happy VD, indeed! Just sayin’…

    Like

  2. Hubby aka Blog Heckler says:

    Why is it always something either cute or pre-dick-table? Butterfly….elephants snout.

    How about something manly like a grizzly arm or a gun barrel/rocket launcher?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I think you should click one of those links and ask her this question. Be sure to come back here and tell us what she says. Enquiring minds want to know…

      Like

    • Leave it to you to wonder that question…LOL!!!

      I like the “cutsie” animals…they “pretty up” your package baby!!

      Besides, it’s about what your lady friend will be most impressed by – what will woo and ohhh ahhhh her!! And let me tell ya, a gun barrel or rocket launcher undie would likely frighten my poor itty bitty hooha into a frigid bitch.

      Don’t even get me started on what a GRIZZLY arm would do?!?! I can hear my nest now…”don’t you come at me with that thang!!! We closed for business!!!”

      Like

  3. susielindau says:

    Can you imagine if your grandma knit those boxers????🙂

    Like

  4. amyskennedy says:

    I’m impressed with the mannequins! How could anyone stop laughing long enough to have any sex?

    Like

  5. K.B. Owen says:

    Oh, Jenny, we’re whooping it up now! So glad you brought back the mundies! Maybe some of the gals ordering them could ask if the stuffing is included, har-har. I wonder what this Lithuanian lady is thinking about as she knits these? Perhaps Gloria can give us some running dialogue…she’s so good at that….

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I want to know what my little Etsy knitter is thinking too. I’ll bet she’s watching soap operas while she knits. Oh, yes, she is… All that naked passion has got to be a strong influence.

      Gloria! Your fans await some Lithuanian knitter dialog.🙂

      Like

    • Moi? Good at running dialog?

      Pondering whether running dialog is synonymous with aimless blather. My self-esteem chooses to believe otherwise.

      I’ll be back. Awaiting inspiration for aimless blather running dialog. Have to get in “voice” for a Lithuanian Grandma.

      Like

  6. Julie Glover says:

    I just can’t get over WINGS emerging from that area. Living in Texas, I also can’t imagine a time when knitted undies would be a good idea. You’ve started off my day with a laugh and a head-shake.

    (By the way, that mannequin doesn’t look like any of the ones I remember in store windows.)

    Like

  7. Speaking of wings…one of the old Harlequins (I’m talking 30 years ago now) had the man “spread her wings and slip inside her”. No. Not Kidding. We have WINGS? LOLOL!

    Love the Undies posts, always, Jenny!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Spread her WINGS??? Gah! That just sounds creepy, and soooo not sexy. You’ve got to wonder about those early Harlequin editors that passed all these things through to print.

      I saw one that talked about the hero, Garrett. At one point, it referred to him as “Garrett-cles, God of Beefcake.” I mean, really.

      Like

  8. zkullis says:

    Maybe we should assist this sweet little Lithuanian lady with marketing ideas? I have to side with Blog Heckler….. These knitted skivvies really could use a testosterone boost. How about;

    The Sherman-ator – Built to look like a Sherman tank.

    King Slong – A tribute to the great beast who climbed the Empire State Building. Of course, the building would take up most of the knitting……

    I’m just saying, if I’m going to be wearing some knitted jockies (although they do sound nice and soft), I’ll want something that will scream “Real men wear knit!”

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      “Real men wear knit??!” That’s a fine slogan, Zack…I think you’d be a marketing genius for this Lithuanian knit-artist. King Schlong is my personal favorite…

      Like

    • Ok…like I told the blog heckler up there (he’s my hubby, so I can tell him these things…), anything THAT manly is only going to scare a poor girl’s hooha into tomorrow…manly for you, frightening for the little nest.

      If King Slong comes swinging at me, I am getting out my bat and taking that bad boy DOWN!

      ROFL!!!

      Like

  9. I want to wear all of these myself! Psychoanalyze away. I’m not ashamed. LOL Thanks for the giggles, Jenny. You are the undie queen.

    Like

  10. I want to order a couple dozen of these. And then I want to take them to the laundromat.

    Not sure I’d want to see a guy wearing any of these. I’m thinking laughing until tears ran down my face would be a surefire way to kill the mood. But I think I’d like to meet the man who could fill out the purple and red/cream striped undies. Just because…

    And quick question on the butterfly pair. WHAT color is that? And am I the only one who thinks it looks like something you might find in a baby’s diaper? Totally NOT a color that screams ‘sexy’ to me.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      That second one definitely has the industrial building/baby diaper going for it. But WHAT do you plan to do with these at the laundromat, girlfriend? Enquiring minds want to know…

      Like

      • Oh…I just want to go to a busy laundromat, maybe on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, and wash and dry them. Then take my time folding them all at a table in the center of the building. Just to see expressions. Maybe hold them in the air for a minute, as I glance at a guy or two, then back at the underwear (or munderwear?), kind of wrinkle my nose, and shake my head (as in nope, you couldn’t fill this out), then finish folding them and leave.🙂

        Like

        • Jenny Hansen says:

          *clutches sides laughing*

          You are SO mean. BAHAHAHA! And if you live in a small town, I guarantee you’ll get media coverage over this event.

          Like

          • Well…I get bored pretty easily. What can I say. At some point, while filling out my taxes tonight, I was thinking it might be fun to have fashion show with them. You know, all the guys who post on our blogs, or male WANA members. We ladies could sit back, and they could dance…kind of like the Chippendale’s. Only instead of revealing skimpy Speedo’s or G-strings, they could wear these babies. Be still my heart!🙂

            Small town… Hmm. Is 9,099 (most recent estimate) a small town? I’ve been going to do a blog post on Michigan (but keep forgetting). Maybe I’ll have to do one on the town that’s closest to me, too.

            Like

  11. If that yarn is wool, of my goodness the horrible itching that must go on.

    Please do try to “wangle” an invite to meet the designer of these incredible . . . undies doesn’t seem quite right . . . works of art.

    My goodness, you do manage to find some incredible things out there in the webosphere.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Like

  12. Butterflies are very “in” right now…what can I say!?! I like my man’s undies to trendy and hip. I think he’d look fabulous in a pair…either style! I may have to consider getting on her rush list. OHHHH OHHHH wait….maybe I could volunteer to have hubby MODEL them for her to use on her site…we could score FREE knit undies and she’d get the “real deal” IYKWIM…I am sure that’d help sales!!! And I know hubby’d be just tickled PINK to be so “cutting edge” when it comes to his undies…squeeee….

    Like

  13. filbio says:

    Damn, you ladies are a dirty little bunch! I like that!
    So glad i follow this blog! This had me laughing hard!

    And yes, I have worn something similar in the past.

    Phil
    http://www.blog.theregularguynyc.com

    Like

  14. Pingback: 10 Posts That Rang Your Cowbell + 10 More That Rang Mine | Jenny Hansen's Blog

  15. I can’t begin to imagine how itchy those things must be to wear! Actually, I don’t want to imagine it. LOL

    Like

  16. Breezy Vee says:

    Hey! I nominated your blog for an award! Please accept it here, and Congratulations!
    http://writersblockgame.wordpress.com/2013/02/05/inspiring-folks-yup-thats-what-i-do/

    Like

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