How “50 Shades of Hay” Led To The Amish Erotics

Lena rocking a lampshade...

Lena rocking a lampshade…

Lena Corazon is a lampshade-wearing instigator of epic proportions. Y’all do know that she was the real force behind several of the Undie Chronicles, right?

Speaking of epic…Friday night’s party at the #myWANA hashtag on Twitter was an absolute blast!

If you weren’t there, you missed a ton of fun, virtual drinks, snacks and jello shots…AND the creation of a new band of back-up dancers called the Amish Erotics.

[Don’t pout. We’ll be having another party.]

Now, before you start shaking your heads about how “Amish” and “erotic” don’t go together, lets’s give you some background.

Our pal, August McLaughlin, is an amazing musician and she’s starting to perform locally around Los Angeles. During Friday’s party (after a couple jello shots and table dances), we got it into our heads to support her act in the form of backup dancing. (Poor, poor August…)

August’s Last Gig – Before the advent of the Amish Erotics (AE’s)

AugustM_Gig

Here’s the chat that led to the gold lame wearing AE’s (you’ll notice Lena kicked this off):

@LenaCorazon: @AugstMcLaughlin If I can don glitter and gold lame, I would love to be a backup dancer. @KarenMcFarland_ @JennyHansenCA

@Julie_Glover: @lenacorazon @AugstMcLaughlin @KarenMcFarland_ @JennyHansenCA Gold lame? Yes! Yes! (Used to wish I was Tina Turner.)

*We went on for a while, talking about the supreme hotness of Tina Turner. *

Interesting trivia: I believe Tina’s legs come up to my armpits, especially in those smokin’ hot heels. (Whereas I’d go splat during the first strut across the stage.)

Lena Corazon and Julie Glover both spun this gem on the turntable about an hour before the party ended…those ladies were totally in sync.

After watching that, I’m sure you understand all the raving about Tina’s “hottie factor.” I mean, dang…did you see them legs?

Then August opened the door to mayhem:

@AugstMcLaughlin: @Julie_Glover @LenaCorazon @KarenMcFarland_ @JennyHansenCA ~ And you’re ALL hired for my gig. Feather boas provided.

@BMcDowellOH: @AugstMcLaughlin I’ll be a remote back up dancer. I just need a cape and glow sticks. @KarenMcFarland_ @JennyHansenCA @lenacorazon

@AugstMcLaughlin: @BMcDowellOH @KarenMcFarland_ @JennyHansenCA @LenaCorazon ~ Done, Barbara! I’ll show you on the screen via Skype. S’gonna be HOT.

@BMcDowellOH: @augstmclaughlin @KarenMcFarland_ @JennyHansenCA @LenaCorazon ~ Oh yeah. I’m wicked with the glow sticks.

@JennyHansenCA: @AugstMcLaughlin @BMcDowellOH @KarenMcFarland_ @LenaCorazon ~ Yeah, baby! The age of technology. Skyped back-up dancers.

@RASJacobson: @JennyHansenCA WIsh I could! You have no idea! Would love to support @AugstMcLaughlin!

Then I cracked the door to mayhem a little wider with a reference to one of my favorite Kristen Lamb quotes*:

@JennyHansenCA: @lishafink @RASJacobson @AugstMcLaughlin ~ Amish Erotica: 50 Shades of Hay (via @KristenLambTX)

@lishafink: @JennyHansenCA Bahaha! @RASJacobson @AugstMcLaughlin @KristenLambTX

@RASJacobson: @JennyHansenCA @lishafink @AugstMcLaughlin @KristenLambTX ~ Outstanding. (In a field.)

@AugstMcLaughlin: @JennyHansenCA @lishafink @RASJacobson @KristenLambTX ~ ROFL! Okay, that’s the dancer posse’s name: The Amish Erotics.

@JennyHansenCA: @AugstMcLaughlin @lishafink @RASJacobson @KristenLambTX ~I could be a member of the Amish Erotics, if you know what I mean. #NeedCap

@GloriaWrites: @augstmclaughlin SKA-Weet! I’m part Amish. I can be a dancer, right? No boundaries.

@LenaCorazon: @AugstMcLaughlin BEST. NAME. EVER. @JennyHansenCA @lishafink @RASJacobson @KristenLambTX

@lishafink: @AugstMcLaughlin That’s probably the one dance line I would fit in. #coveritup @JennyHansenCA @RASJacobson @KristenLambTX

@JennyHansenCA: @RASJacobson ~ Waving bye!!!! Now come to the west coast and we’ll all go to August’s gig on 2/20 #DancingQueens  

* In case you’re wondering about the original “50 Shades of Hay” conversation, it happened over dinner last July and went like this:

Kristen: Talking about today’s book market.

Me: Well, you know, Amish romance is still extremely hot right now.

Kristen: Oh, really?? What…like “50 Shades of Hay?”
(Of course the whole table went into hysterics.)

I thought that was the end of that, but I should know better. With these crazy WANA peeps, anything is possible.  Even the “Amish Erotics” in gold lame.

Did you know this much fun could be had on Twitter? Have you ever sung in a band? What was the name of your back-up posse? If you’ve thought of an even better name for August’s back-up dancers, feel free to share it down in the comments. Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
This entry was posted in Humor, More Cowbell and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

72 Responses to How “50 Shades of Hay” Led To The Amish Erotics

  1. Jane Sadek says:

    I’m laughing, but I still don’t get Twitter. I think I’m too old for virtual parties.

    Like

  2. LOL Sounds like you guys had a blast. Now someone just needs to write The 50 Shades of Hay. Hot Amish romance + big trend must be a big hit😉

    Like

  3. I can’t believe I missed it!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Well I don’t know who’s hosting the next one, but there will be MORE. I promise you. We had way too much fun.

      It seems like between #ROW80 and #myWANA, we do this every 6 months or so.

      Like

  4. Julie Glover says:

    In the midst of the party chaos, somehow I did not catch that August’s band was Amish Erotics. I may have to rethink my participation. I may need more gold lame and feathered boas to reel me in. LOL.

    One of the best things about hanging out with writers is that we love words–and all of the wordplay and jokes that you can crack with them. Kristen’s original joke is brilliant. And then my witty friends are always able to get me laughing. And believe it or not, I managed to read two chapters of a mystery, edit (polish) two chapters of a novel, and eat dinner while at the Twitter party. All while reclining on my couch in jammies and slippers. My kind of party.😉 Thanks for hosting, Jenny!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      If you come play with us here in Southern California, I’m positive August and I will happily drape you in gold lame and feathers.🙂

      I agree with you that writers are a stitch…especially when the conversation comes through their fingertips. It kind of slides over the introvert/shy factor.

      Like

      • If the offer applies to all Amish Erotic dancers, start stocking up on gold lame and feathers.

        There may be a trip to San Francisco in my near-term future, followed by a stop in San Louis Obispo to visit my Aunt/Uncle, followed by…

        Hmmm. Who else to add to the travel itinerary.

        Zipping off now to look at budget numbers. It’s either a free-to-be-me travel-thon or therapy. I choose travel.

        Like

  5. It was fun! And you did a great job writing it up. It doesn’t always translate!🙂

    Like

  6. darcyflynn says:

    I had to leave the party before this happened. Sorry I missed it. I’ll be in Los Angeles from the 11-20th, so if there’s a rehearsal for the Amish Erotics, count me in! lol

    Like

  7. susielindau says:

    I missed the Amish jokes! I have a great photo to go with them too!🙂

    Like

  8. Clearly I left the party too early:/ Y’all were sitting at the tiki bar sipping Mai Tai’s when I left. I think it’s safer to be a spectator if the Amish Erotics ever take the stage *grin* Great party. Always have a blast!

    Like

  9. ROFL!! So sad I missed it…I would love to be a member of the Amish Erotics….what FUN!!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!

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  10. Oh my goodness. I left the party too soon! Okay, when I was in high school, the dance was not over until the band sang Proud Mary. Band would get booed for a soft, slow last dance. We had to go out rocking. LOLOL! (I were to join the group, I’d need a stunt body to dance my part. I have an agreement with gravity that I don’t shake my booty anywhere anyone has to see it and it won’t bitch slap me.)

    Like

  11. Eden says:

    I❤ it! And wow… Ike and Tina's big period evaded me–too young to appreciate them at the time, I fear–, so it's really cool now to see them with more sophisticated eyes. Thanks for giving some play by play of the party and the video… All great joy.

    Like

  12. Jess Witkins says:

    OMG! Where was I during this party?! Tina Turner dancing and costumes! If I provide hair and make up for the dancers, can I get into the VIP seats?! PUH-LEEEEEZ!!!!

    Like

  13. So sad I missed the party! Hopefully next time. I will be sure to pre-order my feather boa.:)

    Like

  14. SO glad the party knocked on my noggin.

    I was late, but skidded in just in time to audition for The Amish Erotics.

    Now I have true incentive to strengthen my abs and reverse gravitational pull in certain other parts of ye young (at heart) body.

    Oooh! And, take those pole dance classes. And, belly dance class. And, Zumba!!!

    So much to do. So little time.

    Like

  15. Piper Bayard says:

    Sounds like I missed one hell of a party. Love the Amish Erotics, though their dress is a bit plain.🙂

    Like

  16. LOL! Looks like everyone is so far keen on Amish Erotics as the name. Now I just need to learn some Tina covers and bedazzle some more lampshade hats. (How adorable is Lena?!?) It’s going to be hilarious, grooving with you all while I strum my folk rock tunes.

    Luckily, the next venue serves alcohol. We’ll be adored no matter what. Not that it’s easy to NOT crush on Amish Erotics. Hmm… Perhaps I’ll use my drunk-listener card to cover up voice quibbles instead.😉 Pretty soon you’ll all take front and center stage. I feel it!

    Uh oh. Can Amish Erotics drink? Must hold a meeting, stat.

    Like

  17. K.B. Owen says:

    ROFL! Missed your party (had to get ready for a trip the next day), but I’m so glad I didn’t miss this dialogue — priceless! 50 shades of hay…hmm…could be a problem. There’s sure to be an itch in the nest, IYKWIM. Maybe Natalie could hook up those Amish romance characters with some female products.

    The gold lame reminded me of something from my childhood. When I was little and played with Barbies, my mother despaired of me ever having good taste in clothes. (Of course, we all know that Barbie is queen of the ‘ho outfit, so I’m sure there were no sedate choices in the first place). I LOVED dressing my Barbies in gold lame, super-high “take-me-now-bad-boy” heels (of course, I didn’t call them that back them, LOL), and feather boas. If I’m going to be a back-up dancer, I MUST have a feather boa. I can channel my inner Diva.😉

    Thanks for the great laugh!
    Kathy

    Like

  18. Lena Corazon says:

    Okay, I officially think I need to include “lampshade-wearing instigator of epic proportions” to my author bio! I am guilty as charged.😀

    This entire conversation was amazeballs the first time around, but I think it was even funnier as I was reading it this morning. Rest assured that I am stockpiling my face glitter and boas for my next trip to SoCal!

    Like

  19. tomwisk says:

    Amish Erotics? Sounds neat. Best wishes on future gigs. Any relation to the Amish Mafia?

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Tom, I think the only link is that we’d be happy to let Lebanon Levi buy us drinks. If he dares…🙂 (And yes, I did have to go look up all this Amish Mafia business…)

      Like

  20. Iy, yi, yi. And how exactly did I get roped into this? I was enjoying the party. Had a couple of virtual jello cubes, spiked by Lisa Hall Wilson and look what happened when I left. Y’all went crazy! Amish Erotica? Well, you know Miss Jenny that I don’t get out much. LOL! Is such a thing was possible? No, don’t go there. Forget I asked. LOL, what a night!🙂

    Like

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  22. I have GOT to remember to turn TweetDeck on more often!🙂

    Like

  23. Diana Beebe says:

    I was bummed that I wasn’t able to attend the party. I wanted to! It looks like it was a blast. August’s Amish Erotica backup dancers are going to be a huge hit!😉

    Like

  24. Best. Twitter Party. Ever. Thank you for letting me play along. I’ll start working on prop design soon. I’m thinking a butter churn could play well on the stage.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Nice!! I love the idea of a butter churn. I think you need to tell August about that and see where she takes it. I could see her writing a GB post addressing the butter churn *if you know what I mean…”

      Like

  25. I was totally bummed that I couldn’t make the party. I was visiting a sick friend. The visit was planned; the sickness was not. We both came down with bronchitis and coughed our way through the weekend.

    Thanks for the hysterical re-cap, Jenny. Who knew that Lena was such an instigator, and she looks adorable in that lampshade!😀

    Like

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