Crossing the Line at Crossfit (aka The Moaning Workout)

Photo of lunges from Crossfit Gables.

Hubby and I have been doing Crossfit for about 6 weeks now. Actually, I took a three-week hiatus for shingles, but he’s been going the entire six weeks, 3x a week.

Crossfit is kind of wild.

He’ll come home and say stuff like “I did 30 snatches and Barbara, and I almost puked.” And I’m not pissed off by that statement because I know what he’s talking about.

Let me explain…

These Crossfit people have names for all their workouts and most of them are female. I’ve asked a few sources and here are the two most plausible answers:

1. Anything that has you on the floor, gasping for air, wondering what just happened has to be female.
2. The workouts are named for all the women who did the founders of Crossfit wrong. (p.s. Those founders must be ho-bags because there’s lots of names on the list.)

Here’s a link to all the Crossfit “Nasty Girls” named workouts – my hubby did Angie last Friday and I worried she might kill him.

Angie
100 Pull Ups
100 Push Ups
100 Sit Ups
100 Squats

All of those batches of 100 must be done in a row before moving on to the next exercise. Ouch.

The motto at Crossfit is: “I Love Brutal Workouts.” One guy has a bumper sticker on his car that reads: “If you’re not puking, you aren’t working out hard enough.”

To my honey’s credit, he is starting to look all buff and badass. But they make him moan.

(I’m not kidding.)

About a week ago, we were working out and my sweet hubby was on the rowing machine, dying. And moaning. Every row, it was “Ahhhh…ah. Ahhhh…ah.” He was moaning so loudly that one of the instructors stopped by in the middle of the workout and asked, “Are you working out or having sex?”

I kind of snickered but I felt bad for him. I’m still on Crossfit Lite due to shingles, so I’m crying every time I try to sit down or stand up, but there’s no moaning or puking for me.

[I aim to keep it that way.]

When I went inside to put my equipment away, there was a female class going on with one of my other favorite gals as an instructor. She and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Her: “What are you doing to your man out there?”

Me: “Nothing! It’s Tony (our trainer) making him sound like that.”

Her: “You know what he sounds like, right?

Me: “He does sound rather suggestive…”

Her: “We took a poll in here about 20 moans ago and decided you’re one lucky lady.”

(Four of the women gave me a thumbs up.)

Me: “Oh, I definitely am.”

Have you ever tried Crossfit? What’s your workout of choice? Does it make you moan?? What’s your theory on the female names for the workouts? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

Other Coolness On Deck This Week:

If you’re following the Holiday Yum series, click on over to Ellen M. Gregg’s blog where she’ll be posting a recipe to The Chocolatiest Chocolate Cake Evah (and her addictive lemonade).

If you’d like to see the Throwdown going on between Orly Konig-Lopez and I at Writers In The Storm re: introverted vs. extroverted writing styles, click here.

Last, but not least, Marcy Kennedy will be here tomorrow for Techie Tuesday talking about Twitter. You don’t want to miss it!