Crossing the Line at Crossfit (aka The Moaning Workout)

Photo of lunges from Crossfit Gables.

Hubby and I have been doing Crossfit for about 6 weeks now. Actually, I took a three-week hiatus for shingles, but he’s been going the entire six weeks, 3x a week.

Crossfit is kind of wild.

He’ll come home and say stuff like “I did 30 snatches and Barbara, and I almost puked.” And I’m not pissed off by that statement because I know what he’s talking about.

Let me explain…

These Crossfit people have names for all their workouts and most of them are female. I’ve asked a few sources and here are the two most plausible answers:

  1. Anything that has you on the floor, gasping for air, wondering what just happened has to be female.
  2. The workouts are named for all the women who did the founders of Crossfit wrong. (p.s. Those founders must be ho-bags because there’s lots of names on the list.)

Here’s a link to all the Crossfit “Nasty Girls” named workouts – my hubby did Angie last Friday and I worried she might kill him.

Angie
100 Pull Ups
100 Push Ups
100 Sit Ups
100 Squats

All of those batches of 100 must be done in a row before moving on to the next exercise. Ouch.

The motto at Crossfit is: “I Love Brutal Workouts.” One guy has a bumper sticker on his car that reads: “If you’re not puking, you aren’t working out hard enough.”

To my honey’s credit, he is starting to look all buff and badass. But they make him moan.

(I’m not kidding.)

About a week ago, we were working out and my sweet hubby was on the rowing machine, dying. And moaning. Every row, it was “Ahhhh…ah. Ahhhh…ah.” He was moaning so loudly that one of the instructors stopped by in the middle of the workout and asked, “Are you working out or having sex?”

I kind of snickered but I felt bad for him. I’m still on Crossfit Lite due to shingles, so I’m crying every time I try to sit down or stand up, but there’s no moaning or puking for me.

[I aim to keep it that way.]

When I went inside to put my equipment away, there was a female class going on with one of my other favorite gals as an instructor. She and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Her: “What are you doing to your man out there?”

Me: “Nothing! It’s Tony (our trainer) making him sound like that.”

Her: “You know what he sounds like, right?

Me: “He does sound rather suggestive…”

Her: “We took a poll in here about 20 moans ago and decided you’re one lucky lady.”

(Four of the women gave me a thumbs up.)

Me: “Oh, I definitely am.”

Have you ever tried Crossfit? What’s your workout of choice? Does it make you moan?? What’s your theory on the female names for the workouts? Enquiring minds LOVE to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

Other Coolness On Deck This Week:

If you’re following the Holiday Yum series, click on over to Ellen M. Gregg’s blog where she’ll be posting a recipe to The Chocolatiest Chocolate Cake Evah (and her addictive lemonade).

If you’d like to see the Throwdown going on between Orly Konig-Lopez and I at Writers In The Storm re: introverted vs. extroverted writing styles, click here.

Last, but not least, Marcy Kennedy will be here tomorrow for Techie Tuesday talking about Twitter. You don’t want to miss it!

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
This entry was posted in Health, Humor, Recipes and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

39 Responses to Crossing the Line at Crossfit (aka The Moaning Workout)

  1. K.B. Owen says:

    “about 20 moans ago” – love it! I can’t even do ONE pull-up, so 100? I’d be the remedial kid, LOL. Riding the short bus, as they say around here. Good for you, Jenny, for still doing the program (“Lite” doesn’t sound so light to me) even though you’re feeling badly. I’m impressed!

    Thanks for the Holiday Yum shout-out, too!

    Have a great week,
    Kathy

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL…she made me laugh too.

      Note: We still can’t do any pull-ups without these huge rubberband thingies that they attach to the bar. They kind of help hold you up until you get strong enough to do it yourself. I can do about 10 at a time with TWO of the rubberbands.

      Hubby did his 100 over the course of about 10 minutes with only one rubberband. I was so proud!

      Like

  2. ROFL! You do sound like one lucky lady. There’s nothing better than an expressive man, IYKWIM.🙂

    I am so proud of you two. Kicking butt with Crossfit is not for sissies or wimps. Y’all got some tenacity and guts. Total inspiration.

    I haven’t been doing much for workouts and I do not have a favorite. Ok, well maybe lifting chocolate covered almonds from the bag to my mouth but that likely doesn’t count. But enough with the jokes, hubby and I are getting more serious about getting fit. He’s joining the gym this week and I plan on hitting the Bowflex…hard! And I’ll be moaning up a storm…but at least it’ll be I the privacy of my own home. LOL!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      If you replaced your chocolate almonds with Jordan Almonds, I’d join you for that favorite exercise, Nat!

      The biggest difference with Crossfit from traditional exercise or weightlifting is that it works your entire body in tandem — like your abs AND your butt with your arms AND your thighs. It’s faster. You get sore, but you get more done in a shorter amound of time, which is nice.

      Like

  3. Jane Sadek says:

    I climb on my exercise bike every morning for an hour. (That’s when I catch up with all my favorite blogs, like Cowbell.) Then twice a week I drag to the gym and let one of the trainers beat me up, but no Crossfit for me. Puking is definitely not my thing.

    Like

  4. Aren’t pull ups those diapers you use after real diapers and before big girl or boy pants?🙂

    And you PAY for this? I’m thinking I like my fluffy little body just like it is ~ with no puking. But DAMN! You two are troopers. Good on you for getting out there and moaning like you mean it. Seriously.

    My favorite exercise is walking with my husband and dogs every morning, which I haven’t been able to do for much too long. It’ll be another month or so before I’m back out there, so for now my trainer is working mostly upper body with some legs, but no squats or lunges (yay!!!). I did actually miss working out when I was down for two weeks after the foot surgery, which kind of surprised me. I guess I like the endorphin rush, but I don’t moan that much. It would scare the dogs and my trainer.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      There’s a bucket called “Pukie” in the gym, but we haven’t used it (nor have I seen anyone else use it)…perhaps it’s just a myth.

      Still, Hubby has come close a few times. Me? I stop and rest like a sane person. I just think it’s silly to push that hard. I’m glad you’re almost back to where you can fully work out. It makes you feel FAB…afterward.🙂

      Like

  5. I try not to do things that make me puke, cause I really, really hate puking. LOL! The history of my family is that the brain gives out before the heart, so I’m trying to synch my body so they both give out around same time.

    Like

  6. gingercalem says:

    Well, I’m sure it’s no surprise that I LOVE this post.🙂 So proud of you both for sticking with it. I tell people in our CrossFit gym that we have a ‘no-puking’ policy. Not so much that you’re now allowed to puke but if you have to, and it’s happened, but you have to make it outside or in the bathroom. No pukie-bucket for us!

    In addition to those ‘girl’ wods like Angie and Cindy, there are also the guys, called Hero Wods. These are usually very brutal and they are named after CrossFitters who were military, first-responders who died in the line of duty. They are a memorial of sorts to them. Pretty cool!

    Keep up the great work.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Thanks Ginger! I had to take a shingles break and I’m pretty sure that’s why I was getting all the crazy headaches. I’m still waking up daily with a headache but it’s getting better. I’m going to make it a point not to engage in any “Hero Wods” – I’m having a hard enough time as it is.🙂

      Note to non-Crossfitters: WOD = Workout of the Day. They post it on the wall at the gym.

      Like

  7. amyskennedy says:

    Well, you know how I feel about making noise in the…workout room! They must love you two at your workout, anything that can make people grin instead of puke has got to be appreciated!

    I was once a runner (sigh) and decided to run with my husband, now I normally did 2 miles, he normally did (does) 6. But he promised to be gentle (snicker) and I went. Well, he should be a trainer–he coaxed and prodded and gentled me 7 flippin’ miles! As I crossed the last street before our house I ended on a howl! I never forgave him.

    Like

  8. zkullis says:

    Jenny, way to go with the Crossfit! Like Natalie said, that stuff isn’t for sissies or wimps. There is room for improvement if your workout doesn’t sound orgasmic. 😉

    I’m kind of strange when it comes to my workout. I follow my body. If I get to a point where it feels like my body is starting to get used to what I’m doing to it, then I change things up. But I always push myself to hit failure (cardio or strength).

    I have found that my body get’s the most out of a workout that has a combination of heart-pounding cardio and muscle-blasting weights/movements. There are only a few things that remain constant with each workout; spending as much time as I can stand beating the snot out of a heavy bag and a LONG shower. As for the rest, it’s whatever I can do to kick my own ass!

    Today’s workout was a doozy. I could barely lift my arms high enough to wash my hair. :/

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I’m completely impressed that you work out until you can barely lift your arms, Zack.

      Our guy Tony will push us much further than we would have gone ourselves but I’m a girl. We hold a little in reserve *just in case*. That means I never go the full 100% to wear myself out, especially not with getting over shingles. I’m more the 75-80% gal right now.🙂

      Like

  9. 100 of anything in a row is madness. Everything in moderation my friend. No cross fit for me. I’ll just stick with my zumba class twice a week. That’s enough sweating for me. We sing sometimes, and crow like roosters (yes we do), but we never moan.

    Congrats to you though!! Woo hoo! Stick with it girl. You and your hubby gonna be da talk of da town!

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      LOL. Zumba is on my list of workouts to try, but I’m not a fan of singing (I sound like a frog). But whatever makes you go is what the best workout is. You. Go. Girl.🙂

      Like

  10. you must post pictures, Jenny girl. if he can do all that, you have to let us look a bit

    Like

  11. I admit to giggling over your husband “doing” Angie and Barbara and moaning. The thumbs up, however, had me guffawing.😀

    I’m so glad your shingles are improving! Thanks kindly for the shout-out.🙂

    Like

  12. Crossfit sounds killer, way beyond me. And I can’t believe you are back at it after only 3 weeks of shingle recovery. I could barely walk for a month after I had the shingles. Maybe the anti-viral helped. Occasionally I consider something harsh for a workout, like a bootcamp, but then something happens and I’m back to trying to amp my walking from slow to wog. Currently trying to do 3 miles a day, plus weights twice a week. If I keep this up, maybe I’ll consider Crossfit. Okay, I’m just saying that. But you keep at it and I’ll be jealous when you have the amazing results and killer bod to match!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      The anti-viral did help but I’ve been tired for sure. And I still wake up with a headache EVERY day. That being said, I think I’ll feel better for having exercised.🙂

      Like

  13. I’m doing Slim in 6, at home, in the privacy of my living room. I don’t think my aging body would allow me to do Cross Fit – I think I’d pull every major muscle and have to be carried out in a body bag. Or something. But wow – you GO, woman!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Slim in 6 sounds intriguing…I’m going to have to look that up. Crossfit gives you some sore muscles for sure, but so far we haven’t pulled anything. We’re not doing the “open class” yet though – we’re too remedial.🙂

      Like

  14. Kim Wilson says:

    When I lived in Florida I was sucked into a Crossfit group, and I loved it. It’s addictive… somehow. I’m not really sure how that works out, but it’s a challenge, and everyone steps up to the challenge. I like to stop in when I’m back in town because I know I’ll push my limits in the best possible way.🙂

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I agree that it’s the cameraderie and encouragement in Crossfit that make it so fun. It’s hard as hell, but it’s quick and when you’re done, you got a really comprehensive workout because all the muscle groups are being worked at the same time.🙂

      Like

  15. Julie Glover says:

    I’ve wondered what CrossFit is!

    Like

  16. Pingback: The 4 Basic Human Needs: Are You Hitting All Of Them? | Jenny Hansen's Blog

  17. Pingback: What Crossfit Is Teaching Me About Writing, Part 1 | Jenny Hansen's Blog

Comments are closed.