Crazy Books – Part 3: Coping with a Small, Um….

One of the advantages of social media is the laugh factor. Nearly every day, I come across something that makes me say, “What were they thinking??” This book is one of those things.

Since we love to kill ourselves laughing here at More Cowbell (especially on Mondays), I thought it would be nice to share this new find with you. Hopefully none of you need it.

Those of you that have “hung out here” for a while saw Part 1 and Part 2 in this series:

Part 1: The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas


Part 2: How to Live with a Huge Penis

(I can’t make this sort of stuff up, y’all.)

Now we have #3 in this long string of “Did You Really Call It That” Books. 

This latest book is real and on sale at Barnes & Noble. Strangely enough, it is NOT on sale at Amazon. Incidentally, it was the questing look on both their faces that killed me. Not to mention…WHO wears their pants all baggy right there? [Hey. It’s a valid question!]

And while we’re pondering all the questions that could be asked about this work of art, think about these:

  • What was the “elevator pitch” for this book? (I’ll bet it was really, really short.)
  • What kind of marketing plan did the author envision?
  • Do he do live readings? Who attended them?

I could go on all day (and I did to my husband). Here’s the cover. Need I say more???

What’s the craziest book cover you ever saw? Feel free to include a link to your, um…masterpiece down in the comments. I’d also love it if you answered any of the questions posed in this blog. Enquiring minds LOVE to know your thoughts here at More Cowbell!

Do you need even more to laugh at today? Get on over to Natalie Hartford’s place. She’s posted a letter to the winning Missed Connection from last Friday’s post. You voted…and boy has she answered!

I’m going to go laugh now.

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm ( Write on!
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54 Responses to Crazy Books – Part 3: Coping with a Small, Um….

  1. Kasey mathews says:

    You made my day, Jenny! The elevator pitch! Ha! I’ll be thinking about that all day! XO


  2. Um, just guessing that wil not be a best seller. Like who exactly is going in to buy that book? Or request help in finding it. LOL! THat book is 100% ebook. 😉


  3. I think that this book may be purchased as a gift for a loved one, NO man would EVER buy it for themselves! That is one of the best covers I’ve ever seen! A body like that would go a long way to making me forget what the woman is looking at.

    Hey, and I wonder how much they had to pay the male model to do THAT shoot! His friends, for the rest of his life, will remind him — flash the book at parties, etc. The possibilities for embarrassment would be endless!


  4. Where did you find that?! That’s awesome. I had a book once titled “So, I came from an egg” but of course I can’t find it on amazon or ebay so I have no pic to prove it 😛 But it wasn’t as good as this one.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I’d love to see the cover on “So I Came From an Egg!” And I don’t know how this one popped onto my screen. Honestly, I was searching for something else and went, “Noooooo way!” It was a gift. 🙂


  5. Diana Beebe says:

    Who’s doing the coping? Oh, there are so many jokes here!


  6. zkullis says:

    LOL This is great! I think there is a way we can get some guys to buy a hardcopy of this book, but it will take a good marketing plan.

    The inside of the book cover should have a measuring tape that can be pulled out for comparison. Please note that the tape, while indicating that it is measuring inches, should actually measure in centimeters.

    A scale should be placed near the measuring tape, and should give the following “unit” labels with a corresponding number on the tape; Horse, porn star, large, average, small, and “we are sorry”.

    Many guys are size-curious. In fact, it is pretty funny to watch the reaction of some individuals in a gym’s shower as they try to compare themselves against other guys in the shower. Their eyes will do the “dip and check” move if they think you aren’t looking at them. Typically, the guys with the roving eyes are the unfortunates that got the short end of the stick as far as genes for penis size.

    Word of mouth advertising done by small-fry guys will push sales for this book through the roof. Imagine the ego booster for these poor little guys! Open book, measure, and have PROOF with a certified measuring tape that you are packing a Howitzer rather than the small caliber rice-shooter that requires reading spectacles to find at the urinal. Best seller!

    One final idea for marketing this book. It should either be more oblong and be small enough to fit into a pair of baggy pants, or it should have a false cover on the back with the title “MEMBER of the 10-inch club”. That way they can leave the book out in the open. 😉

    On a related note: We had somebody on my floor that could NOT for the life of him hit the urinal. A few of us posted some papers over the urinal that said this; “If you are swinging with a short bat, step up to the plate.” Apparently aim is compromised by a short barrel. 😀

    Funny title? “Games you can play with your pussy; and lots of other stuff cat owners should know.”


  7. Catie Rhodes says:

    I skimmed down and saw the cover before I saw what you said about it. While I suspect the book was written with the sincerest of intent, that cover is a knee slapper. But, then, what else could it have been? Use you imagination here.

    As for the funniest book cover I’ve ever seen, that’s a tough one. I see a lot of book covers so bad they make me unwilling to even try a sample. But funny? I don’t know.

    Great post. I’ll think about that couple looking down the guy’s pants all day.


  8. Stacy Green says:

    LMFAO at that cover. All sorts of awesome. This is lame because I’m tired, but I always shake my head at the “Walter The Farting Dog” books. Here I am trying to teach my kid they aren’t funny (in public at least) and there is a book glorifying them, lol.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You know what’s so funny about that, Stacy? I have that book and have thought of using it for this series. I bought it to give to my friend Walter and he already had it! ROFL.


  9. ROFL!!! SHUT THE FRONT DOOR?!?!?! There is such a book…OMG and WHO picked THAT cover?!?! I mean…stellar, seriously?!!? WAHAHAHA!!!
    I’ll have to get back to you on the craziest book I’ve ever seen. Nothing jumps out that could possibly top the 3 you’ve highlighted. LOL!!!
    Thanks for the uber shout out darlin’. So much fun hanging with you and your posse!!


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I know, right??!! Why do they give us these sorts of things to guffaw over. They are TRYING to keep us from our manuscripts. (Bastards!)

      Loved the Missed Connections week. We’ll have to do another of those lovefests soon!


  10. :snicker: I’ve seen that book IRL…at a book store NOT someone’s home/office. And while I LOVED your post Jenny, zkullis killed me with his comment. ROFLMAO!!!!!


  11. I knew it was going to be a good Monday, but did not know how good! LOLOLOL! how do you find these things????


  12. I think I would like to buy a case of these books. Milestone birthday gifts, wedding gifts (for couples who actually open them at the reception), coffee table books (set out during formal dinner parties), new addition for the throne room library (except you couldn’t actually see the reaction of a guest in there). Blatantly reading it in public (when you’re with the husband or boyfriend you just happen to be P.O.’d at). So many fun uses for it…

    As long as I didn’t actually have to cope with it, of course. 😉 Fun post, Jenny! 🙂


  13. Don’t they have extensions now to fix that kind of . . . problem? Deficiency?

    Of the fun stuff you find out there in cyber world.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt


  14. Running from Hell with El says:

    Oh my gosh is this one real, lol? I’m scared to Google search it–who knows what I’d come up with! As far as elevator pitches–smirk!


  15. Outrageous! Yep, I wonder how the author readings went! And is it a big seller? The perfect coffee table book!


  16. lynettemburrows says:

    Oh my gosh, that is hysterical! That is definitely one book I am glad I DID NOT have to do an elevator pitch or even a synopsis. Though perhaps the synopsis was . . . short. *snort* I don’t know any titles that are quite as — suggestive, but here’s a couple that are weird: _Through Alimentary Canal with Gun and Camera_, and _Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat_. I’m grossed out by both! LOL.


  17. If ever a cover rated a BEN-WAhahaha!

    Which logically segues to some Intel I found when playing the Jenny Hansen Google and See What Turns Up Game. I found that a Google search for Ben Wa Balls Kegel Exercises [Don’t ask. It’s not what your think. Really.] yields interesting “People Who Bought this Also Bought…” spinoffs.

    I found a tidbit that might help the penally penisally winky wienerly whaaaateverly challenged, Ben Kegel thingies can be left in place during — you know — to enhance the experience for both participants. Wonder if that helpful tip is in the book.


    • Jenny Hansen says:

      WOW. Jenny Hansen and Kegel Exercises came up?? (If I’d done more o’ them, maybe my floor wouldn’t have dropped. LOL)

      But Ben Kegel sounds like an actual object. *dance of glee over another potential post*

      p.s. I wonder if “penisally” is a word. Hmmmm.


      • WOOT! Can’t wait to see what you do with Ben Kegel.

        As for how you became associated with that search — you were in comment cahoots with the staid and reserved Natalie Hartford about The Balls that Defied Gravity (and sneezes, and jumping and…)

        p.s. We both know “penisally” is red-squiggly-line challenged, but it’s your Blog! You own the right to invent words.


        • Jenny Hansen says:

          I haven’t found Ben Kegel yet but holy mother of GOD, I just found something else in my search. It might be too racy for me…I might have to give it to Nat. Hmmmmm…..


  18. OMG, where did you find these books? And the elevator pitch comment just killed me. I’m actually laughing so hard, I’m crying.


  19. Bwahahahaha. You find the best stuff. I can’t imagine people actually buying that book, except as a gag gift.


  20. Pingback: Jenny Hansen Introduces the Bladder Dominatrix! – Natalie Hartford

  21. Pingback: Crazy Books, Part 4 ~ Bad JuJu for the Girly Parts | Jenny Hansen's Blog

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