Missed Connections: Find The Truth In This Crazy Hot Mess

Natalie Hartford had us rolling in the aisles a few weeks back over her Missed Connections post.

If you’re like the two of us, your first question is, “what’s a missed connection post?” [If you’re even more like us, your second question is, “How do I tear myself away from this crazy hot mess?”]

It’s like this:

People all around the world write and post these “missed connections” advertisements on Craigslist detailing their romantic “missed connection” with someone. I also found a whole website on it: http://www.missedconnections.com/. My all time favorite find was a Tumblr site that gathers the funniest ones together.

My fave headlines were from Kansas City’s Craigslist:

PnL – You sold me your Pantys Friday night – m4w

You put midget porn in my mailbox – m4w

Shut the front door!!! My brother lives in Kansas City. I’ve got to call him and ask whether he knows he’s sharing his highways with these people. Criminey! (Plus, maybe he’ll teach these bozos how to spell “panties.”)

My favorite part about the one above with the midget porn? On the Tumblr site, there’s a little note below it that says, “Note – this is not the way to pick up your mailwoman.” (Ya think?)

Like Natalie, I could be in these things all day. You can’t buy this kind of entertainment (except maybe in Kansas City).

Now, on to the voting part of your Monday morning…

Natalie and I are in this Hot Mess Extravaganza with each other to the end, so when you’re done here, go click on her post. In the meantime, here are 4 Missed Connections for your viewing hilarity – three are from Craigslist and one I made up.

(Note: There will be links to the real ones in a later post.)

Can you spot the fake one? 

You Dropped Your Bible and I Saw Your Thong

I was walking down the sidewalk and you, a very good looking woman from the backside, dropped what appeared to be the Holy Bible, bent to pick it up, and (through no fault of my own) I saw your thong…and wow.

I know Jesus spent some time with Mary Magdalene, and likely she wore next to nothing under those sackcloths, but I have to admit, your short skirt and fluorescent pink thong were way sexier, and made me want to get to “know you”, in the Biblical sense of course. I’m not Christian, but if we can stick to the Basic 10 Commandments and leave the Pope out of it, I think we’ll be OK.

Oh, by the way, I was the very tall, tan, curly-haired, non-Christian gentleman walking behind you.

You Got Naked In My Trash

Yesterday afternoon while stocking the shelves in a local art gallery, I spied movement out our back door. It’s painted black to protect our merchandise so you couldn’t see me but boy howdy could I see you! You were taking off your clothes in the middle of our trash area and gave me the best 5 minutes of my life. You’ve got some sexy merchandise and would be a worthy addition to our collection.

You put on a pink t-shirt, black leather skirt and CFM pumps. I can only assume you were getting ready for a “date” at the apartment complex across the street.

I’d love to know your name. Better yet, I’d love to see you strip someplace better smelling, like my bedroom. Tell me the name of the apartment complex behind the strip mall so I’ll know it’s you.

Looking Forward To My Next Happy Meal

To the woman I had sex with in the bathroom of Walmart. I know we had a very strange love affair and it was an amazing 2 minutes. I would love to take you out sometime.

Meet me this Thursday the 6th at the same Walmart around 6pm. I’ll be sitting next to Ronald McDonald. Hope you are trying to find me…

Strong Legs on Kelly Drive

Hello. I saw you running on Kelly drive. You sort of fell trying to avoid some duck poo. I tried not to laugh but we both had a good laugh about it.

You looked like a former athlete because you had really nice muscular legs. Me I was the AA guy with the great smile. Jokes. Well I would really like to see you again to, um, run together or something sometime soon.

***************

There you have it — THE BEST Missed Connections I could find + a fake one. I can’t wait to see who guesses.


And just for kicks, which Missed Connection do you find most hilarious?


Don’t forget to go scope out Natalie’s site for more Missed Connections. You know she and I will be killing ourselves over these for at least the next week.

Have you ever put up a Missed Connections ad? Do you wish they’d had this sort of thing sooner? What would you write if YOU were making a Missed Connection? Enquiring minds always want know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Avid seeker of "more"...More words, more creativity, More Cowbell! An extrovert who's terribly fond of silliness. Founding blogger at Writers In The Storm (http://writersinthestormblog.com). Write on!
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67 Responses to Missed Connections: Find The Truth In This Crazy Hot Mess

  1. Pingback: Missed Connections…can you spot the fake? – Natalie Hartford

  2. Pingback: Discovering and Building Your Writing Strengths ~ A New Series… | Writers In The Storm Blog

  3. zkullis says:

    LMAO!
    This makes me want to write a crazy Missed Connection just to see what kind of responses I would get! I can’t wait to check out what Natalie has. It’s too bad this wasn’t around earlier!

    Let me try a little something here….. For the sake of boring you to tears, and keeping it fairly decent, I will mix some actual background with fictional fun. 😉

    *** Jägermeister for TWO ***
    To the lovely woman that convinced me to buy Jägermeister rounds for “us”, you should have advised me that the term “us” included the 15-something other ladies that you arrived with. Never-the-less, the three hours it took to ditch your friends before we could go somewhere more private was the best investment of my life (minus the carpet cleaning expense).
    You left something at my buddy’s house (yes, I was house sitting) that required copious amounts of explaining to my buddy and his wife. I would like to return it… If you had to look up the word “copious”, or assumed it had something to do with a copy machine, please don’t respond. The aforementioned item will be burned as an effigy. If you knew the word, meet me at the same place, at the same time, for Jägermeister shots for TWO.

    Like

  4. Gilliad Stern says:

    What an interesting Monday morning post. Lol!

    Like

  5. Catie Rhodes says:

    I was unfamiliar with this. I do like reading stuff like this, though. Post Secret is addictive to me for that reason. Of course, many of those are kind of tragic. It’s voyeuristic to read anonymous thoughts. People–behind the protection of their computer screen–will say anything.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I’m going to have to go give Post Secret a scope. I’ll tell you, if you type Missed Connections and Craigslist in Google, you’ll get hours of entertainment. Because you’re right, they say ANYTHING.

      Like

  6. Stacy Green says:

    LOL. All of these are great, but my favorite Craig’s list ad is Fart in Trader Joe’s. I came across it on 9gag I think and literally had tears running out of my eyes.

    You were the brunette with the near perfect body that farted in the bread section last night. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, “was that you?” You quickly replied, “it wasn’t me!” You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waving 2 loafs of bread. You proceeded to stomp off in an angry manner. You are beautiful and even if you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I’d love to meet up sometime.

    It took me about 5 min to read this out loud to my hubby because I laughed so hard.

    Like

  7. Lordy, today’s a funny day. They’re ALL hilarious. I’ve never put up a missed connections ad, but I did throw a letter-in-a-bottle into the lake once—my plea for a pen pal, friends for now, romance “when we’re grownups.” I never heard back, and sincerely hope I didn’t hurt any fishies.

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      August, I wish you’d heard back! I love it when people hear back. Stuff like that is so groovy. Maybe if you’d done a stream or a river instead of a lake…

      I’m glad Nat and I are entertaining others today because we sure have been entertaining ourselves.🙂

      Like

  8. I can hardly type, I’m laughing so hard!!! Oh. My. Word!!!!! Okay, so I had NO clue about this until Natalie pointed it out, so how many people do know this? I mean, what if your missed connection doesn’t ever see the begging and whining? And I had the worst time guessing. They all sounded CRAZY!!! LOLOL!

    Like

    • I wondered the same thing Pauline. I figure if you were really interested in reconnecting, you’d have to repost your ad a gazillion times in the hopes it was seen. LOL!!

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      • The hubs used to bring home this little paper with classified ads in the back and he found this one where a guy was looking for a lady with a boat to sail around the world. With him as captan and her as first mate. On her boat. Best line was last though: Send picture of boat.

        I would totally love to find out, too, if any of this works. Ever. We should put out a call on twitter. LOLOL!

        Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I’m with Nat – you probably have to try to get people to tweet your MC ad for you so it remains anonymous. I don’t really know how it would all work out. I’m dying to know if people actually get together from these. Honestly, if I was single, I’d be reading these every week! If nothing else, just to make me laugh.🙂

      Like

  9. Tami Clayton says:

    So freaking funny! I’m dying over the one Stacy wrote above as well. “I tried to get rid of the stench by waving two loaves of bread.” OMG! I’m in tears over it. Thanks to you both for a most hilarious start to a Monday morning.

    Like

  10. What a nice way to start a Monday morning! You have to wonder about some people, don’t you? Changing clothes by a trash bin. The ‘encounter’ in the Walmart bathroom… Ewwwww! I don’t even like using it for it’s normal purpose (mostly because public bathrooms aren’t all that clean). Loved the one in the comments, too, about the gas emission. How romantic! I imagine the woman would respond to that as soon as she read it…and she and Romeo will be telling their grandkids how they met someday. 😀

    Like

    • zkullis says:

      The Walmart bathroom romance gets me too. Why can’t I help but think both of the involved parties could probably be found on a “People of Walmart” site somewhere???

      Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      You know my fave part of that Walmart bathroom one? “It was the best 2 minutes of my life.” ROFL.

      Like

      • zkullis says:

        Ergo, we know the writer was a guy…. If your all-time best amorous event lasted an entire 2 minutes (he was probably giving himself a mental high-five), no doubt enhanced by the stimulating atmosphere that can be found in an abode for the commode, then it might be time for somebody to put some bleach in that gene pool. Just a thought. 😉

        Like

      • Dang. My responses keep disappearing on me. I thought I was hitting something on my keyboard, but I didn’t just then. Sigh.

        Okay, I’m not typing all of that over, in case it went through. I will say that I was a bit appalled at the best 2 minutes comment…it just was knocked to second place because of the germ factor involved in an encounter in a Walmart bathroom. That’s just wrong.

        But the germ issues aside…the marathon two minutes should be enough to keep her from contacting him…ever…even if she does see the post.

        Oh…one other thing that struck me…he didn’t even get her first name???

        Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      I’m sure the People of Walmart hook up on Missed Connections ALL THE TIME. LOL…

      Kristy, I swear your point is part of why I couldn’t look away from these. You simply cannot believe that people actually post this stuff.

      Like

  11. tomwisk says:

    Why does picking up a Bible and exposing a thong, especially flourescent pink, strike me as funny and somewhat of a turn on? Is she the “right one” I’m supposed to find?

    Like

  12. I voted earlier, but I think I picked the wrong one. “Boy, howdy” sounds like a Jenny Hansen voice to me. Just sayin’…

    Off to pester Natalie as soon as I post my lost connection.

    Eef you are the handysome man in red how you say Jeeper who drove past me on doven road this morningtime, i did not know what you meant with fun one finger wave. I am young to this country, but my work friends tell me it means you want to have my boody. For this, I am happy. Most peoples in this country do not like that I no shave arm how you say pits and legs. So I am most grateful to maybe find you again. I am woman in red babooshka and can meet you please tomorrow at 6 of the early day if you still have interest in how you say flicking me. It would help so much with my bugle-ee problem.

    Like

  13. Just so much fun stuff floating around out there today. I could spend hours. Oh wait, I already did. Can’t wait for the results.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    Like

  14. Diana Beebe says:

    Hilarious! I can’t wait to see which one was the fake. I bet most of the votes are wrong. LOL. You can’t make this stuff up. Well, you made up one of them, but not without the insane inspiration of the real missed connections!

    Like

    • Jenny Hansen says:

      Diana, all will be revealed tomorrow on Natalie’s blog. It’s gonna be a rip-roaring time. Part of why all of mine are hard to distinguish is that, like Zack, I used a real situation as the basis for a fake Missed Connections post. Y’all are rocking the voting!!

      Like

  15. Natalie Hartford's Hubby says:

    You left a comment on Tameri’s Mr. August post. You’ve heckled my comments at More Cowbell’s Undie Chronicles. You are threatened by Hubby’s Corner and it’s popularity. Incase you have forgotten me, I am the target of many of your post ‘conversations’. You have thrown me under the bus many times an expense you seem willing to spend all in the name of blog ratings. You know who you are – and I love that we always laugh together. If your initials are NH please send me an email if you’d like to hang out at the grocery store and have inapporpriate conversations. All others that fall into the above categories and have 2 minutes to spare – head over to McDonalds Thursday at 6pm for a ‘magical time’ and oh, bring your Purell…you’re gonna need it!

    Like

  16. These are just way too fun. I started my day with Natalie’s and am ending my day with yours. Awesome!

    Like

  17. Pingback: 10 Ways I’d Love My Books To Be Like Flat Stanley | Jenny Hansen's Blog

  18. Piper Bayard says:

    Not. A. Clue. I used to read personal ads and ads like these in the newspaper and I can believe any of them. I am guessing the Happy Meal one is true, though. I believe I heard about that in the news. What a hoot!

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  19. Pingback: Missed Connections…the truth revealed – Natalie Hartford

  20. How can I get any work done????????????

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  21. Pingback: Missed Connections: The X-Men Edition « Emmie Mears

  22. Hysterical! What I want to know is, if some woman shows up who is willing to strip in his bedroom does the “Naked In My Trash” guy really care if it’s the same woman? She needs to identify herself by naming an apartment complex. Hunh? That one has to be real cause too weird not to be. HA!

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  23. Pingback: Urban Word Wednesday: Bed Browsing – Natalie Hartford

  24. Pingback: Dating advice to a misguided missed connection – Natalie Hartford

  25. The Guat says:

    Hanging out at Susie’s party and thought I would stop by. HA! This was too funny. Too funny. I had no idea these missed connections existed. HA! Thanks for the laugh.Glad you posted it on Susie’s site.

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  26. Pingback: Missed Connections: The X-Men Edition | Emmie Mears

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