The Undie Chronicles Continue with…Vibrating Panties

As you found out yesterday, we missed National Underwear Day last week.

On Twitter today, we decided we simply MUST celebrate this holiday in style every year. Henceforth (I just love that word), August is the Month of Undie Homage.

This year we’re gonna start small and just have a quick trial run. A pilot, if you will. One week of Undie Celebration…right here at More Cowbell. I solemnly promise at least THREE special posts, with some variant of underwear, coming your way. *if you know what I mean*

I encourage y’all to join in and celebrate this week in your own special fashion. Diane Beebe has already kicked things off. It was “Undies, Undies, Undies” over at her place yesterday. And today, Natalie Hartford posted on FUNDIES FOR TWO.

Speaking of Nat, she met up with August McLaughlin and I on Twitter to start planning next year’s festivities. More on that tomorrow.

Of course those two got me thinking… And thinking…

What other sorts of Undies might be out there (that I haven’t mentioned here on More Cowbell)?

I found my answer in the comments section over at Natalie Hartford’s place. [You know all us tarty types hang out in her comments section and trade stories, right?]

This particular moment happened in yesterday’s post about Big Exercise O’s. EO’s are when lucky freaky women have orgasms at the gym. It was all Pauline Baird Jones‘ fault for bringing up “happy panties” in the comments. (She is SUCH a tart…)

I had to go look up what those were and Shut The Front Door! I found vibrating undies!!

Here’s Katherine Heigl to demonstrate them:

I looked at the other Google results, still expecting this to be a joke and HOLY COWBELL, THEY’RE REAL. I had to cover my eyes.

And just like my OMG post (Oversized Male Genitalia, in case you forgot), it was Amazon’s “People-who-viewed-this-product-also-viewed-this” section that got me revved up.

I mean, hello??? Who knew all these wild underpants existed?

Not me. (I’m actually quite sheltered.) [Shut up. I am.]

And the Product Features slayed me:

• Silk and Lace Tie Side Panties
• Removable Vibrating Bullet With 10 Unique Patterns
• Wireless remote control that works up to 20 feet away!, – Glow-In-The-Dark LCD screen, – All Batteries Included, – Packaged in Designer Lingerie Gift Box

Glow in the dark?
All batteries included? (Like FOREVER??)

Then I got to the Product Description…

This was the part of my Monday night program that sent me over the edge.

Product Description:
Here’s a frisky piece of lingerie that’s guaranteed to turn both of you on! these seductive tie-side panties are made from the softest lace and the silkiest satin ribbon. however, these aren’t just any old sexy panties! tucked inside the panty’s secret pocket is a 10 function wireless vibrating bullet that is operated by remote control from up to 20 feet away!

Can I just add that if my honey’s turning me on, I certainly don’t want him to do it from 20 feet away? What am I…a freaking remote-control car??!

One last curiosity I have: Does Sister Myotis know about these? (If she thought thong underpants were a weapon of mass corruption, she’s gonna pass out over these vibrating jobbers.)

Note: When you click the Amazon link to the vibrating panties, pay special attention to the “Product Ads from External Websites.” A Detox Kit?? I need Detox after wearing these? (The last time me and Detox met up, it wasn’t pretty.)

So are you with me? Are you ready to rock the Undie-verse? Any special festivities fermenting in your feverish brain? Enquiring minds always want to know these things here at More Cowbell!

Jenny